Ongoing issue

Dear Robert Bruce,

A couple of years ago I suppose it was I wrote to you on the 'Pulse Forums regarding a psychic attack I was experiencing. I would like to provide you with an update now, with the methods I have tried and how they have worked out.

To start from the beginning, ( I am not sure which of specifics of my story will be pertinent and which not, so I will just try to be thorough.) I had the ability to project as a young child, and have vivid memories of it, of the spatial differences as one goes into trance, of raising out of my body from my bed, I also have the memory of an imaginary friend that took the shape of a green cloud in this same lapse of time, I also remember growing uncomfortable about this being, and in the end fearing it. I specifically remember wishing it gone and having it vanish from that point on....
Anyway, somewhere along the line during my young childhood I lost the skill of leaving my body from an awake state. I also, from as far back as I can remember, have had an unshakable fear of the dark that still plagues me to this day.

I had a pretty uneventful childhood at least in relating to the above. A waking paralysis one day, a couple instances of dreams that would pick up where they left off and perfectly sequence themselves over the span of about a week (the last one with a cut in my dream appearing on my arm when waking) and a handful of clairaudience and clairvoyant experiences). But, still uneventful relatively speaking, as the experiences I am now describing were few and far between, these few in a span of about 10 years. Far enough apart that I was able to dismiss them at least for the most part to nerves, lack of sleep, etc..

Anyway, I have always had an intense interest in astral projection, and a couple of years ago I purchased your book, Astral Dynamics. I had immediate success, not in projection, but with the energy body exercises described in your book.(A note: I read your first few chapters about stimulating the secondary centers, put the book down, and then took the knowledge I had already acquired about the locations of the major chakra systems and went to town meditating in my bedroom. The experience I had was so intense I absolutely did not know what to make of it! Intense heat anywhere I focused, Intense pressure in my heart chakra, tremors that continued even after I stopped my session, a feeling of the walls of my body expanding about a foot in each direction, and a lighting storm erupting in the center of it. Increased emotion; Tears running down my face....A feeling that I might be killing myself, but strangely I kept going....So, later I picked the book back up, read your recommendations on slow progression, chuckled, and took your advice.)

Things progressed at a steady pace. I got to the point that I was entering the full trance state and practicing NEW, and handling it just fine.. Projection soon followed. I was blind, but it was undoubtedly an out of body experience. The second time I focused on seeing my hands, and a spectral pair of hands materialized in the blackness.

This is about where my progress halted. Somewhere around the time of the above, I started seeing these little clouds of glowing gnats, especially after practicing meditation, and at my feet. I would sometimes feel them brush against my skin, but it was something for the most part ignored. Later on these sighting increased, and I would see them even when I had not meditated. Often, when at their thickest, I would feel at intense heat in the area that they hovered above while laying down(the feet and legs) and I would also feel painful pricks.

Anyway, this led to me having too much fear to practice, and I began trying your countermeasures. I did not have lasting success with using NEW to interrupt attacks. ( I say lasting, because at first it would temporarily interrupt things. It does not work now.) I tried keeping the lights on in the room I sleep in 24/7, along with plants and music. I ended up having to sleep on my couch. I tried many of the tactile imaging methods you suggested, using prongs to pull out attachments and throwing them in a furnace as one example. I tried the hose technique outside, we have very healing water as well (it comes from a deep underground well. A good soak always provides me with temporary relief, but it is only temporary.

Some time passes, I have more encounters

What I believe to be an incubus

A very unclean spirit that takes the form of a large plume of darkness

All sorts of these little astral glowing gnats (these I see daily and they seem to be very attracted to sexual release, or any strong emotion (especially fear)

Orbs of varying degrees of size and color, some huge blobs that float along, most (not all)seeming not to care about me in the slightest, on their own agenda.

Somewhere along the line I developed a seed wart on my foot, I would develop a strong sucking/probing pain there that would coincide with the presence of the gnats mentioned above. It became a strong indicator of activity, and was an area of vulnerability for me.

I treated it with Compound W, and tried your sigil method with the blue ink (which at first would make me feel a little sick and increase the pain, but then after a time would make it cease). As the wart began to dissapear I developed a similar pain in my other foot, in the same exact spot. Though the area healed physically, the area is still plagued to this day ( I have had this specific issue for about 2 years now.)

One night I was trying to sleep through an attack on my couch, when I woke up from a very disturbing dream ( A dream glamorizing and making increasing the desire to follow through with unacceptable actions) with the feeling of being pushed out of my body. Though very drained and tired, I stroked my hand over the top of my head. This immediately cut off the feelings, though very tired I would immediately start to fall back asleep and the feeling of being pushed out of my body would immediately return. After doing this a couple of times I found the resolve to get up and was determined to defend myself.(I know it seems I should have been more alarmed, but with dealing with this stuff on a daily basis my system of alert seems to have been blunted.)

Anyway I chewed up a few cloves of garlic, and poured salt over the couch I was sleeping on. As I laid on the salt, it seemed to push a presence out of my body, as if I laid on a magic force-field that cleared me accordingly. I slept that night with no issue.

The salt (I tried the MEGA salt bath once, but we have a septic system and clay soil) and fumigating my room with chopped up garlic is a 1-2 punch that really does the trick. What I end up doing now is this: pouring salt all over my bed, pouring it in both socks (in massive sock stretching amounts) and sometimes when things are really bad, chopping up the garlic.) I have slowly had to increase the amount of salt I use, for localized relief. Also, the salt must be touching the afflicted area at all times to be effective (specifically the old seed wart site...I cannot describe the relief it gives me after a day of no protection to have the salt first applied to the site, it is a relief, but constant affirmation that I have a serious problem.(Why else would salt of all things relieve me of such intense pain?) If my socks get loose at night, or the salt bunches to the side, I will have to resituate it to sustain relief. There also is a short increase in pain when it is first applied, that slowly subsides to a soothing normaility.

Ok, so here is where I am right now......

I sleep in a bed of salt. I am afflicted daily with probing pains and pressures along different areas of my body, and my moral base is becoming instable(While at one time having a strong sense of right and wrong, it will now fluctuate, with the only thing keeping me from doing horrible things is a small thread of memory reminding me that my lucid self would object.)I feel like I am going crazy, and turning into a monster. I don't know what else to do.
I would really appreciate some help.
Thanks for the time,

Brandon