wow. I love my dogs too. sometimes they drive ya to derision. most of the time they lead you to a better you. we almost lost our ole zen dog, border collie, last year to heat stroke. we cried like babies, me and my wife. that fella would bust his heart to do his best for us, he's so personable and emotable. he broke my heart this past winter, we had the dogs in the garage and he was just too overwhelmed, and as I was scolding another dog, in his nevousness he bit me on the left hand, it was quick. the ole hillbilly in me wanted to end him right there on the spot, but the new me just walked off and let my wife difuse the situation. took me a solid week to get over that, and him too. but when we came back together, we were the better from it. forgiveness, ya know...

truth is, that i got this border collie during a time of great heart break and anguish, wasnt fair to him, but he kept me busy loving the puppy that he was, and he kept me from the terrible thoughts of wanting to destroy myself. i reckon that because that's who i was then, that he as a puppy was definately formed around that old me. unlike me, he seems kinda set in that old patterning. he reads my moods like yesterdays newspaper. I dont always like what he shows me in the moment, but he helps me reshift the best i can from whereever i've slipped to.

yeah, i guess that's how it's supposed to be.