I've been reading the very reccomended "Mindfulness in plain English" and it really speaks to me, however I seem to have a problem not mentioned in the book. Now let me preface this by saying all my life I've been a very visual learner, so abstract concepts like breath are difficult for me to wrap my mind around since i cant see it, but vissipana is suppose to be everyone, so I'd like to think it'll work even for me despite my difficult time with non visual learning. The first meditations I did worked well because it allowed me to visualize things and it sucked me in, but I am having a really hard time with Vissipana.

I dont have much a problem concentrating, when my mind wanders sometimes, I can readily see it and get it back to breathing but the thing is I cant find my natural breath. Whenever I try to concentrate on it, it becomes manual and labored or I stop breathing altogether until I take a breath myself. The book and indeed meditation information on the whole seems to make finding your breath easy which makes me frustrated as I cant help but wonder if I have some issue that makes Vissipana more difficult for me then it should be.

Thanks for any help on this, as gentle as Vissipana might be, Im starting to think the only thing that'll push me to pure awareness is Zen Meditation despite how tough Bhante says it is, at least I can work with impossible problems (This happens alot in science).