Nursing babies

[susan]

Just to update how things are.
Still have not eaten any red meat. Surprised how there are so many other alternatives, and in fact just as enjoyable. Loosing weight also ( part of this I believe is cutting down on bread also)

Sorry but today have decided to delete the rest of this post.
Reason.... I need to stay focused , positive and grounded.

[susan]

I had an experience early this morning that I had decided not to record on the journal. This was a very important event for me but had me thinking just how far do we go before the warning signs start that have us wondering if we are are hallucinating . Everything has been so exciting and ' other dimensional' and in fact linking up. I believe everything so far that I have written , because what seemed weird to someone who read for the first time would actually make sense eventually to complete some kind of story.
So , before writing this I will remind myself of the time standing in someone's room where her placemats were mystical with someone sitting on top of a fish and flying in the air. This helped me feel that what I was experiencing may not be the same but was just as crazy. ( but the mats are sold world wide and acceptable)
Am I going crazy ? No! Throughout the day I hold down a very respectable caring self employed profession which gives me the opportunity to interact with many beautiful minded people.
Am I hallucinating? I don't know! If I am when did it start because my experiences have linked to a story which could take days or a few months to link in to a greater meaning.
IA, this is because you feel we should not censor what we get.

OBE.
After the last OBE and feeling I had failed in running away at the hint of a challenge the next couple of days I felt so abandoned. I seem to now know when spirit are around.Normal dreams to do with family life ( the above deleted ) Early hours I picked up " all I can do is lift you and the rest is up to you. '23rd ' and I saw this written in metallic blue.
Early this morning, rested, bathroom, little energy work but had set the alarm for 7.30 for work. Feet, could feel the tingling. Little brow work , silenced, trance, now the engine noise, not too loud . Pleased at this so focused on noise( I don't think I was specially focusing on the brow area) Raised up with astral engine type noise.after so far I remember the rest is up to me, so I tried to zoom up with force to get to the stars but if anything I carried along in the same direction which was sideways.
It gets lighter and now in front of me I see 3 giant chairs facing a wall. These were dentist chairs. Now I'm in one of these dentist chairs and I just know this is a test of fear.I can still hear the loud astral engine type noise but now I can hear the dentists drill. My chair is turned round with absolutely no request of mine but I was prepared .
"I said as it turned " okay okay, I know you cann't hurt me so just go away" . As I said that I saw a giant spaceman with a helmet on and a massive drill . He disappeared . Back to body. End of.
Back to sleep picked up
A post man delivering me a parcel.
Being told I had stayed till the end and only one left to do .
Saw a double decker bus and a famous personality ( Jeremy clarkson and his other half) on the top of an open double decker bus as it goes down a 180degree angle and they show all you have to do is crawl down like this as they crawl down the front of the bus. 26th)
So what I'm posting here is something I would have rather not. But have just read Robert's Catch Basket link' and we have to leave behind our beliefs and go with what we experience.
so I experienced this!
I feel if I had posted that I had had a battle with a devil and a sword fight with a warrior this may be more accepted as mystical.
I feel I need to finish with one last thought.
What we experience is related to our believes.
If you follow the mystical pathway and fairies, angels , dragons, etc etc, than when being tested you may encounter an experience involving these types of figures, and see this as a mystical challenge .
As I don't go down that route my challenge has been of ordinary everyday life. ( the dentist chair, the double decker bus)
But I still finish with at what point do I realise I may be hallucinating? Simply because this isn't like mystical tests but real life tests but not during normal physical wakening consciousness.

[susan]

Dream this am
I wake up to the song ....' The sun always shines in rainbow valley'.
I see myself propping up the washing line with the prop whilst two people pass me to go into the house.
I think this was a different dream.
I'm collecting young children and take them to a big house. A friend is with me and she has done the same.
There's something about my sandals and they are causing me to take my time in reaching the house. Difficulty in walking in them . As I'm now thereI ask where the rest of the family is . I'm told they have gone to the park. Do I want to go there? "

[eyeoneblack]

Imagination is ground central in the astral plane. It is what we imagine that, with enough investment, precipitates into the material world of our daily experience. Robert Bruce, among others, is a shepherd of our imaginations and can have good and productive influence on the underground aspirations of our imaginations. And so, imagination, by virtue of its binding connection with our subconscious, brings the worldly unseen and unknowable to our consciousness and enlightens our world view often to the benefit of our peace of mind and well-being.

The lucid dreamer is always awake, always interpreting - and- like you, Susan, encountering possibilities and that only imagination can present. You imagine and you create. It's not just a good idea, it's the Law.

[susan]

Woke up to " I'VE GOT MY EYES ON YOU".
recalled dream.
I take a seat at the front of the class and the teacher gives me a thin newspaper. I have to answer two questions but I have to read the paper to find the questions.
( this person had no identity to remember. Just female, therefor I don't associate this with a teacher as I've done in the past so may have been just my dream mind.)
However I started to wonder why I picked up the first bit about the eyes. Decided to look into brow and silence mind. Nothing.so back to sleep.
Between 6.30-9.30 in and out of consciousness each time waking up to hearing a song being sung. Feel as though I've had a lot of different topics covered. One was seeing my hand being handcuffed. ( been over spending again and promised myself I would cut down, specially after the symbol of the tiny white purse flashed up as a symbol and was told treasures are found within a few weeks ago.( Infinate Father) ) also I picked up again that I have to re-read the paper to find the questions.
The last song I woke up to was ,
" CANNT TAKE MY EYES OFF YOU, YOUR LIKE HEAVEN TO TOUCH....bla bla bla....
As I heard this I wondered what time it was as I could hear traffic outside. Decided I was out of time to try anything, time to get up when I picked up ". BUT I AM TIME".

So having written this all down I'm drawn towards the beginning and end. Both the song ,and the first bit is about being watched.
Cann't take my eyes off you and I've got my eye on you.
I think these two comments were the answer to my thoughts.
Yesterday was thinking of having a barbecue and it was very tempting the idea of having some lamb or steak. Going on holiday soon and my thoughts went to the temptation ahead also with the meat. I actually wondered if I did have just a little bit if it would be noticed. Whether I would get away with it ( stupid I know) and wondered if spirit would acknowledge this possible failure. My overspending also could refer to this.
Definitely feel everything remembered had a female presence so the words of the song at the end are irrelevant I think.

[susan]

3 different experiences within 1 hour. I'm trying to stay cool about this but so much in such a short time.

1) Remote viewing.
2) OBE.
3) Picture ( past life again I think)

Yesterday through day did just 45 mins meditation. During this time decided not to do any music , just silence mind and making my ratatouille. Hadn't done for a while but there is plenty of colour practice here.
Slept till 4am . Back to sleep. No dream recall at this stage.

Picture.
Woke up quite suddenly from a dream but before I had time to recall it a picture flashed up so quickly. This was a young man about 16-18 years old in black and white period costume with beautiful long curly,blonde hair falling onto the shoulders.This was like a picture as he was posing. I recognised him straight away as the same boy I wrote about ( page 4, 19/3/13) previously but back then he was only about 10-11 years old and previously I viewed this after leaving body and like a hologram looking down a long tunnel.
I know this was him by the beautiful long curly hair. The difference here was that this looked like his own hair. I felt this looked a little thinner and softer and more natural but still long and curly. This was round the time I was getting past lives.
Have just done a google search and around the 1780 time the younger men were starting to powder their own hair and do away with wigs.

Remote viewing.
Checked clock. 6.30 am. After the thoughts about this settled to just stare into the brow and silence mind. After short period of time could see clouds swirling around tried to focus hard and saw an outline of my face. Focused and waited then suddenly colour.
I was looking at the top of someone's head. Full colour. I saw little black bits and knew exactly what I was looking at.
My son who lives abroad had had a hair transplant done about 5months ago as he lost his hair early in life and I'd seen what it looked like on Skype. I was able to view all around the head and see how the hair was slowly coming. I could see down as far as just above the eyebrows but couldn't go further down even though I tried. Ended abruptly. Awake.
I had no feeling of having left body this time andI think this may be the first time I have Remote Viewed ( viewing but still being aware of being in physical body) unless I've forgotten a previous. I put no thought prior to this of visiting him. To be honest I feel a little uncomfortable that I have invaded his privacy. I think he was asleep in bed.

OBE.
Settled really happy at what had happened, turned in bed and settled down. Tried to stare into brow and silence mind when very quickly I'm now floating above body. Knew I was out this time with no vibrations and no astral noise. Rose up slightly then to the right then downwards slowly. Everything was light but nothing to see. I'm still travelling sideways then realise now I'm floating sideways submerged in water. I could hear the ripple of water .I knew straight away this was testing my reaction. Everything was clean looking , and could see images of tiny bubbles( I know there wouldn't really be air ) I just went with the flow still travelling sideways. For a second I decided to play with this and just see what it would be like to try to breath under water. I pretended to breath and it worked. ( once again I know we don't breath in astral but I made a game of it. )
Suddenly the water is gone and full colour sets in .
I'm standing behind a very small aircraft with a door open. In front of this was a bright red double decker bus parked right at the end of a HARBOUR. I felt myself moving forwards. I was up for it but suddenly my time was up and back to body and awake.

I was really up for this and so disappointed it ended but so thrilled at everything within such a short period of time.
Is the bus next? I don't know.
So far I've had
1) falling fast from the sky
2) plummeting underground.
3) submerged under water. ( had previous dreams recorded where I'm submerged under a puddle and friends pull me out but I was comfortable with this as I was under the mud).
4) the giant spaceman with the giant drill.
Am I going to be facing challenges of possible astral fears as well as astral challenges of physical life fears? Looks like it.

Last point I want to record is why is a spaceman ( space woman?) making appearances, wearing a space helmet ?

Recorded 3x.
1) the time when I sensed the big round balls as young lads rolling out of the pub and then the spaceman comes out by himself hopping and felt I was being encouraged to join them in having fun.
2) the more serious time when I felt I may have been viewing a library with statues coming alive as I entered because a spaceman had left the door unlocked.
3) the giant spaceman with the giant drill .
Could this be someone assisting me or maybe just representing something ?

Reflecting on this I wonder if I experienced all 3 different events because of the recent post that I hadn't wanted to write as it just seemed so crazy.
Taking away any negative doubts which is important?


After thoughts.
When I remote viewed I could only see as far as just above the eyebrows. Even though I felt afterwards a bit guilty that I had invaded his privacy and that he was asleep I think this was just an assumption due to the time factor .

[susan]

Another OBE this morning with assistance and I know this was once again specifically for me rather than just landing in the middle of a busy astral. So I'll label it again as a simulation.
First, very disappointed when went to bed. Why was I urged to open up to my husband? I wish I hadn't told him a thing. He pushed me into why had I given up meat so I took this opportunity and told him of a few things where I think he felt sorry for me and just said that people dream and when they read things and go on the Internet they think it's all real. He's not ready yet but I think he feels sorry for me. Once again I wish I had kept this to myself.
Damage done so went to bed wondering if this was true. Why not put it to the test? Carry on with energy work but don't send out requests, don't hope for anything, try to Not Believe. It's all a load of made up dreams!
Didn't last long, OBE with assistance.
Approximately 5am. Little feet circling settled focused looking into brow.didn't send out any requests, just stayed still and silent and looked. Eventually felt lighter and slightly above body but still not fully out. If anything I would have expected something to appear in the third eye but nothing. Tried to pull up when I felt a hand on my ankle. I knew I was being pulled out. At the same time I was remembering having read a topic on this site about being pulled out . I've had arms try to lift me before,been grabbed by the ankles and thrown away from my body before once out, but was this a co-incidence? that I'm experiencing this days after reading this?
My feet could feel the astral arm and it had bangles on. I'm thinking at the time " she's wearing jewellery" , she has a bangle on.Someone is helping me out and they have jewellery on. ( I still didn't click at that stage) .Im travelling upwards slowly, no astral noise, no vibrations when lightness sets in. Bit fuzzy at first then slowly I'm just above the ground in a light large area but it leads to another area ( room) but with no doors. The ceiling is low and as I turn around to look I'm saying to myself " nothing will harm me! Nothing will harm me! I expected some kind of test, and was prepared but it wasn't. A girl appeared and came up to me and said " hello" I heard the voice speak to me. She left and another girl came up to me and said hello. As she smiled she seemed similar to the girl I saw in my bathroom who spoke to me. She was wearing black again and was petite. They left and as I looked around I felt this looked a bit like a cave but a bright one this time.
( I recalled whilst standing my memory of the cave where the men came out with horses heads that I couldn't understand and was told at the time not to forget that these were my friends. Then of course there was the cave recently with the colourful lights where I went through them underground into a cave and fled with fear. )
No one was around now so I moved towards an exit without a door but I realised I wasn't going to be tested or chased and this was my chance to explore . As I got to the entrance another girl came up and called me by my name. She seemed nice. I felt warmth from her. She asked if I was any good at roundabouts, ? Junctions? It was something to do with roads but cann't at this stage remember exactly which it was. She asks me if I would like to wait over there and shows me to some chairs in the corner of the room . I felt I was to wait for something/ someone. There was a double row of flat heavily jewelled hats. ( Arabic? Indian?)
That was it. Ended. Once again I didn't think of body, was just waiting and it ended.

Thoughts.
......I didn't seem to speak to anyone. They spoke to me.
.....The cave is certainly a meeting point for a few meetings. Harry potter type dream plus the ones just mentioned.
.... I don't know if these were spirit or just created for this experience as they were friendly enough but the only feeling I
got of warmth was from the girl at the end, but I just don't know about this.
..... I expected something of a challenge and was prepared but did not create anything with my mind.
..... The experience was not at all as I would have expected. If anything I would have expected to see a red double decker
bus.

THE BANGLE.
It has taken me a few hours at work till I think I got it.
I am currently wearing a Pandora Bracelet which I have had for a while but only recently took charms off and have turned it into my MYSTICAL EXPERIENCES bangle. I have a snowflake charm, a gold and silver Christmas tree,a small purse. As I experience events if there is a charm related I intend to add it so I will never forget my experiences as long as I wear this bracelet. I have it on every day.
This reminds me of the OBE where I saw an astral hand holding my arm wearing my old wedding ring. At the time I was sure and still am that this was a way of letting me know this was part of what I belong to helping me and now I think this is why I felt the bangle on the wrist by my astral foot as it was being helped out.
So my husband put doubt in my mind about all of this. Thank you. I think once again this event was important to re- establish faith.

[susan]

Struggling a bit with the concepts as to the fact that I don't believe in God as a person therefore for a few weeks I'd been thinking that if god is in all of us but it isn't a person but just an energy of love , then why the flip shouldn't I eat meat..
Tonight I'm thinking in the direction of evolution.
Read a short chapter today from Robert Munroes book that discussed the animal and man.
Looking at this from a different perspective.
If we did evolve from animal brain to human brain then experiences on earth plane here was the training school.We may believe we are here to experience therefore to evolve. So we should also believe that any living organism should also be here to experience and evolve. ( don't authors write that everything in spirit is energy including plants? And I experienced it with a mushroom once in astral ..)
Therefore your not killing or eating a part of god but cutting short the experience that this animal has to help with its evolution.
So I make this choice as I would wish to help my neighbour.( chickens have further to go so am still eating them)
I know it's obvious here what I'm doing but I need to understand the ' why' without the God as a person.

[susan]

Woke up to singing again, very fast and jazzy, went something like " what's the matter with your own home here ?"
A couple of dreams just to do with physical life and my wishes but in one it's the colour that was beautiful on the bird.
Dream.
I'm walking along a long beach with someone which is lined by a very high sandy cliff. People are trying to crawl up to the top but keep sliding down. This is happening all along the stretch of the coast by many people but there are very large birds( the size of chickens) that are managing to run up in front of the people and make it to the top.
One of these birds is now in front of me and whoever I was with at the bottom. I notice a small area on the front of the bird and the colours are beautiful. They were like colours from a peacock but just in a small area. Beautiful, almost metallic.
Thoughts.
I see this as attempting to reach/ experience higher realms and the wish to perceive the beauty I've witnessed in the past but on very rare occasions.
Back to sleep. Upon wakening saw another beautiful coloured bird on top of my garden swing flash up quickly. Once again the beauty of the colour. Bright red covering the whole of it's back.


Having read the previous posts above I'm a little alarmed just how many times I'm using the term ' I know'. Could lead to following wrong assumptions, it's just that at the time I just feel ' I know' so must try to loose this and leave room for other possibilities.

[susan]

Unfortunately all day at work I've been thinking of the position of the beautiful metallic colours on that small area of the bird that looked like a chicken.
Just done a google search and unfortunately the beautiful colours were in the position of the chicken' s heart area.
There has mostly been good humour in whatever I pick up but .NO NO NO !