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Thread: Sinera's Lucidiary

  1. #1

    Sinera's Lucidiary

    Recently, I had a kind of breakthrough (hip hip hooray !). Due to a new method (better: strategy with a bundle of measures) which I developed for myself, I now get lucid and can 'project' more often. Recently, I had exits 3 nights in a row ... wow... a new age has dawned ... The new method really seems to hold! It is a great relief for me after a very long period of drought.

    Hence, my lucid adventures will hopefully become more frequent from now on and therefore I decided to put them here in one thread instead of making threads for selected topical adventures in the way I do it in the dream subforum with regard to my ongoing 'programming project'. So rejoice, my dear AP fellows, here it will all be concentrated into this one thread.

    Something about the title: I do not distinguish generally between Lucid Dreams, OBEs (RTZ-projections) and Astral/Mental projections. Even if I tried to make categories, I couldn't do it, it is a fluent continuum and sometimes it is impossible anyway. I differentiate between "normal" dreams (non-lucid adventures) and "lucid adventures". So I have more or less Kurt Leland's approach who also says it is all 'adventures in consciousness' in his newest book.

    So the real dividing line between posting in this sub-forum and in the Dreaming-forum (mostly about programming) is the following criterion: Lucidity, and lucidity alone.

    That is why I gave my journal here the name "Luci-D-iary" (prevailing against "AstraLog" as a close second ). Here, it contains lucid or at least 'partially' lucid adventures (the latter of which, for example, also includes False Awakenings, which happen quite often for me in the proximity of fully lucid adventures). I call the experiences thus "lucidventure" (or as a variant: "lucadventure"). You see, I like playing with words as I like playing with my consciousness.

    Logically, as before, completely non-lucid experiences such as programmed dreams will be posted in the Dreaming forum. This makes the most sense to me. However, sometimes I need to mention non-lucid dreams here out of which lucid adventures developed to provide the necessary narrative consistency of the events and developments.

    Although it is tempting to give accounts of my very recent (luc)adventures, I want to try to keep a little chronology here and start out with some selected (and for me most important) 'lucidventures' of the past. Don't worry, it won't be too many.

    You see, this first post is just the "intro". I will post each 'lucadventure' in a separate post. (First one to follow soon).

    Of course, any comments are very welcome here! Maybe you had similar experiences or you can answer some of the questions, mysteries and problems I write about here. Looking forward to your commentaries here.
    Last edited by CFTraveler; 17th April 2013 at 11:59 AM.
    This collector of useless clutter.

  2. #2

    Re: Volgerle's Lucidiary

    Great intro!

    What happened when you exited three nights in a row?
    You haveeyes each composed of 130 million photoreceptor cells. In each of those cells there’s 100 trillion atoms that’s more than all the stars in the Milky way galaxy.However each atom in each cell in each eye formed in the core of a star billions of years ago and yet here they are today being utilized to capture the energy released from that same process all to expand the consciousness of you. It's ironic in that you are the universe experiencing itself And all you are is a thought.

  3. #3
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    Re: Volgerle's Lucidiary

    Great into, indeed... And I like your journal's title!

    Quote Originally Posted by Volgerle
    Due to a new method (better: strategy with a bundle of measures) which I developed for myself, I now get lucid and can 'project' more often.
    Could you tell us more about this method? Perhaps I (or someone else who happens to read this) could use the same method or slighlty adapt it...

    Quote Originally Posted by Volgerle
    Something about the title: I do not distinguish generally between Lucid Dreams, OBEs (RTZ-projections) and Astral/Mental projections. Even if I tried to make categories, I couldn't do it, it is a fluent continuum and sometimes it is impossible anyway. I differentiate between "normal" dreams (non-lucid adventures) and "lucid adventures". So I have more or less Kurt Leland's approach who also says it is all 'adventures in consciousness' in his newest book.

    So the real dividing line between posting in this sub-forum and in the Dreaming-forum (mostly about programming) is the following criterion: Lucidity, and lucidity alone.
    I'm totally with you (and with Kurt Leland) on that.. I have a hard time figuring out what is what, but I do distinguish different qualities of dreams (or experiences, or adventures in counsciousness). Lucidity is a good criteria, I think

  4. #4

    Re: Volgerle's Lucidiary

    Quote Originally Posted by heliac
    Great intro!
    Thanks.
    Quote Originally Posted by heliac
    What happened when you exited three nights in a row?
    Looking at my notes, I can say that 2 of these events are actually worth mentioning here, and so I will. But as I said above, please bear with me for a while, until I get to write on these. I first want to write on (at least) a few 'landmark lucidventures' of my past, starting this journal thus in chronological order.
    The first experience posted here will be about my very first adventure (as adult, I have a dim childhood memory of a lucid "exit", but it is too vague and thus not worth mentioning here). It is, however, also a bit 'lengthy' again - sorry! - and takes time to write, so again, please bear with me. (I can already say, it is a truly special one, and not only because it was the first one, but due to specific reasons and circumstances it is completely different from the rest of "APs" that followed it - as you will easily see why that is so when I am through with writing it. ...*creates suspense* ... )

    Quote Originally Posted by poème
    Great into, indeed... And I like your journal's title!
    Thanks again.
    Quote Originally Posted by poème
    Quote Originally Posted by Volgerle
    Due to a new method (better: strategy with a bundle of measures) which I developed for myself, I now get lucid and can 'project' more often.
    Could you tell us more about this method? Perhaps I (or someone else who happens to read this) could use the same method or slighlty adapt it...
    Yes, of course, I can do so. I don't know if I will make a post of it here or in the other OBE (Res. & Disc.) thread, as it seems more apt there because it is also about methods. But maybe I will also mention it here instead (it is a bundle of measures, thus a bit more to write, so it takes some time, too).
    This collector of useless clutter.

  5. #5

    Re: 23/Sep/2009: Near Death Experience (Or So)

    23/Sep/2009
    Near Death Experience (Or So)

    This was my first involuntary (as you might have guessed by the title already ) 'lucidventure'. And eventually it is the event that brought me on the path of APing, and - last not least - also brought me here into forums and communities of like-minded people just as this one.

    This event might be categorised by some as a 'classic' OBE taking place within the larger frame of a "kind of" NDE, but not quite, as you will see below.

    In September 2009, I went to the hospital for a necessary rectification of the nasal septum. It is a harmless everyday routine operation done generally for respiratory health improvement (no, it's nothing cosmetic! ). Nevertheless, this surgery demands a full narcosis and the tracheal intubation and mechanical ventilation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tracheal_intubation http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mechanical_ventilation), which means your air system gets paralysed so you don't breathe for yourself anymore.

    I remember the preliminaries well, including being brought into the surgery anteroom and having to wait there, already a bit sedated in the hospital bed. Then a small-talk with the surgeon. Then into the surgery, being lifted onto the table by the staff, getting all the medical gear on your arms and being put to the machines, then s.o. put the breathing mask over my face from behind, telling me to take 1-2 deep breaths, and so was falling asleep after a few seconds. All routine. Business as usual.

    Official medical and scientific theory says that under controlled anasthesia you are supposed to be in 'deep sleep' and only gain consciousness a long time after surgery again in the wake-up/recovery room.

    So much for the theory.

    I gained consciousness. I was lying in a bed. (So far, so good, according to theory...). But it was the bed of my childhood room. So I thought for a few seconds. Then I corrected my mistake after a while. I saw machines, gadgets. Immediately I knew where I was again. I was in the surgery.
    I was not lying on the table. I seemed to be hovering - a bit above my (physical) head, as it seemed. I was at my "head side" but it seemed that I was a bit more lifted, I however don't remember seeing my body at all (I never looked there, though). I saw everything in colours - so vivid, intense, vibrant, warm and lush - colours that I never saw before (and never after, so far!) on Earth. I just looked from the left side (with all the gadgets) to the right where I saw the chief surgeon doing some routine measure on a kind of handlebar (as it seemed, but don't know exactly what it was) next to or at the side of the operating table.

    But there was more: I read his thoughts!

    And even that is not enough to describe it, because maybe I actually "was him" in that short moment, too. I was expressing sth to me - the guy on the table - which I also was - strange, huh?. What "he" "said" was this (not in words or literally - just in a seemingly telepathic expression, an entire instant thought bundle directed towards me, and coming from me alike - yeah, I know how that's weird ... It wasn't words to be heard or even grasped, just information entangled with feeling/emotion. I only paraphrase it here, clad into words, to convey the meaning (emotionally as well as content-related):

    "Hey, everything's alright, chap, don't worry, it worked well and we are ready now."

    But actually, I was far from being worried anyway!

    I was in an UTTER STATE OF BLISS like never before in my life.

    It must somehow be what the mystics talk about. Ultimate well-being, vibrant with life and happiness, it is beyond expression, it is not happiness we experience as humans, not even when drugged (I suppose). The vivid unearthly colours seemed to envigorate (but on the other hand also be an expression of my) permanent joy, too. And one more thing: It felt like home. I cannot express it better. It's this feeling of being home, secure, in the right place at the right time - all as the ultimate expression of happiness. I felt "home" in spite of still receiving the 'visual' input from the surgery. That is bliss. Home. Also Love, of course. But in the end, there was and is no difference between the two for me. Love is Home. Home is Love.

    Unfortunately (for me then) it did not last too long. The whole scene took (in my perception) only a few seconds. Then the situation changed and my perception / consciousness switched to a completely different scene, but still in the surgery.
    The bliss was gone. There was only soberness and neutrality. Nothing negative, but nothing positive either. The colours were gone, too. The picture I saw was blurry, like a big-pixled graphic movie with low resolution. The colours rather dull and neutral.
    And my position was changed. I was hovering a little above but much further away, almost at level with the heads of the medical staff in height, but approx. 6-8 metres off. I would even not discount the fact that I 'saw it all through a wall'. The scene was quite mundane. The surgery team around the table and the chief surgeon bending over towards the patient (me?) and moving something there. Not more, nothing spectacular. No mind-reading, colours, bliss, clear vision ... all gone. This scene also lasted for a few seconds only.

    Then it was over. I was there where I should have been after 'falling asleep', in the wake-up room . I heard a nurse in this room telling me in a loud voice to breathe through my mouth - of course I had to, since the nose was full of stuff (tubes and medical dressing material) from the surgery.

    Comments / Afterthoughts

    A few days later, I got to ask the surgeon if there were complications with my operation. His answer was a predictable no. But he almost became a bit tight-lipped and was suddenly pressed for time when I brought forward the topic of my narcosis. I also had heavy and large bruises on my right arm. Asking nurses and the visiting doctor (1 day after the surgery) about this resulted then in statements such as "this can happen" (possibly from those tightened monitor armbands you get put on, so they told me).

    Anyway, I don't think I was "really" in danger of losing my life, so it was not a 'real' NDE at all, moreover since I did not experience one of the other usual elements (tunnel to another dimension, life review, meeting with angels, relatives etc.).
    However, this marvellous Total-Bliss-Experience indicates to me that it wasn't a "usual AP"-experience either, which I can now in hindsight confirm with some more 'astral experience' gathered in the meantime. I now assume that I could have been in a "higher" spiritual body then. Or probably a guide was with me and giving me this experience of "love" and security, and bliss?

    Another assumption regarding the cause: As you stop breathing for yourself, maybe your subconscious or body/cell/atomic consciousness gets aware of the missing vital activity and you feel like you are dying a "little" or "partial death". That is of course just a wild hypothesis to explain what exactly triggered my out-of-body and mystical experience.

    I also wonder about the 2nd scene so completely different. Was the surgeon already attendig to another patient and I really was 'remote viewing' this (already from the recovery room)?. Or - if it was me on the table - was this scene taking place even before the other one, as it looked like the first scene was the end of the surgery while the second scene seemed to show a surgery still under way. So probably I just remembered / experienced them in reverse order (and what is time in these experiences anyway? ).

    Well, I guess I might have to wait til this lifetime of mine has ended until I receive the final and assured answers to these questions.

    Another interesting thing (in hindsight): the anticipation of my "astral portal": the childhood room that only recently became a kind of "leitmotif" for many of my lucadventures (you will see in following adventures that it pops up again and again). Only until I read my notes again recently, I had almost forgotten that it 'featured' already in this first landmark lucidventure.

    More to come.
    This collector of useless clutter.

  6. #6
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    Re: Volgerle's Lucidiary

    I'm pretty sure it was a legitimate NDE, and he denied it to avoid a lawsuit. I've had surgery a few times, and it's always been a complete loss of 'existence', the only times in my life I've felt it so. Even the last time when I tried to OBE while in surgery- I didn't- the drugs made me 'stop existing' for a time, it's so weird.
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  7. #7
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    Re: Volgerle's Lucidiary

    Quote Originally Posted by CFTraveler
    I'm pretty sure it was a legitimate NDE, and he denied it to avoid a lawsuit. I've had surgery a few times, and it's always been a complete loss of 'existence', the only times in my life I've felt it so.
    I agree. I've had one surgery so far, but it felt the same : a complete void!

    Quote Originally Posted by Volgerle
    I saw everything in colours - so vivid, intense, vibrant, warm and lush - colours that I never saw before (and never after, so far!) on Earth. (...)
    But there was more: I read his thoughts! And even that is not enough to describe it, because maybe I actually "was him" in that short moment, too. (...)
    It wasn't words to be heard or even grasped, just information entangled with feeling/emotion. (...)
    I was in an UTTER STATE OF BLISS like never before in my life. (...)
    Considering this, it's very (very!) likely that you were in a higher state of consciousness. I am no expert, but it seems to me that when one is in a higher state of consciouness, the closer one is to the source, a source of love. This would explain this wonderful feeling you had!
    Also, it seems that the barriers one usually has when experiencing «reality» through a denser body were partly gone in your case : you shared this surgeon's thoughts, and even more, you «felt» you were him. It makes sense to me that this happens when «reality» is experienced through a less dense body that filters less, and has less boundaries between its «self» and the other «selves», therefore, it's like experiencing, partly, what is shared with everyone, what it is like, partly, to be one.

    Quote Originally Posted by Volgerle
    I gained consciousness. I was lying in a bed. (So far, so good, according to theory...). But it was the bed of my childhood room. (...)
    And one more thing: It felt like home. (...)
    The childhood room may have symbolized that you were home, indeed

  8. #8

    Re: Volgerle's Lucidiary

    Quote Originally Posted by CFTraveler
    I'm pretty sure it was a legitimate NDE, and he denied it to avoid a lawsuit.
    Well, could be. I cannot prove anything. Still, (as funny as it might sound now), if it was, I am even a bit grateful to him.
    And after all... he got me back in the end!

    Quote Originally Posted by CFTraveler
    I've had surgery a few times, and it's always been a complete loss of 'existence', the only times in my life I've felt it so. Even the last time when I tried to OBE while in surgery- I didn't- the drugs made me 'stop existing' for a time, it's so weird.
    But how about 'normal' deep sleep? Is it a different feeling for you? I think there I also 'lose' a lot of time which I cannot attribute to anything. However I think I know what you mean. Even if we slept a long and dreamless sleep we have the feeling that time has passed, and it not so with complete anesthesia. I can confirm this! Except for the 'mystic/NDE interlude' described above, I cannot assert any feeling or concept of time passed between the moment I got the breathing mask put on my face and the moment of waking up in the recovery room.

    I still don't (like to) think that we can even ever "lose" existence, I think it's just the memory of the experience of the time passed. I think that events and states such of "un"consciousness due to traumatic accidents, narcosis, coma or the near-death of our bodies cause our higher mind to "leave the focus and/or body" completely and to reunite with our higher self or dwell in higher realms (and why shouldn't we? There's nothing else to "do" after all ). When we then "get back" (wake up) again, it is because for us "no time" has passed, since in higher regions there is no (Earth) time. We do a kind of 'time leap' then, because we as consciousness really weren't "here now" for the time interval, just our body, so we leave at point A and come back at point B to 'resume our life work' after the molecular body engine 'starts up' again (similar thing with sleep, possibly).

    Just theory, makes sense?
    This collector of useless clutter.

  9. #9

    Re: Volgerle's Lucidiary

    Quote Originally Posted by poème
    Quote Originally Posted by Volgerle
    I saw everything in colours - so vivid, intense, vibrant, warm and lush - colours that I never saw before (and never after, so far!) on Earth. (...) But there was more: I read his thoughts! And even that is not enough to describe it, because maybe I actually "was him" in that short moment, too. (...) It wasn't words to be heard or even grasped, just information entangled with feeling/emotion. (...) I was in an UTTER STATE OF BLISS like never before in my life. (...)
    Considering this, it's very (very!) likely that you were in a higher state of consciousness. I am no expert, but it seems to me that when one is in a higher state of consciouness, the closer one is to the source, a source of love. This would explain this wonderful feeling you had!
    Also, it seems that the barriers one usually has when experiencing «reality» through a denser body were partly gone in your case : you shared this surgeon's thoughts, and even more, you «felt» you were him. It makes sense to me that this happens when «reality» is experienced through a less dense body that filters less, and has less boundaries between its «self» and the other «selves», therefore, it's like experiencing, partly, what is shared with everyone, what it is like, partly, to be one.
    I wonder WHAT kind of body (according to e.g. Yogic or Theosophic theory it could have been) that was with such 'abilties'. It still must be a body that is able to "manifest" on the physical/astral plane (as I still - and only - saw the surgery). Causal, buddhic? I would like to ask Kurt Leland about his view on this but it seems he is no longer in this forum now. He also talked about bliss-experience in higher bodies, but he (and the Theosophists) says that the higher of them not usually "worked on" or "went down" to the lower planes.
    This collector of useless clutter.

  10. #10
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    Re: Volgerle's Lucidiary

    He comes and goes. If you want to catch his eye just send him a pm.
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