Last night dream was a confirmation about what I already know.....My relationship to my mother was never there, I did never cry as an infant and my mother did only feed me and keep me clean, and when I did not cry she never thought I needed nearness....so when I turned 40 I did divorce my second husband and started to see why I was so afraid of women nearness, and I thought that I might be lesbian...so I did take contact with people who was homosexual and I stayed 4 years with them....I did found out that I was not homosexual....

Last night dream did confirm what I had discovered.....the dream was like this....I was approached by a very beautiful women, I asked her if she was lesbian, and she said no...I tried to kiss her but her lips was stiff...I kissed her chest...and it was not a bit arousing ...and I felt that it was the female nearness it was about lacking in my life....so we did stop this sexual act and only embraced each other.....

In this sequence I was looking at some strange bits of crystal plates...it was my sons...and I was surprised that he did know how to use them....I noticed that this area what he did know so well was total unknown to me....