everything turned upside down today

The all conquiring light became the hiding shadows. The spiritual became the unspiritual, including me. The teachers revealed as those who are silent. My pride was revealed as my destructor. A hill became a mountain. My hope is strained to it's limits.
But worste of all is knowing I am not a spiritually evolved person, when thats all I thought I had.
If this is one phase of our knowing. Then I will see it in the replies of those who answer, and if there are no reply I will see it in thier no reply.
I hope I am not going nuts.

Alaskans, You are OK.

The Beauty which is uniquely You cannot uphold comparisons which would slight or withhold from what is uniquely You.

Trust yourself. this crisis is happening because you possess the inner courage to get through it.

it is immensly difficult to let go of what is not you, that which you have gathered in comparison to. No other's seeming measure can overshadow any other, we are all equals.

You are worthy just as you are. spirit does not require evolving. 'spiritual evolvement' is a myth constructed of comparisons.

you are not going nuts. far from it. you are becoming sane in an insanity of ill constructed thought complexes that dont have anything to do with any one and who they are within them self.

the simplicity of You lets go of complex comparisons, to see your very self in it.

you are worthy of you. you are love loved opening up to loving you first.

it is not a race, not a win lose gammut of choices. let go and let your self be you.

let go of even asking your self who you are. you are you, and my goodness that is enough beauty to light the world up through your eyes alone.

life is through you felt, such that by your feelings it is. you are the living being and the life is yours so to be. just be. just breathe, love and live to love.

spirit is just as you are, and you are just as spirit is.

simple.

You

enough

beauty

yours

truth

all you, as you feel it so to be

now, you are scaring me, probably us.

make a promise to love you, and rest in that alone

hell, I/we dont even know you and I'm here to tell you, what's not to love about you.

upside down is good. that's just what the child does in the turning downward to be birthed.

let the labor be the Mothers, and yours be the relaxed ease in forces outside of your reckoning.

what we think about 'it' pretty much doesn't amount to a hill of beans. but what we feel is a mountainous creation from which each is hewn in kind.

peace be you,

tim

Don't worry. Dark days happen. ;)

What happened (in less mysterious terms)?

Take care,
Oliver

I had to smile when I read this because, believe it or not, this is a good thing, and a sign of progress. You're ready to face all this "stuff" that's being presented to you, deal with it, and put it to rest. That might take some time to do, but just take one thing at a time and don't struggle or resist.

You might want to do a little research on "dark night of the soul" perhaps, and see if it resonates with you, but otherwise, know that you're not going crazy, nothing's "wrong" with you, and it's just time to move forward into some of the darker places in your psyche. Don't worry, there's a light at the end of the tunnel, and it's not an oncoming train. Keep moving, one moment at a time, one issue at a time, and you'll get there, with greatly altered and transformed outlooks.

Dear Alaskans,

you're not alone.

You said that you are not a spiritually evolved person but are you sure if that is you or only an expression of a type of a nasty energy that coarses through your subtle energy bodies at this time?
Above all I recommend to not take it too serious. It is my experience that these dark energies usually disguise themselves in many apparent life circumstances when in fact it's not the life circumstances that make one feel so bad but external vile thoughtforms pushed upon human subjects.
On some occasions however, one can feel out of a sudden, horrible and putrid for no apparent reason and this is when these vile energies or negs that are causing it are easily exposed and one can take action before they can pollute him.



In the last 8 weeks I've certainly felt like going nuts. The attackers seem to always find a weak spot in my mind and abuse these as entry points to squeeze as much energy out of me as possible (thru the resulting emotions such as fears, anxieties, worries, regret etc).
They enter my stream of thought and make it appear as If they are really my inner guidance in order to lead me astray.

It is my experience that stimulating the third-eye chakra can really help a lot to ward off these horrible energies and I'm not exactly sure why but my theory is that as you stimulate the third-eye chakra (as you would do with anything using NEW) you draw energy into this high vibratory center and away from the low vibratory centers in solar plexus and spleen. In my theory, this makes you more susceptible to high vibratory energy and out of phase with low vibratory energy. As you know, worries fears and other terrible emotions happen in the spleen and solar plexus chakras that vibrate low enough to let them happen. I've tried a lot, including but not limited to trying to ignore bad energies and reason them out of existence but I've had by far the most success with third-eye chakra stimulation. But one has to do this intensively or using aids such as breathing in and imagining all the air sucked into one's forehead or inflating it. This is very easy and effective and anyone can do this.


Above all, in my opinion one shouldn't surrender to these horrors in an acceptist, apathist or defeatist attitude. Our world is full of parasitic intelligences residing in it's ether and man's selfish systems and wars make it easy for them to mingle. My stomach turns upside down when I hear one claim that another's suffering was due to some kind of ongoing lesson :roll:. Yes, it is undeniably true that we do indeed progress in our continual struggle with these invisible negative entities and their energies but let us not forget that we must eternally oppose wrongdome and let no window open for the mean and ill spirited be they invisible or not, to latch onto us and drag us down.



kind regards,

Paul

Maybe I'm not who I thought but at least I care about people. That others care for me just as much, if not more, is a comfort.
Tiny I've intentionally made myself ignorant and naive in order to believe negs out of my reality (and remove limitations). But I am too aware of energy to believe negative energy out of existence.
I'm ok. Need a lifestyle change. Like I say, ive never had a bad experience in my life, im sure this is no exception.
As for the smashing of my lifelong dream of being like God, it is good enough to be a part of God's experience.

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Originally Posted by Alaskans

The all conquiring light became the hiding shadows. The spiritual became the unspiritual, including me. The teachers revealed as those who are silent. My pride was revealed as my destructor. A hill became a mountain. My hope is strained to it's limits.

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Sweetie, you are more evolved than you think. You just have realized that you're human, and it's something that we all are, at least when we come here. You need to abandon hope, indeed, but not in a negative way- you need to remember who you really are. Not an individual that is 'more' or 'less' evolved, but God having a human experience- as you.

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But worste of all is knowing I am not a spiritually evolved person, when thats all I thought I had.

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Ah, but that is not to be had, but to just be. And, you are.

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I hope I am not going nuts.

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You're not going nuts, you are beginning to see, and that is painful. I'm sorry you're in pain.

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Originally Posted by Alaskans

That others care for me just as much, if not more, is a comfort.

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Completely serious now (without emoticons or my strange sense of humour popping in). I care very deeply about you and other members of this forum, and the forum community as a whole.

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Originally Posted by Alaskans

ive never had a bad experience in my life, im sure this is no exception.

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:)

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Originally Posted by Alaskans

As for the smashing of my lifelong dream of being like God, it is good enough to be a part of God's experience.

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I think that in time you'll come to see that "being like God" is actually being like yourself. I know it may not make sense at the moment, but there it is.

Geez, this was my last post as alaskans, and my last post in 5 years. That was cruel to not pop in and let you all know I survived! (physically) I just didnt realize, or think about it after this turning point. It is still ongoing. The result of which seems to be maturity, which seems pretty indistinguishable from scar tissue.

It is funny how much things change isn't it. They say people dont change but that is not my inner experience.
To me it feels as though I have died and reincarnated many times in this one life. That seems to give me comfort.. things are so impermanent that you can rest easy in the knowing that nothing good or bad will ever stay the same or be around forever.

Scars- what an eloquent way to describe maturity.
You certainly have gone through a lot, but the reader can 'feel' the difference from your earlier work. I mean this as a compliment.