CF's dream diary

Curses! Foiled again! :evil:

:lol:

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Originally Posted by CFTraveler

and now I'm walking to some sort of institutional building, or some sort of 'checkpoint'.

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What you describe in the last part looks a lot like a gatekeeper scenario.

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Originally Posted by CFTraveler

I still am cynical about the environment (as if I feel I'm being tested) but my lucidity has waned- I am not convinced what I'm seeing is happening, but I feel there's some sort of other meaning and I am studying the situation closely.

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If this is a gatekeeper scenario, then this is the hint that your inner senses are online, registering some valid information, but the judgement about the meaning of the situation is off:

What you see isn't what is really happening, the entire experience is symbolic - there are no gates or borders where you are. It's just a representation you chose for yourself.

There is indeed some other meaning - you are taking it too literal.

And it would help to pay more attention - but not to find a hidden motivation, but to take a look at the function of everything instead of taking the representation to literally.

So, your consciousness is actually full of clues, but your presentation is slightly off, spinning the information somewhat.

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Originally Posted by CFTraveler

There are people in line to go somewhere that may be a food store. They are going through some sort of scanner that is set to detect some sort of disease or 'difference' in their bodies- some sort of condition.

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How would a gatekeeper know you are ready or not for a certain zone? They look into your energy body. They quite literally look "through you" - like a scanner. There is no fooling them. They can see unseen things (like a disease).

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Originally Posted by CFTraveler

Finally the other one relents and they are let in. This makes me happy.
My 'dream' thinking goes like this "good- the infrastructure is falling apart- doubt has begun to creep into the enforcers. They are not going to stand much longer, because the people know that this is a lie, and even the people in charge of enforcement have begun to question." This is where I started to lose the dream, and I began to wake up.

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I think this is finally the point where your mind lapsed into its "favorite" interpretation of things. If this was really a gatekeeper scenario simulation, then this would represent the opposite of lucidity - hence returning to a non-lucid dream state. It's possible that your idea of what is happening distorted too much your actual perception of what was going on.

Many parts of this experience hint at a simulation. You're accompanied by someone. You have a lot of information - you don't think you're a subject. Your curiosity is at its peak. It's like you're in a very conducive state of mind. You know that it is not real.

Your mind now has everything in place to make a different decision about the situation. But you resort back to the streak of associating authority with negative connotations - like "enforcers."

Note how these people never do anything negative except denying someone access. So there's a lot of implicit beliefs coming to the surface here.

Cheers,
Oliver

PS - I think what could be useful here is thinking about what could have been done differently. I think asking the person next to you about what was going on here would have been useful.

Cheers,
Oliver

I wake in the morning, go back to bed and resolve to dream for Oliver.

I'm in a jeep and a male is driving. We are going somewhere, and we end up stopping in a place full of wilderness and beauty. We get out of the jeep, and walk around, enjoying the beauty of nature when all of a sudden this really big alligator/crocodrile appears and I freak out. My friend starts to run and so do I. I encounter a rhino in front of me. It charges and I run away. At this point I see a lion also coming at me. In this moment I think we must have wandered into Busch Gardens, somehow. The situation looks hopeless, we're surrounded by wild animals which want to eat us (I think there was a bear somewhere in the mix also- or the bear resolved into a lion, I'm not sure now.
So I see that on the side of the area is a very tall wire (that looks electrified) fence with a house on the outskirts. I imagine that people must live right next to the preserve, and it must be safe on the other side. So, with no hope of being able to achieve it, I still run like hell and climb on the fence, and vault to the other side. I am amazed I made it. My friend has made it also and whips out a cellphone and calls for help. This makes me angry, we were safe already, and now we are getting chewed out by some sort of rangers for trespassing, and I kept telling them that it was not intentional, that we just ran into the place, not on purpose, which is true.

Now we go (I'm still angry at him for wimping out and asking for help) to a house where there are some people there, and there is what looks like a schoolmistress who gives me a bucket of decorative plastic pieces and markers and other crafty things, and points me and my friend (who is still with me on this other part of the dream) and tells us that we have to decorate these three chimneys (it's like a contest or test) each one of us has one chimney to decorate and we are supposed to reproduce a pattern "and it has to be perfect" because if you fail you have to pay for damaging the chimney (which is plastic) and keep at it until it's perfect. There are three chimneys, and there are two of us, and then I see there is a third person there, a little girl who has begun hers, and is really doing a horrible job with red marker. I see what she's trying to do, and I call the boss-lady and ask her for better supplies, and a picture of what we're supposed to do, and maybe some instructions, if she really thinks I'm going to touch the thing without instructions. Then the little girl that is working on the other fireplace gets into my bucket and mixes all the pieces. They are different types so it's easy to sort them out correctly, and I yell at the lady about her lack of control and organization regarding this event, which is supposed to be important.

I think the event was to be held in your honor, because the thought that this was for you was still under the current of the dream, but given your interpretation of the previous one, it was for me also, especially the 'testing' and 'boundary' thing.

Hello, CF.

Again very interesting experiences.

In the second part of the dream is again the reference to this being a "test" - so this could be simulations, again.

In the one dream you expect to be chewed out by rangers when calling for help. This is very funny, because this is my expectation, too! I avoided a forest ranger in another dream when I could have asked for directions (something I very rarely do), and I avoided the preacher in a recent dream as well out of a distrustful attitude and not wanting to ask somebody for help (if it is a stranger). These are negative expectations and they shape our perceptions.

I mean, why would you get chewed out by the rangers? Do you know this? Similarly I just assumed something about "my" forest ranger and "my" preacher. This is also an interesting overlap of symbols.

So, you didn't want help in that scenario. Now another authority - and a schoolmistress is almost too archetypical to be true. ;) This is like a traumatic encounter from childhood that shapes our perceptions forever. Can you remember a situation like this at school that might have shaped you this way? I certainly remember at least one teacher who traumatised me badly and hurt my trust in authority.

But now your reaction is different - while in other dreams you try to undermine control or evade or subvert authorities, you now appeal to the authority to do its job. This is a conflict in underlying beliefs, I'd say. You expect the authority to do their job on the one hand, but you also want to challenge the authority at other times.

There's also perfectionism outpictured - you want a setup that guarantees optimal results.

I think we're in similar quandaries here, that's why it might relate to both of us.

1) There's the wish to be in control, self-sufficient, of not wanting or needing help.
2) There's the wish to be optimally supported and protected.
3) And there's the wish for perfection and that these thing should come easily to us.

After you escape the animals, you basically exhibit wish 1 - that's why you resent the rangers and the call for help. Being chewed out by the rangers would mean they have some sort of authority over you, which would also imply a degree of control, which you don't want. I also know similar situations in my life.

Your appeal to the schoolmistress expresses wish 2. But as we all remember this level of protection and guidance comes with a degree of control, something we all rebelled against at some time during our time in school.

You do not do the work "laid out" in front of you because you see that you can't have wish 3 here. Recently I've come up to some challenges where I have the same problem and was told so.

The question is if the situations presented here also present solutions to the problematic beliefs.

It's easy with the kid - it dives in and just tries to do something. The result is necessarily bad at the beginning. In this scenario the mark seems to be set very high, but what else can you do (except try to resist the whole scenario and the task itself)? Learning is "messy" (as opposed to the "organization" you ask for), so all you can do is try (and possibly again and again till you get it right).

With the animals you are reminded that you can always call in help.

Cheers,
Oliver

Thanks Oliver. When it comes to personalities, you've got me down pat.

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Originally Posted by CFTraveler

Thanks Oliver. When it comes to personalities, you've got me down pat.

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That's a bit funny. To a certain degree I just look at the dream and what I know about myself. :)

Cheers,
Oliver

I went back home to take care of some business. I decide to go to where my grandmother used to live when I was growing up (my second home). I expect to see someone else living there, but when I get there I see my great-grandmother's sister. I am surprised because she didn't live there when I was growing up. She explains to me that her son lives there now, his name is Richard, Richard Kang. (IDK a Richard Kang) I ask Richard to go into his bedroom, which is the room that used to be my grandma's (and I used to sleep there when I stayed on the weekends) I walk in and the room looks architecturally the same, but the colors are different. Bright colors, carpet on the floor. I start walking around 'taking in' the times I spent there and noticing the difference. Then, I close the door and am surprised and overwhelmed to see a painting of my grandmother that had been turned into a poster and was lifesize hanging on the door. I see the poster and am overwhelmed with emotion- like being punched in the chest. I start to cry and wake up, to find myself making a keening noise and tears in my eyes.
It took a few minutes to get myself together before waking up, and this surprised me. I guess I have more work to do in this regard.

a few notes: Ramonita (the lady in the dream) passed away when I was 12. She was the oldest of around ten children, my great grandmother was the youngest. She did not live in that house but did live in the neighborhood. I never met any of her children that I know of, and the name Kang is not her last name. (Plus, if there was a Richard, he would be around the age of my grandmother, who passed away in her nineties).

I'd say that's the signpost of a true projection - you step into the scene. And you're right, you didn't embrace the situation and do what was the counselor function - explain that there is a new life for them but they must 'go there'. You have spent so much time and effort with thoughts of negative energies I think you have actually emboldened them (just a product of your work here). Your knee-jerk reaction was basically, "Go Away", but please remember you operate on a much higher plane than they and you deserve all the perks that go with that achievment.

Stand up. You are so tall to me, please be tall to yourself.

R

Hey, E1B.

What are you referring to?

Oliver

First night on Beek's experiment. Two dreams, one object of interest. The second dream is clearly mine, the first one isn't.

Dreamed something about Beek. moving to an apartment and getting ready for it. Cleaning house, etc.
As I awoke I saw what looked like a block of cheddar cheese.
Then I had another dream in which we had bought a vacation apt. with many amenities. We had been told the amenities (game room, sauna, some other party room) were split so that we had our private area. I went with A. to the sauna while he went to the game room. When I went to go get my clothes half of them were gone and I only had underwear and a t-shirt on, and I couldn't go to my apt. like that, so I sent him to get his dad. Then I saw some cleaning ladies walking away with my clothes. I yelled at them that those were my clothes, and they argued with me, saying that they found them 'discarded' and were going to throw them away. I argued with them (there was a glass barrier between us) and they maliciously took them away, leaving me stranded, half naked in this place that was supposed to be 'my private area'. Now I thought of going back to the apt., except that I didn't remember the number (only that it was in the second floor) and then a member of the HOA came in, and I told her what happened, and she said that the people that sold us the apt. lied to us, that the amenities area was common to all owners, and promised to look into my stolen clothes. I did show her who took them and what they were and that one of the articles was my son's jeans jacket, which had his name written inside. At this point I woke up, full of righteous indignation.

HOA= Home Owner's Association.