Just another perspective from someone who has been there and done that.

I've been involved in romantic relationships (including engagements and marriages) for the past, oh, 34 years or so. Some of them ended badly. Some of them changed me profoundly. Some of them, when they ended, felt like some part of my heart had been ripped out and taken away. I remember very clearly that "pain in the soul" feeling. Some of them, even years after the fact, still make me feel a little bit sad by the way they ended (and some of them make me wonder why I began them at all).

At this point, though, I regret nothing, not even the pain and sorrow. All of those experiences, good, bad, and indifferent, contributed to the person I am now, and I really like her, I like being her. Without the broken hearts and the pain and the joy and the love and the sorrow and everything else, I wouldn't be me. I might still be someone I liked being.... or I might not.

My point is: Even very painful loss can have a positive effect in the long run. I'm not saying that losing someone you love is a good thing, or that it's not painful. I'm saying that even painful loss can (and usually does) contribute to growth and to shaping you into a bigger, better, person. Most of all, pain and loss give you a greater appreciation for and a greater capacity for joy, gratitude, and love.

I've been with my husband for a long time now. We started our relationship as friends, and at the time I was involved in one of those not-so-great relationships I mentioned. Had I met my husband when I was younger, I wouldn't have appreciated him, or how good he is for me, or how good we are together, because I just wouldn't have had the experience and the wisdom to recognise it. These days, in addition to being in love and enjoying his company and all those things, I have a very deep satisfaction in the relationship itself, in how well-suited we are, in how comfortable we are with each other. I never would have had this depth of joy and appreciation in this relationship if not for all the previous "education" in the area of relationships.

So, yes, it hurts to lose someone you love. It really does. And it can feel like you've lost a piece of your soul, and maybe you kind of do, I don't know. But that loss creates an empty place that can increase your ability to love, your capacity for joy. Let the pain be what it is, and embrace it, because pain is part of life, and loss is part of life, but more because it will ease, and heal, you will grow because of it.

EDIT: There are no coincidences! Yesterday, I had a migraine headache. I won't go into all of the details, but I will say that migraine headaches are rare for me. This one was a doozy, too, very painful, acute sensitivity to light and sound, and other unpleasant symptoms associated with a migraine. Today, after a really good night's sleep, the headache and all symptoms of it are gone, and -- here's the point of this story -- I feel amazingly grateful, and happier than I have in a while (not that I'm generally unhappy, but today I feel very happy, indeed). Having endured the pain and related discomfort, I have a very sharp basis of comparison. Today, the mere fact that I do NOT have a headache just fills me with joy.

This is what pain can do for you, if you allow it to happen. It can also turn you bitter and angry (I went through years of that, too), but if you embrace it, and accept it, and allow it to be what it must, when it recedes, you may find you're much more capable of joy, gratitude, happiness, love... Pain is not pleasant, and I'm never going to pretend that it is, but it can be miraculous in its ability to shape us and help us grow.