Thank you again CFT. I have pr?♥nted out the essay and I will read it and comment on it later, thank´s...As I feel spontanious without even reading it that I know all about this but have forgotten and had to be re-mindedOriginally Posted by CFTraveler
Yes CFT, I know all about this Golden Key, off course. And I have forgotten also to use WRAPPING what Robert Bruce have taught ....to relese my pain...I have only done raising energy through my feet and hand´s, but to wrap and to tourch and to pour the strengthen the place where the pain is...my pain is coming from the bones what is damaged in several way,s...musculus what is tensed is making all injuries in my body to acke, but if I remember to both relax in my body more often and to wrap with healing bandage ...that is to do my part....when I forgot to do my part then the pain is there to re-mind me...I think I will remember this now...Thank you CFT again.....to give me back my Golden Key
Religion is telling the good rules to get your self in order to stop living in abusive way against you ....the most maltreatment is one´s own bad thinking of self....God/The ALL/IT/...or what ever you name the infinity or life it self....is there always if you let it IN to your life...BUT...Religion can also box in and I am happy I got throug the religions roof into the infinity where the real thing is...
When I let infinity in my life I felt free for the first time ...and this happened very early in my life ...and this was not conssious before I become rather old...I have had a very deep deep faith and this is my essence.
I do forget often but a quick re-minder and I remember it again, so thank´s and I do need this re-minders often.
Last night I only remember a dialog with my bf....he asked me if I am going to ask doctor about my tiredness, yes I answered I will.
Then I meditated about my lost parts and how I will recognize them if I meet them ....I was shown the little child in pyjamas, and now I do understand how to reconect them to me, or help them to grow and off course invite them back to me.
I will be whole again, thank you all for being there I will never forget this, and I am not able to thank you all enough, Thank you from deepest of my heart and essence. Bless you all.
Last night I did dream that a ex boyfriend did come and ask if we could start to be togeather again, No I said, I have a bf already, then he said, please contact me if it breaks and ends between you and your bf.
He was the bus driver on my bus, and it was a very long bus, I noticed him driving at wrong direction, so I started to walk from the back of the bus to tell him he is driving at wrong direction, he said, he will only to make an small tour and will drive at my location eventually, I did accept this, now he wants me to find in a note book for something, I do not remember it now what it was but it was not there, I told him someone has ripped the page away...now in the front seat was an English talking little girl, she was pissed off and trying to put me down by saying I smell bad, I knew it was not true so I did let her go on knowing she had the problem not me....I got off the bus and now it was winter and rather dark like night, I was walking in the snow and did found a railway road and saw number 9 in the railway road side, I was told it was navigating marks, I said, how on earth will they from a airoplane see these small numers, but I was told they did see them, maybe it did glow or something to be seen from abow...I continued my walk and now the ex bf was driving a boat in the snow or ice, it was like somekind of viking ship...it was near to hit me, and I did see it pass me in very high speed...here the dream did end.
When I told my bf about this dream this morning he become jellous, and went to work in anger saying...continue to live in your dreams you sure does not want to live with me ...I am sad today, how to tackle this??
Last night I dreamt that I was looking at my self from the outside, and I could see that I had peed on me....I tried to smell the urine but did not smell anything...but I started to look for a shower and new cloadings but did not find....
Last night I had for the first time an experience feeling 3 aspects of my self....I was the mother holding the child and the child was watching and following the witness or maybe the higher self and I felt I was all these separate parts, it did not happen more than that I become total aware of these 3 parts of my self.....I feel bracing and stimulating this experience.
I have had many dreams but nothing I can remember more than small fragments, like my sons father who is no longer with us here come in one dream but I do not remember more. But today when I was taking a nap I did see in my dream a person fall down from a balcony and I saw him/her fall over a fence and it did not look good, I started to run down the staires and when I arrived to the yard the ambulance was already there, I did stare at the face and asked, do you want me to come with you to the hospital, he did only stare at me, and I asked again, then the ambulance man said...IA he is broken....and now I noticed it was only the head and it was parted from the body....and I was thinking about the mans saying...he is broken, not dead...then I noticed it was a robot??
WoW what an informative night....I was able to watch me from several levels...and I also could see the "animal" part in me what I am so afraid of....it went like this....I was in an inviroment with several dog´s...my 2 dog´s are that kind of dogs what easerly fight, so I had to put them into my house to keep the peace with the other peoples dogs, I could handle them though but I was so unsure I could handle my 2 dogs and keep them calm so I did put them indoors so I could socialize with the other dogs....wow
Now I feel I can do something about my inner fear, I have face it and have seen it, before it was only a blure fear, now when it has materialized in shape of dogs I can start to handle it, when I did not have any picture I was not able to understand it eighder, now it is easier, off course it can transforme to other shaps too but I think it will now be easier to grasp.
Last night I did see my self in a mirror and I was so surprised to see what color my hair had.....white with gold strips....it was beautiful
Last night I had several angry dreams, or dreams where I was angry....we where my bf and me to my relatives, my bf asked me to give my usb stick to him, I went angry and did not want him to plug it in to my relatives computor, he tried to over talk me saying that they have printer, so my bf tried to take it against my will because he though he knew what is best for me.....now I did see that they did celebrate my fathers birthday without me....I did accept it...now we went to bed and I put my clothed on a chaire and put my night dress on me...next morning I wanted to leave but did not find my clothes so I went angry again...I did go to kitchen and my sister where there I said to her...can we stop this fars and playing...now she did look very sad, and I felt that she did not feel as I did....I tried to find my clothes but all the time they escaped me, now they did say to me that I now can eat as much as I want of the cake, and it was as I knew they did celebrate without me, so I said No thank´s.....and went to serch for my clothes....I asked if there was more houses I could look in. ...and I was showed new direction and new houses ...I went into a house and it was some kind of kinky store with leather and lack clothes...I was looking at one women who bougth 3 bodies of leather....I went to next house but all the time it escaped me and I did not find so I gave up.....
I had little of a panic feeling in the whole dream.....
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