Nursing babies

[susan]

For the record another bad night. Yesterday through the day had one of my most peaceful days. Even stuck to water, fruit and vegetables for body. If anything I would expect a peaceful non eventful sleep.

1) someone massive is trying to catch us. We are on a plane trying to close the door on time. He now opens the window which is layered, he takes it off and another one underneath.

2) I'm faced flat against the inside of a bus window as it goes round corners. I'm frightened it will tip.

3) someone with a cartoon witch like face ( ugly) is being interviewed suspected to be an imposter.

Now I can understand the stories because.
1) spent yesterday cleaning the glass to a disassembled green house with loads of glass. ( can not wait to get it up)
2) Much glass again and tipping over from a bus is one of my old fears from days of travelling in a bus.
3) My quiet reminder in the back of my mind that this ' Infinate Father' could have been misleading and something to forget.mayebe mischievous spirit.

So the topics I can understand but they were frightening. I don't know why especially after the kind of day I had.

[eyeoneblack]

Reads like a 'threshold' dream. The ' cartoon witch' is an imposter; i.e. take off the mask and her beauty will be revealed. The 'green house', though real life, is a wonderful metaphor of care-given growth.

I think I'll build a greenhouse a grow a special cactus. Oh, probably not.

[susan]

Oh probably DO Richard. The, pleasure I get from growing seeds into plants I can not describe. Out of all the tomato plants grown from seed my most treasured are the cucumber plants that didn't take. So in exasperation I poured boiling water over the soil . ( your going to seed !!! Even if I have to kill you in the process) they are 2 inches high with 4 leaves. But the most precious of all is the tiny single chilli plant. Thought was dead. Roots disturbed. Attentive care with water , soil over roots , sun, it has two new tiny leaves only 1/4 centimetre long but it is growing.
For anyone reading this thinking ' What on earth has this got to do with this OBE site?.
I feel , if you can not feel the passion in witnessing some form of growth , then look for it. Look for something that gives you pleasure and can you expand on it and see the progress?
Just had to say

[eyeoneblack]

Beautiful, Susan. The metaphor of a caring growth is universal to most any pursuit. BTW I thought peppers were nigh incorrigible. Like they grow like weeds in the nastiest conditions. I must be a chilli pepper myself, ha ha. Drought, flood, wind and hail, I'll come back and that's pretty..... you know.

[susan]

Been doing bit of homework on Kurt Leland's perception and understanding of different types of dreams and where we are in dream .
( Dreaming research forum)
The problem I have is becoming lucid in the dream . So many OBEs and remembered dreams that may have had no relevance to anything going on in my physical life , but I think the most convincing recalled dream where I think spirit were encouraging me to wake up was the other nights dream.
Dream.
Standing at a bus stop and someone approaches me and tells me to wait at this stop as a bus is coming this way soon.
He waits with me.
Bus arrives and the bus driver tells me I don't have to pay. But the driver had the ugliest face heavily painted in green.( this was the first time I saw a witch type face. ) It was so ugly it was funny. In the dream as I go to my seat I think. " why does he look he's in fancy dress" his face turns and watches me as I take my seat.
All the occupants of the bus arrive at this building after the bus takes a very fast sharp corner.
Everyone gets off and goes into the building but I'm not allowed in. I haven't got a ticket. I hear a young girl just inside upset because she doesn't know her father. Friends console her and one says " I have a picture of my brother you can have it."
( I can understand that bit due to a previous experience recorded here. )
As I sit outside the scenery turns to snow that I hadn't noticed before and from the building comes.........
ROUND BALLS the size of humans. They were laughing and bouncing down hill in the snow. as soon as I saw them I got an image of young boys rolling out of a pub just having a laugh. Next someone fully kitted in a space suit comes hopping along in the snow.( I perceived him as another one of the young happy drunks. They all shout to me as they roll down the hill laughing and tell me I should join them. I remember sitting on the bench thinking that they were having so much fun and I seemed to be working out at the time that I was meant to perceive them as they were just for a bit of fun.( but this was all remembered as a dream . )
I feel sure this was an attempt to help me wake up. Just didn't work but lovely to recall. Quite happy when woke up.

This dream seems to resemble what Kurt Leland describes as ' After the Fact lucidity'
Also at the beginning of the dream when I was walking to the bus stop this was my physical home setting ( which he suggests may be your own dream space) When we arrived at the destination on the bus after a sharp corner the setting changed to new territory unknown to me .( this may have been the switch from my own space to the astral) ....................or not.

[susan]

Got a shock this am .
Woke 4 am. No recall of dream. Little energy raising but soon fell asleep.
Dreamt was walking onto my conservatory in real life and could see my neighbour in his garden . I sat down with a paper and looked up from it , when my neighbour is sitting right in front of me smiling. My recalled thoughts were that he shouldn't be there, he was in his garden a second ago. This gave me such a shock that I woke up with a start and felt the electric shock tingle right through my body.

[susan]

I need to understand more about our selves. I feel I need to read more . I can not get enough reading but there are not enough hours in the day for that and work and energy work. Everything in physical is as I would want it . Would not want to change a thing ( apart from maybe living on a beach with my greenhouse at the side) .
So why aren't I content? Why am I frustrated at the lack of time to understand more.
All my astral travel experiences visiting other realities were experienced well before this journal started. Everything in the last two years has seemed to be planned rather than explored by me.
One vision that I didn't record still has me thinking .( approx 6 weeks ago)
One morning with no recall of dream saw upon wakening ,
The singer Madonna in a black trouser suite. Behind her were two young children . One was a girl of about 4 years of age and the other was a boy of the same age and they were wearing the same trouser suite. They were holding hands and smiling and were going to kiss but they both had what appeared like white paper stuffed in their mouths so they couldn't. ( maybe they couldn't talk) . I just don't know .

[susan]

Can only remember the last part to a dream and think it's related to what I posted above but will record for journal.
Dream
I was in a class where someone was struggling.( well that's not a surprise) .
We went into another room where the bed was not made. She dropped to the floor as if no energy.( aha light bulb moment whilst writing this) I picked her up from the floor and supported her. We went to the window where people had come to sing Christmas carols. She collapsed again to the floor. I picked her up and she was so floppy. We were up a level and were looking down on them through the window. She didn't have the energy to go down to the door to answer it in time so they left. I could hear them singing.
I was holding her and told her that I wouldn't leave her. I will always be with her. In the dream as I woke up I could feel the cuddle I gave her .
Woke up approx 5 am from this did little energy work but really cozy.... Just sleep......
Woke up to seeing a picture of pastel colours, then another picture of same colours but took different shape. Then another picture with same colours but different pattern. Now I hear the click from a camera many times and I see one picture that has all the pictures made up to the one picture. I was being asked a question . What do you see? In my mind I replied " all the pictures made into one."

Now I'm not stupid this is relevant to what is going on with me in my thoughts . But there is an inner intelligence that does not show through in physical that seems to be speaking to me in my dreams.

[susan]

I want to bring this forward as I try to have a better understanding from my own experiences.
This was recorded 6 years ago when it was all kicking off.

20/05/2014
(Page 26)
.......I need to understand more about our selves.

21/05/2014
(Page 26 )

Can only remember the last part to a dream and think it's related to what I posted above but will record for journal.
Dream
Woke up approx 5 am from this did little energy work but really cozy.... Just sleep......
Woke up to seeing a picture of pastel colours, then another picture of same colours but took different shape. Then another picture with same colours but different pattern. Now I hear the click from a camera many times and I see one picture that has all the pictures made up to the one picture. I was being asked a question . What do you see? In my mind I replied " all the pictures made into one."

Now I'm not stupid this is relevant to what is going on with me in my thoughts . But there is an inner intelligence that does not show through in physical that seems to be speaking to me in my dreams.

8/02/2020
Page
“The Personality Retires.”

[susan]

Wow, well had another experience that I can not forget. Not sure how to describe this.
OBE. Lucid dream? Simulation? I don't know but what I can say is that all day I have been going over and over it in my mind and I can not forget it until I write it down. If this was just a dream then why does it leave such an impact on me .
Will record the lead up this ,then the experience .
But I need to do some homework on this one as there are similarities appearing and Kurt's writing may guide me into understanding more so will at a later date add to this post my feelings .
( feel I've been here before with the space station in space)
Here goes.

Lead up to this.
Sunday morning woke up to " it isn't Wednesday yet"
Monday morning remembered a dream where I'm on a beach on holiday and there's only two days left till I go home.
Wednesday morning remembered a dream similar to others recorded here about entering a plane at the back. Was told it was full so I could try the middle section for a seat but the partition was closed so I had to leave the plane to get to the middle seating area. The doors closed I couldn't get back on.
But on recalling this dream it seemed to be a tease. As if I was being teased about flying or not.

Wednesday night settled down to nights sleep after a days work , one glass of wine with dinner , early night. Slept till 2.35.
Little energy work when feet and legs started to tingle. Could feel the energy travelling up to my knees. Carried on till energy got stronger and legs got lighter and lighter and now I'm up and above body. No astral noise, no vibrations.raising high. No vision at this stage but could feel movement along and to the right.
I knew an OBE was in progress and could now see as if I'm flitting fast through a dimly lit ground floor of a department store.
Next thing I'm floating to the ground and someone is behind me.
This is like a really large cafeteria. Full of people, so many standing and sitting round large round tables , but the first thing I noticed were the people at the front at the food section. They were not earth humans. Almost like something out of Star Trek.( had this before) We went over to the middle of the room where there was a large table with empty seats and a few people sitting round it. As we approached a woman at the table showed me where to sit and says. " So you wanted to meet us. You've arrived". A lady in her early 30s approached to talk to her and as she did I was assessing the situation, that I'd OBEd and was here in a room with people who looked like me and people who took on different non human like features.this lady was petite, human form but her facial features were different in that her chin was much longer which seemed strange.
A suggestion was made that we went over to the end of the room where there was a massive window. I did and this was the incredible thing . It was like looking down onto a massive stadium full of people and we were above this. Next thing we are down in the crowd and it's massive. Nothing like I've experienced before , thousands of people. They were having a great time. As I followed who I was with I noticed they were walking so I wondered why , so decided to skim the floor and float. Yes this worked. ( so why did they walk when they could have floated? ) Was thinking this at the time and wondered if this was protocol they followed ( remembered previous obe)
As we were going on to the massive stage with thousands of people on ( there was an entertainer in the middle doing the music people were dancing to) ...............things faded and I must have gone to sleep.
Woke up trying to make sense of this. It was 5.30 am. Asked for assistance here in understanding what this had been, a dream of no relevance? An OBE, to where? A simulation for my attention , but meaning what? ( needed help here before I analysed in day time. )

Picked up me taking things out of a locker in a changing room, talking to a girl who was just arriving and she was stuffing things into a locker. She tells me the teacher is lovely with everyone. Felt this was a changing room.
Had similar before.
Must do some homework on this one as there are similarities from previous experiences but a complete surprise. Certainly nothing to do with anything like this on my mind at the time.

All day I've felt frustrated. Something lovely there that I would like to revisit and be part of again.