The following is the January selection for the Monthly NDE. These selections are taken from accounts submitted to the International Association for Near Death Studies archives and are posted here anonymously.* They are normally sent to IANDS members.
Similar to the Monthly NDE in December, this NDE was experienced by a pregnant woman. It is an unusual but graphic account in which the experiencer suddenly finds herself in a beautiful golden city. It resembles a common motif of NDEs that consist of vivid colors in beautiful gardens and pastoral scenes, but here it is a city instead. There are other accounts of encounters with cities, often viewed from a distance, but this is unusual in its close-up descriptions.
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There are a few other interesting aspects worth mentioning. The experiencer is told that she must go back shortly before she is about to encounter her daughter. The implication is that this was a daughter who had previously died. The woman also experiences a profound yearning to return to the world she encountered during her NDE. That is a common feeling that is shared by many who have had NDEs and is one of many differentiating factors that distinguish NDEs from dreams and hallucinations.
Submitted to the IANDS Archives in 2003:
On April 21, 1999, I was shopping in k-mart and I at the time was pregnant and also a diabetic. My legs felt a little weak and I thought my blood sugar was low but when I took it, it was normal. So I checked out of the store and started my 5 minute trip home. But I turned around and went back to the store. I just wasn't feeling right and so I parked the car and went into the store and told the greeter I needed an ambulance. She went and told the customer service desk personnel that I needed an ambulance. One was called and then 911 called back and ask what was wrong. I told them to tell them that I was a 48 year old pregnant diabetic and I felt weak, that something was wrong. The greeter got a wheelchair and had me sit down. I leaned my head over on her side and she rubbed my head. I told her that I thought I was going to die. I just had this feeling. She said, "Baby you are going to be all right". The ambulance arrived and I got up and walked t! o the stretcher and laid down, not having any real distress, just felt real tired. The paramedic took all my vital signs and got my medical information and he said everything looked good. They ran an emergency run on me even though everything was good.
I was wheeled into the ER and just as I was put on the E.R. stretcher I heard the nurse say, "Her heart has stopped". The E.R. doctor said that my "lead was loose" and the nurse said, "No, her heart has stopped". The E.R. doctor checked me and said, "This woman is dead".
Well, my friend had followed us to the hospital and he came into the E.R. room and looked at me and said, "Do you want me to call your mom". I said, "No, I'll be out of here in a little bit". But he said that when he opened the door he did say that but that I never answered. He said they were already working on me, and he said, "You was gone".
This is the best part I will never forget as long as I live if I live to be a thousand. I just walked through the door and I was in another land. The most wonderful and beautiful place I have ever seen. I remember standing in this street that was cobblestone but it was gold and I looked down at my feet and just looked at my bare feet on this beautiful gold street. I walked over to one of the buildings and it was so astonishingly beautiful. I remember taking my hand and rubbing the wall and admiring the beauty. I just stood there and rubbed it. As I began walking down the street I met people and we just knew everything. We exchanged smiles and I said I was looking for my sister and daughter. I knew they were there, it was just a matter of finding them. I was not scared. I had a peace and understanding of everything. I had no memory of my life here. I just knew who was there and I kept on looking at this city that was in front of me. I was walking into the ci! ty. It was gold and just cast off all the light in this world. There was no sun or moon but the sky was so beautiful. There was colors of all kinds. The sky was so beautiful. I would stop every now and then and remain to look at my feet walking on this gold street. I then would go to the walls of the buildings and rub them more, so beautiful. There was trees and water so clear. Everyone knew everyone. It was like I had been there forever. I was so happy and had this peace in me that is unexplainable. At that time I knew everything. I was at peace. I remember just standing and looking around at this beautiful city so, so beautiful. And when I went around a corner of a building I heard my daughter call me and I was so happy I was going to see her. And then a voice said, "It's not your time yet to be here".
And then I woke up into this hell of a respirator on me. My mom and sister were standing in the corner of my room. I remember my sister asking the nurse, if I came to would I have brain damage and she said, "Only time would tell." The nurse called my name and said, "Do you know what happened to you?" She said, "When you came into the E.R. your heart stopped you went into v-fib and it took us over 4 1/2 minutes to get you back." I wrote on the paper towel "No, I had been to this city of gold and I wanted to go back." She said, "When you came in, you died." And I wrote, "Please let me go back, my sister and daughter was waiting on me." I wanted to go back. I didn't want to stay here. She told me that if God had been ready for me he wouldn't have let me come back. She said, "We worked really hard on you to get you back."
Well from all the shocks I had received, my baby died. I then had to have 3 bypasses and I wouldn't sign for them. I was so critical they let my mother sign for my surgery.
All my life I had been scared of death, but it is the most wonderful experience I have ever had and that includes giving birth. I yearned to return. Even the surgery never worried me because I knew what was on the other side. So I was just waiting. But for several months after the episode I had this displaced feeling, like I just didn't belong here anymore. My eyes were sensitive to this light. This didn't seem to be my world anymore and I would just cry to go back. Well I told my doctor and he said that patients he has talked to have this same feeling. He asked me if I ever considered suicide. I told him, "no". He said that some people want to go back and they do this and have these thoughts. I told him, God can take care for me and what he wants for me will be.
I finally got back in the normal flow of life. But, I still think of this daily and I'll just cry because I am homesick sometimes. I just figured that my life journey here is not finished and there are people I have to share love with and tell what a wonderful world is forever.
Many thanks to Odin and Marina for this contribution....hugs.
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