IA´s dream diary....

[IA56]

Thank you, and bless you too....always in all ways....

[IA56]

Last night I did dream that I was sitting in a emploiment interview....I did feel I got the job...but I did not have any clue what kind of job it was...first I went out of the room where the boss was sitting ....but because I did not know what kind of job it was I did knock on the door and I did open it before he said ...yes.....he was occupied on the phone he showed that wait with his hand...now I asked...what kind of firm is this...what do you do?..Now I remembered that I ought to know I did apply for a work here in this company...but I did not remember...imbaressing....now we where on the move and I was little bit worried if I should go with them...so I did...one women showed me a drawing...and I said...I do not draw...but I paint...now she gave me a manuscript...I did become more perplex than ever...
The other seckvenses are only fragment´s so I do not write about them...

I was most surpriced that I did have so little controll over my life...this is a very good dream to me...I have to focus more and start to get more check-up over my own want in life....this show´s me that I still go on programmed mind and not my own will...I have not yet conquered back my own self.....Now I understand more...the difference between own will and to what extent it is possible...and submissioned by my upbringing and forced to become someone I am not....I hope I can keep this hunch of knowing so I can start to develop my own genuine me.

This is what the existence have tried to lern me...but I have not understood it so I have let the submissioning happend...the submissioning is on higher plan...not here on earth...Here we have to learn to protect our self....oh my.....

[IA56]

When I grew up I often said to my parent´s...I am not allowed to do that or this....My parent´s reacted very strongly and said...We are your parent´s if we say you can do it you can...but I responded ...No I am not allowed...and my parent´s went on until I did...and this did confuse me so much during my childhood, because I couldn´t explain why I was not allowed...but it was as simple as it is...doing thing´s what harmes physically or mentally....physically...smoking and drinking...mentally...not telling the truth, learn to lie and not telling as thing´s happens or are....I feel happy to make the connection now....and to re-connect to source at last feel´s great....

CFT...Here is the answere for your question..why it is a problem for me...because of the collision/crash between my parent´s teaching´s and the existence teaching´s....It was hard to have different oppinion than my parent´s, and the brainwashing part to do against better knowing....did split me and made me loose soul fragment´s ...ALL is forgiven I know that I did confuse my parent´s and my relative´s....I feel blessed now when I see why it did make my life so complicated when being so different than my inviroment acting was...(I have asked my parent´s if they remember what they have said to me when I was I child but they get angry and claimes not ever have said anything negative or making me like drink or do against my will..I know that to forget thing´s you do is normal, I have also done this but the existence is there to remind me and give me flaschbacks of my doing´s...and I am happy for this, I am not allowed to forget anything bad or good of my doing´s so all has to be worked on and understood for future and for my development, I am not anymore allowed to fall to sleep or to amnesia, I thank ALL for this) .I know I have improved many peoples life by trying my best to be my self...but before I did dare to become more me....I started to live sober life when I was 33 yrs old...and my first drink I had to take I was 13 yrs old...I stop smoking 2003....and the last part to dare to say....I need to do energy work....and not to let go of it...is july 2012...Now I dare to be my self....Period!!

[Pneumismatic]

Now I dare to be my self....Period!!

Good for you IA! I can almost feel the rush you're feeling! That encourages me.

[IA56]

Thank you Pneumismatic, that´s for sure...I feel euforic
Might sound strange but to dare to say out loud how much I have tried to be accepted and doing against better knowing, is shameful for me, but I am totally honest when saying....I really wanted to listen and obey, and it did come out so sick and in my confused state of mind I was not able to filter that why I had also so to behave as the rest of the "pack" it was too dangerous to lighten up the dysfuntionalitty so that the grown-ups did even protect predators as pedofils and made me feel I was weak when I did not just suck it up and shut the ♥♥♥♥ up talking about it.....So by this writing I will leave the past to be past...I now have clear picture of it, and now I stay in the NOW and start to consentrate on the energy work...Thank you for letting me be open and letting me talk straight and forward...Now is new time here.....Healing has taken place. Humbled thank to all!!

[IA56]

Last night I dreamt that I got my old stuff back...clothes and my first appartments curtains...does this mean I have got back my lost soul parts??

[Pneumismatic]

There's the goal. Please see the newwest page of Volgerle's lucidary. You said it, IA.

[IA56]

Nice ...Pneumismatic!

I feel very bright and clear that when I now have good hunch of my past...cause and effect....this has come to me by vertical knowing...now starts the horisontell knowing...from the dream the curtains when I did use them I use them vertical...now they had placed a white fabric over my curtains and hung them horisontell and there was hooks left...and it was said...they have had it in a very high building ...I got the picture of a very high spaced room...The clothes was also from very young age...late teanages...this means for me...my juvenying spirit and bodily health is returning.....and I at last dare to be ME...

[Pneumismatic]

I am so happy for U! That one is a great vison! Now that you have a better understanding lof your dreams, you'll be able to help people along. Time for a celebration! Soon, your hands will hold what they're searching for!

[IA56]

I am so happy for U! That one is a great vison! Now that you have a better understanding lof your dreams, you'll be able to help people along. Time for a celebration! Soon, your hands will hold what they're searching for!

Thank you Pneumimatic!
I do not really undertand what you are saying by..."you´ll be able to help people along"??
As I understand I can only help my self...am I wrong here??
The saying....Help your self and the GOD will help you??!!