Nursing babies

[susan]

WOW! Woke up wanting to shout this out loud. Had just entered a page of a book and was in the page.

Prior to this.
Very grounded through day. Much chopping of bushes . Very productive day and happy with it so early hours of the morning when woke up did little energy work but my heart wasn't in it. Kept stopping and mind wandered to the work in physical . Feeling good about plans for the coming week.
I just had this feeling I may be on a rest period ( I always get this feeling when I get nothing for a couple of days) silly but that's the way it is.
Before going to sleep was just thinking to myself that I want to re-read Robert Monroe's ' Ultimate Journey.' I don't need any new books , I need to re-read books to get a better understanding. I want to get back out there in amongst the stars. So much seems planned ( which is great) but I was feeling I would love to be back up there just flying around seeing the beauty.
As I dozed off I thought I picked up .... ' RENDEZVOUS' .
Woke up after a decent sleep with the 'WOW.
The only recall I have is I'm sitting down with a book on my lap ( but my lap didn't necessarily look solid physical)
The book is open and the pages are splayed out like the top of an opened fan. However the pages were not paper but were like solid plastic. It stops to show two pages ( just like an opened book) . On the right hand side I see my son when he was younger in a Newcastle United football shirt with a football ( I have this photo when he was about 11)
On the left page as I look it's a field and it gets bigger and bigger taking up my whole vision and suddenly It's real and I'm standing in the field as a football is kicked ,from my right, high up into the sky and suddenly I've taken off and am following the ball into the sky. I was thinking at the time WOW!! I recall the feeling of zooming so high, fast behind the ball.
Woke up. This was a feeling of going up rather than the drop when entering back in body.

THOUGHTS.

Yes , going up to the stars is what I wanted but this wasn't reaching the stars. I've had a football kicked before where I strongly felt that this for me was a goal to reach. As I understand our interpretations are individual and personal then I understand this to mean that this is my goal, to aim for.
Back to the book....
Previously( page 13, 17/9/13) during I believe to be relating to past life I was given a book where I opened it and it just told a story. I was prompted to open and the story would continue.
This was different in the sense that it was a book that opened and I entered it with my goal.

( I've read about books in the astral by an author but cann't remember who by).

[susan]

Didn't try anything through the night or morning but woke up watching a spinning disc in the forehead again. This time it seemed to take ages to stop almost like a fan slowing down, but my dream .
Dream.
I had 2 separate dreams about queen Elizabeth and a dog. In one dream I was in the grounds walking with her when a dog ( she loves her corgis) came running past. I went to catch it, I grabbed the collar which came off so the dog came back running up to me . It was beautiful and big. I loved this dog. There was so much love coming from the dogs eyes. I just felt a strong connection to it.
1 more dream with the the queen and a boy who was her son

[susan]

Today something has happened that has upset me and I just want to record it even though it isn't OBE but part of my journal in a spiritual way.
Spent the day working in my usual Dimentia care home where a loyal visiting husband, brought his wife for treatment to my room.
She had not been in a good mood today but he had got round her and she agreed to come. As he waited at the doorway he could hear what I was saying as I was facing him but NOT what she was saying.
He passed a quiet comment suggesting that he was reaching the final point where he felt he was going to crack and couldn't take much more.
She couldn't hear this.
A few minutes after having a conversation with her in French to the best of my ability ( as for some reason she was in the French mode today, apparently she used to be sent over there as an ambassador ) she had , I believe , focused so much in the translating her thoughts from English to French that she was able to control what she said in English.
She said... " I love my husband so much you know. Sometimes I think I love him too much" .
He didn't hear that.
I asked her if she had told him that and she said "no". I asked her why not and she just shook her head and said " No, well I don't like to". As I gave her a goodbye hug I suggested he might want to hear this and it would be a nice thing to tell him. She nodded.
I saw them walk away and I heard their conversation . She didn't tell him. He left a few minutes later with his head down .
I should have told him.
I've written before about making that chance contact with the eyes, well today it was having her concentrate on a language enough that she had a few moments of lucidity with complete openness but the person who needed to hear this didn't.
I wish now I had told him.

[LPCF]

Oh, Susan, how difficult! To share (without permission) or not to share? I suppose your professional ethics told you that a confidence should not be passed on, even if it is a good one. But probably your conscience said otherwise....

Maybe it is not too late to tell him, perhaps next time he comes? But you know the situation and must do what your inner conscience tells you is right.

As for the lady not telling her husband, she may have forgotten straight away, given her condition, or perhaps the British "stiff upper lip" about not discussing deep love just got in the way.....

[susan]

For the last 3 mornings when recallng dreams they have been of the sort I would feel embarrassed to write about but nothing to do with male/ female intimacy . In fact I was pleased to read on a post where one member told of times where he was directed not to reveal what he had experienced.. I got this message 3 times over a period of certain dreams. Could this be an advance suggestion to suggest that what I posted could sound and be interpreted differently to what the true nature of its purpose was.?
What I will add for the journal though is that this morning in between sleep I picked up a view of a sheet of writing .
On the top was a heading ....... LOVE
On the bottom where you would sign your name it read ........YOUR ALWAYS WELCOME.

( I think I've subconsciously decided that I'm on a rest overindulgence till after my holidays

OMG OMG it's happened again!!!! This is brilliant I just love it!!!!
I should have written just then " I'm on a rest period till after my holidays" !!!""
How the heck did the word overindulgence get written by mistake??? The thing is I know exactly what it means.
I cann't believe what I've just written. This is the second time something like this has happened.
To any one reading this if you think this is made up please just stop reading . For me.... Love you spirit world, please keep working with me.
I have to go over this and ' rest period ' is definitely what I keyed in. There is no way the locality of the keys for' overindulgence ' are anywhere near rest period. The thing is I decided to have one extra small glass of wine tonight and I've had company and had a lot of pastry . Everything today has been overindulgence and I knew it.

I really thought there would be no-more connection till after holidays ( 6 weeks) after a dream where this period was mentioned and I have to admit that when I feel any doubt of being connected I am re-assured. Just love it!
What I wrote was what my subconscious was thinking but what I thought at the time of writing was what my conscious thoughts were. My subconscious took over my conscious .
Remembering a previous ... I want to take over your ...
Just love the connection

[susan]

Dream.
First I woke up to a tinny kind of voice speaking but I wasn't lucid enough to take in what was said. I only remembered the last bit where it said " I'm sure you can handle it" .So will forget that bit.

Short dream,
I'm bathing a baby with a sponge and soap and water lying on it's back with its legs and arms splayed out as they do.
Next thing I'm feeding it pieces of chicken. Not much chicken left just a small leg but as I go to feed it the baby has turned into a small chicken but I'm not surprised at this and as I put the raw piece of chicken to the baby chicken's mouth I realise the chicken's shape has turned into the same shape of the piece of leg I'm feeding it. In the dream I stop to think about this.I am feeding it one of its own species.

Thoughts
This is connected with my reluctance to give up eating chicken. Not ready for this yet.

Dream.
I'm sitting on a chair in an empty room. All the furniture has been taken away. Someone speaks and once again I wake up just when the speaking is going on and it was something like. " as the body is emptied the house is cleared and moves on."
Another short dream.
I'm in a hotel where a really handsome man in a suit is standing behind a counter leading to the ladies toilet. I decide he's a boss of some sort and is waiting for someone to come and assist him with something so take it upon myself to go over to him to assist. He wants to inspect the toilets. I suggest I check to see there are no women in first. There aren't so as we go in he looks around and seems satisfied so I follow him out where he talks about changes to be made over the corridor.by now I'm listening to what he's saying and he's pointing to the rest area and the canteen. He's talking about plans to take the canteen away. This surprised me and he rushes ahead of me to leave and changes into a short frumpy old woman. Still in the dream this has surprised me , his change in appearance, and tell my friends what had just happened and that they were going to loose the canteen.

Thoughts.
I really seem to be having an internal battle starting with chicken now, but in physical I'm NOT ready yet and have no intention of giving this up.

Final dream.
I'm standing around a circular table in a hotel again with friends around. The table has just one box in the middle of the table. Someone opens the box and an announcement comes from it and it seems to be loud and heard by everyone .
My full name Susan ... ...... is announced and I am formerly invited to a weekend retreat to a FARM! ( I felt my friends had clubbed together to send me away for a surprise birthday present) . The announcement continued as the full list of christian and surnames were read out. At this point I woke up still listening to the list of names.
Then as I am aware I've woken up and listening to names I see a symbol of a burning flame.

Thoughts.
1) Am I causing my own internal battle with eating chicken because in physical I don't currently have a probelm with it but in the dream state I seem to ?
2) the names that just reeled off. I wish I could remember even one of them. ( over the last year or so I have been feeling the need to know Who Am I.? The many episodes with the heavily painted witch type face that came to a conclusion of AKEO. Since that conclusion there have been no more episodes with the witch. Message understood- move on?
Since then I've now been wishing I could remember just something from the past . Were these names of importance? If so I've forgotten all.
3) There seems to be a subtle Invitation being suggested.
25/7/14. Being asked if I wanted to join the rest of the family in the park.
The sheet of paper signed with 'Your always welcome'
Or just wishful thinking.

[susan]

In dreams I'm still aware of someone in the distance observing.
Also a tinny sounding voice is coming through, almost mechanical.

Dream.

A very short scene where I'm standing with a friend( someone I know in physical,) who is standing on the edge of a slight drop down to a stream. She is holding a baby. I warn her to be careful she may drop the baby. She doesn't listen to me and drops the baby by accident. As she retrieves the baby I feel annoyance that she didn't listen to what I told her. She starts to show her frustration at my reaction but immediately my thoughts change direction and the anger has gone and I feel how she must be feeling. I tell her " no I'm not angry with you . I can understand how you must be feeling. You must be feeling awful."
So immediately my thoughts went from annoyance to understanding and sympathy.
I was aware the whole time of someone a short distance away on the other side of the stream just observing .
( I wonder if he/she?( had trousers on) put the thoughts into my dreaming mind so I would see the correct way to react to situations?)
Compassion seems to be the thought here.
2nd Dream.
I'm with a group of people( didn't get the feeling of friends this time) behind a gate. There's a crowd of people on the other side of the gate and one man stands out from the crowd and holds out his arm as I approach. He gives me a bundle of small objects I can hold in the palm of my hand. He says " Here's your honey". As I walk away from him there is a small container the size of a big key ring and I tilt my head backwards raising the container in the air above my open mouth and let the contents flow into my mouth.
End of dream.
Thoughts.
I cann't find anything on the Internet with reference to drinking honey in this manner. The reason I searched was because I believe I was taken back (earlier in the journal ) to a storage room with steps leading up to the hot dessert where jars of honey were stored hanging on hooks on the wall. Was told then how it would last for thousands of years. ( later found this last part to be true. Page 11 17/8/13. )This was the time I was getting pyramids and dessert and the river Nile, and having a strong feeling of being banished from the land and leaving a woman I loved behind.


Yesterday so many short dreams with group of friends. Just before wakening up I heard a tinny voice again, almost a computerised ,mechanical type voice.I heard it announce ." Enough has been shown. Stop now." Immediately my whole vision is taken up with a bright orange / red circle.

Looking at this first one again I wonder if this could be to do with my stubbornness to give up chicken, to listen. I hope not.

[susan]

I feel a little silly writing this but how many times have I written something that I felt would be laughed at . However for the last week or two I have memories of short flashes of seeing my hand with my fingers chopped off. I didn't write about this but was trying to work out what it could mean . It was repeated so knew I didn't get it. I find I'm getting overly sensitive to responses to anything that involves my input. Even after posting on this site I feel a dread when logging in just incase. Now this isn't normal and please anyone continue as normal I need to toughen up.( I think it's just a phase I'm going through)
So had decided to the finger chopping bit may be suggesting times that I may regret posting something.

Tonight I took a different twist to this. Have just switched off the telly and am on my own so wondered if I could repeat the two occasions where I have been posting but a different message was written to the one I thought I was writing.
At the times I recalled the suggestion a few pages back where I thought automatic writing may be on the cards.
So closed my eyes and with 2 fingers just went with it .
It was rubbish ...... Tried again with one finger this time ...... It was rubbish.
Finally , I sent out a request that ok I've got it wrong, you can have a laugh on me up there but please give me one last chance to see if I can make some kind of contact.
Closed eyes .. This is what I wrote.

Vbnjh. Vegan veg vg change go.

Even the spaces between the words were in the right, places.
Anyone following my battle with giving up chicken will understand.

[IA56]

Hi Susan,

I do totally undertand your feelings of fear of being laught at....and also fear of others reactions to my writings, so I totally unerstand.
I did see this as the ego/soul battle...ego´s death fear...and today I know it was that....ego does never win, it does not exist at all...and even the try to convinse that body has any value but as a comminications device and will be still here after I go home...I am eternal, ego is only invented as a good and temperary teacher...and a damn good one

Love
ia

[LPCF]

I understand you, Susan. Fascinating about the writing. The subconscious (HS, soul, whatever) is trying to tell you something, I feel. The path of compassion is not an easy one to follow, but I never regretted it. Blessings to you!