Nursing babies

[susan]

I wish I could draw but have no artistic skills. Saw a lovely scene upon wakening but this was blurry .
Everything was white as if within the sky. A very large image of Jesus in robes stood facing me but directly behind him were 2 massive white wings. The wings were not part of him but positioned on either side behind him stuck seperatly into the White ground so the tips of the wings were pointed upwards. They were positioned seperatly so from a distance they looked as if Jesus was the body of the wings.
Above his head coming from the sky was a long white pole positioned verticaly.

I don't know if I could have seen this published, don't remember but is the kind of scene that stays with you.

[susan]

3.20am.
I've just seen a dark haired Highland Terrier dog floating in black space wearing a red tartan kilt, a red tartan hat holding a pair of bagpipes!
It couldn't be any more opposite to the last post.
Recalled dream but had nothing to do with this. Okay so this was amusing and strange. Visit to bathroom.Tried to stay awake looking into brow to see if I could pick anything up but fell asleep.

5.30am
Woke up to the vision of seeing a fresh faced ginger freckled, ginger haired young man just grinning at me.
No dream recalled. I've seen him a few times. I'm sure the ginger hair represents me. Always a boy.The face is similar to previously seen . I must look in the journal and see what circumstances are related to seeing this boy. Will add to this post when do the check.
So awake thinking about this and found them both amusing I slipped back into a very light sleep just in that receptive state.
The dream that followed has cleared my mind in something that I want to do in two years time but I was getting dreams suggesting I would be very brave to do this.
I now completely understand. It isn't out of my reach but I I'm sure I understand now the implications.
Thank you!
If I have understood correctly then this topic will probably not be brought up again. It's my decision to make and I understand possible complications and stress that could follow.

Back now to the dog in space.
I had hoped to be able to stay awake this week-end to try to have a projection but I've had such a grounding day gardening, planting strawberries, loved it. Two Robins following me around to get the insects where I'm digging. I just wanted to sleep. So, I saw the dog in space. All my side of the family originate from and still are living in Scotland.There is humour in both images. The boy with my colour hair was grinning at me.
What followed after was some important information in a dream for me.

Will add to this later when I've done some searching on this red haired boy.

[susan]

Searched the journal using key words and found the relevant posts but I realise I'm just going over old ground.
I've already wondered the same thing but by doing this it has highlighted the fun I've had Since this all started. There was so much fun but recently since the cleaning up of body and mind I feel things have changed to a slightly more serious theme.
So for my own indulgence I'm going to group what I found together here in the journal but first I want to write a reminder of Robert Munroe's words I wrote 22/5/2011.

" Every beam of light was one of me, one of my I There personalities complete with different life experiences."He talks of communicating with them. They had their own personalities that spoke to him at the time and discovering the times they had shone through him to help in tasks required if they had the necessary skills to help him.
So our past personalities aid us through our life, communicating with us in our sleep, thoughts in our waking life.
Robert Munroe was a pioneer in his time giving us access to his experiences and discoveries helping us to understand what is going on within our own spiritual experiences.

Where I say OBE these are consciously enduced without loss of awareness.
I'll start with.

17/12/12
Recorded page 11 . 15/8/13
OBE delivered as a baby on to a veranda with child's furniture and asked.
" Haven't you ever been to a boys Kindergarten before?"

9/02/13
Very first post of journal the beautiful boy with my colour hair whom I loved from the bottom of my heart.He was recalled as shimmering/ translucent my colour hair.

19/03/2013
OBE .Hologram 11 year old boy blonde curly long wig wearing period costume.( around time when I thought I was being shown past lives.)

Page 11. 13/08/2013
Woke up to ringing of an old fashioned telephone . Awake, thought out Okay you've got my attention"
Then a quick flash of a young boy about 11-15 yrs old . I'd seen him before- very innocent and gentle looking. Wondered at the time if be was me, should I know him?

Page 14. 03/10/13
Dreampt of an OBE.
A young man with red hair once again looks directly at me. Physical appearance. Choir music in the background, . I'm dancing with someone and an arm appears as if giving communion .

Page 31. 28/07/14
Same young boy from 19/03/13 but about 16-18 yrs af age now. He had the long blonde curly shoulder length hair and in black and white period costume but this time the hair was natural not a wig.
Around 1780s they did away with the wigs. Time period matches the period costumes.

And then finally the above post.
It's nice for me to have a bit of humour back.
Now if I was to search out the times I've had the theme Black and White....... .

[susan]

Picked up an image of Jesus standing infront of a high red brick wall. The wall was higher than him, and the words ' The red brick wall will lead you home'.

Why does everything have to come in a riddle?

I need time to work on this as all I can think of is Elton's song Yellow Brick Road, and The wizard of Oz that the song was taken from, both being yellow.
I need to think what red means to me and what's out there on the net.
Will get back.

[susan]

[QUOTE=susan;140005]Picked up an image of Jesus standing infront of a high red brick wall. The wall was higher than him, and the words ' The red brick wall will lead you home'.

Why does everything have to come in a riddle?

Okay had time to think and I think could be more than one interpretation .

I saw an image of Jesus!
A red brick wall, home.

Previous day spent much time trying to work out a way I could retire before state pension kicks in. Pen and paper came out and the only option I could see would be to sell my father's house I rent out but my problem was this would not be a popular decision with others. I just cannt see any other way .

I had also spent a long time watching a guru on utube and dissapointed that in a very gentle manner he would make fun of the questions put to him and I was feeling gentle arrogance. I've thought this before that some who are looked upon as Enlightened have people hanging on to their every word which I feel is wrong. We need to find out for ourselves but somethings missing. I feel lost sometimes.

So could the image of Jesus be a little thought to follow the teachings from Jesus rather than enlightened gurus who know it all.

The red brick wall will lead me home. It was a wall not a road so I think whizzard of Ozz is out.
Or could it be multi meaning. Also I noted how high the wall was. It was much higher than Jesus.
Maybe that selling the house ( red bricks that would look high when standing infront of)will be the answer .
However just as a twist I've found tucked away in the I pad cover a leaflet I'd forgotten about.The whole front cover is a high red brick wall with someone standing infront of it with a sign of my house postcode on it. It's the post code lottery.
Riddle after riddle.
I should be so lucky, NOT! ( however no harm in trying but am 99% that the sale of the house is the direction this image was suggesting)

[susan]

Think one of four short dreams just may have been some kind of teaching dream.
I'm sitting in the aisle seat of an airplane and someone ( teacher) is standing infront of everybody facing us and tells us all to look ahead.
The cockpit door is open and we can see the clouds through the cockpit window from where we are. As the instruction is to look others get up in the aisle to look but I stay seated. I had thought we were coming into land and they should have kept their seatbelt on but the teacher just encouraged them to look ahead.
We weren't landing and the sight was amazing to see the nose of the aircraft cut through the white puffy clouds outside. I still felt the amazement as I woke.

This may be my problem currently of focusing in the brow. I'm not still enough and keep changing my mind after a few minutes to start trying to visualise something.
I wonder if this was related to the scene where someone was axing through a blackboard making geometric patterns at the same time. He was cutting through to the other side of a blackboard?.

[susan]

Just want to note here for reference.
Just slowly wakening from a dream and going through the process of recalling this which was just to do with daily life when....
Image of news flash on top of I pad as it pops up across the top and thought

" Jesus around 200 killed".

There was no image with this other than I pad.
Also just noting the thought word Jesus was not thought as we may say in astonishment to something. Just 4 words thought out with no emotion involved.

Also previously early morning heard myself say " Have you met the light?" "I am the light."
( probe just self talk within a dream)

[susan]

Yesterday had been a day from hell. It had started with me picking up as soon as I woke

" Today is going to be a very special day ."

Then I analysed a dream which had involved me with a child crossings a road to watch a parade passing. They were the Queen's men infront of the carriage in the distance.They had a long line like a rope that extended to the carriage and it was their job to keep it straight. A piece infront of me got bent. The young boy with me put his head underneath the rope and commented that his head was upside down.The rope was straightened with their rod and the procession carried on. End of dream.

So my thoughts were that the queen has been used 2-3 times and reference always seems to be someone high up very important and I link it to higher self. Could be wrong but that's how I think of a queen.
Couldn't understand the rope but message from higher self or someone that today was going to be a very special day.
My day was in one of the care homes. Full of my lovely adorable cuddly elderly people.

Within 10 mins of arriving I had an elderly gentleman shouting at me because I wouldn't do something . Then he wanted me to fasten his slipper that was a slip on slipper. I was useless, selfish and uncaring.
Rescued by a carer who attended to him.

But hey, it didn't matter because today was going to be a special day!
( could I be going to see someone's aura, hear clairaudiently while working?)

An hour later a lady who was being held by two carers got angry with me because I must have hurt her. She screamed, lashed out and threw all my instruments on the floor.

But it didn't matter because today was going to be a special day!

I walked a lady slowly back to the lounge. So slow almost stop. She held onto the handrail for support all the way back. We stopped at a teddy bear that had been placed on the rail but it was upside down so the face was under the rail. I had to wait and wait and wait whilst she tried to turn it back the right way. ( this reminded me of the above piece about the young boy I was with who put his head under the rope and was upside down) But I quickly dismissed this thought because this was nothing about patience and understanding and everything that comes with compassion and all the things we try to achieve. No !

Because today was going to be a special day and I had expectations of my own.

By the end of the day I was exhausted, frustrated, fed up, hadn't had a single hug or smile. Everyone was so high dependency and in a mood. I was pleased that I hadn't just packed up and gone home , pleased that I hadn't shown my annoyance but dissapointed that all day my thoughts had been that I wanted to pack up and no body appreciated what I was doing for them. Even one lady turned round and smiled and thanked the carer. I was the bad guy .I hadn't had any nice surprise that could be classed as special.

I should have remembered that things come in riddles. I feel I was tested to the limit here and on the outside I held my composure and showed all the patience and compassion but failed miserably with my thoughts.

Found this on the site posted 8 years ago. Published by Robert.
I think it is an excellent article to keep on hand and be reminded of.


More from Koala on the enlightenment process*



The process of enlightenment started at an early age for me.* I was fortunate to have a mother who nurtured the habit of self-reflection as apposed to blame and self-justification and deflection.* If I was in a tough situation, I needed to ask how I contributed to it, or even why I had attracted it into my life.

At first, it is annoying.** You want to come home and vent about a bully at school, but then your mother starts talking about the household conditions that create bullies and how lucky I am not to have to live in the horrible conditions in which they often live.

If I would argue that they did not have it so bad, she would take another route, asking why I would take to heart what a wounded person would say to me.* She forced me to think at every turn and never allowed me to cheap out or blame. I say blame is cheap because it requires no insight, no strength of character.* It is the way of anger and resentment, which is cheap in that it avoids all responsibility and self growth, and is hence costly.* Anger consumes valuable life energy.

Initiation is a process whereby one is challenged and tested by life, and by spirit. This can provide a new spiritual beginning. It is like being reborn to a new spiritual life.

All roads lead to this. The wowness that permeates the New Age movement is often derided as something distasteful and unspiritual and naïve. But these things all eventually lead to spiritual paths of growth. This is impossible to avoid.

Enlightenment is a process where you reclaim your energies.* Many people are unaware of the energy they waste on judgment, criticism of self and others, anger and resentment, and other negative stuff.* Significant shifts in your energy body occur during enlightenment.* These shifts in energy signal you are ready for Initiation.* These things can be said to ‘trigger’ initiation.

My mother did me a great service, preventing me from being hard on others, but she could not hear how hard I was on my self, and thus could not correct this.* That was my job. But first I had to become aware of how hard I was being on myself, and how I was allowing others to use this flaw to manipulate me. This continued to shape my life for many years to come.

For me, the process of enlightenment started in earnest with the clock exercise.* This is a Hermetic training exercise, from Franz Bardon’s classic book ‘Initiation Into Hermetics’. I would sit and stare at the tip of a second hand on a clock.* As long as my eyes remained sharply focused on the tip I had a clear mind, but the moment thoughts entered my mind my vision blurred.* Our thoughts do that....they blur our ability to see and perceive clearly. They get in the way.

After a year of doing this exercise three times a day, every day I was able to reach ten minutes with no thoughts entering my mind.* But this process also made me keenly aware of all my thoughts when I was not doing the exercise.* I realized that while I prided myself on not being judgmental, I was EXTREMELY judgmental of my self.** This allowed people to continue to manipulate me and control me, sometimes in very unhealthy ways.* In time, as this realization of self grew, and suffering did its work, I started breaking free and regaining my energies. When I reached a tipping point, this triggered my initiation.

There is so much people do not understand about initiation:

1) It is just a start - as in the key word initial...beginning

2) It will occur whether there is a teacher or not. Remember, life is the great teacher. And, there is always suffering…the default teacher of all.

3) A positive initiation that moves you towards a higher state, as opposed to a lower state (the dark path) requires much housecleaning. You must be willing to face and process many of your fears, shame, guilt, imperfections, mistakes and other baggage.* Without this initial work, initiation could cause instability. You cannot fool your higher self into thinking that you are ready if you are not. And your higher self is the one in charge of creating an initiation process.* This may or may not attract a spiritual teacher or outside help in any form.

4) There are many levels of initiation, and many ways it can unfold.* Each initiation occurs when the time is right for the person involved.*** But the first level has a common thread.* Facing your fears.* This initiation will depend on what your worst fears are.* Fear devours vast amounts of energy.* Facing them starts to dissolve blockages, freeing up energy for higher purposes.

5) Initiation can be short: from hours to weeks - rarely longer. Much longer than this and the intensity of initiation could leave the psyche crushed.* The duration seems to depend on how much baggage needs to be processed, and what level of spiritual growth is involved. The visions, illusions and dream tests we might face during initiation need to be clearly understood as illusions. These things will involve facing fears and highlighting areas that need attention.

The best approach is to learn from each part and then let it go – wring the truth and the learning from experiences, then let it go.* They are often abstract, metaphorical, requiring some interpretation and thought.

Dreams convey messages and teachings.* It is the mind that wants a type written literal letter. The mind often misinterprets these things.

It is your intuition and gut instinct that will get you through these things. You need to start trusting more than just your mind. You need to trust your authentic feelings.

6) You will never be the same energetically after an initiation. Significant energy blockages and attachments break up during initiation.* Over the months that follow, more blockages break up and more attachments drop away. This can be uncomfortable at times.

7) Your associations will likely shift.* If you went through an initiation at the fear based level....sometimes called the Trial by Fire...and by far the scariest initiation, you will move away from fear based people.* Partly because you will no longer allow your self to be manipulated by people who use fear to control.

You can be initiated through several levels at once. Initiation is hugely variable.

During my experience, I was initiated through the first three levels at once. This lasted an agonizing 14 days.* The problem with going through so much in one shot is that you undergo such a dramatic shift that it can leave those around you disoriented, not to mention yourself.* Suddenly, people that were manipulating you with fear, guilt, lack, ego, and self esteem, are shocked that you no longer react in the same way.** Or, if you were the type that was a controller, you stop manipulating and using these methods. This results in the same confusion, as you are different and other people have trouble coping with and understanding the new you.

Controlling types usually end up with people with low self esteem who want or subconsciously need to be controlled.* They will feel a void that they may or may not be able to deal with.* The larger the shift, the less likely a bridge will occur to enable current relationships to continue.

Koala.

[susan]

This morning as I woke I saw a drawing of a rocket placed upright.
The drawing was made up of short straight lines but non of the lines touched each other, all vertical.
At the side of the rocket was the word ATOM.

Recalled dream straight away and I was in a room watching two people. The person I was watching was having to change classrooms and the other person I think was a teacher . The teacher asks her if she knows where to go? She told her she was going to have a change of subject and she would be studying Maths.
Just as I finish recalling the dream I pick up ,

"IF YOU CAN MASTER THE RED(READ?) YOU CAN BLAST THROUGH PEOPLE!......ION."

Although I don't get the blasting through people thing I'm pretty sure the rest is self explanatory.
How I wish I had paid more attention in school. I haven't a foggy about atoms ions all the rest so today I've found a BBC website as a starter covering key points for GCSE level.
On reflection the folder I've compiled when learning about Platonic solids, Fractals, Phi the golden spiral,golden ratio comes together with easier understanding when written down and filed all together.
A reminder of famous sayings.

'Reality is mathematical in nature'.

' All is number'.

Plato considered PHi as the key to the understanding of the cosmos.


Pleased with what I picked up yesterday morning.

Just a quick flash of two small red postal vans. One is parked in the drive of a neighbour who lives 4 doors down from me. The second postal van pulls up onto the drive of my next door neighbour. As his van pulls up the other van 4 doors down pulls away off his drive and drives away.

I didn't know what this was about. Went to work. At about 3pm just nipped home for a quick snack before going back out again to find the post had been. A letter addressed to my son which he was waiting for with very good news in for him that should have been delivered to his other address but came here instead.

I realise now that fairly obviously the red postal van suggests some mail worth noting and the two neighbours both retired ,job share delivering prescriptions ( their van is white) and because they live close to work and are out delivering they are always popping home in between deliveries.( I popped home)

[susan]

Things were coming so fast this morning it had me surprised. Yesterday had been so grounding with no meditation practice. An enjoyable day. All I thought prior to sleep was that I still didn't understand the blasting through people thing.

This am upon wakening I just heard one word, " merging"

Drifting back to sleep I was wishing I could just experience how it has been in the past with frequent conscious OBEs when I see a little girl run onto a railway track infront of a moving train trying to stop it.
I suppose this is me trying to halt the journey . I have to continue on the route it's meant to go on.

Also I wondered why everything I pick up now visually is instruction of a kind.( meaning I don't visualise anything suggesting being in astral realm)
Instantly I see a woman who is also the Statue of Liberty. She is standing with one hand in front of her eyes so she cannt see and is holding up the other arm in the air holding a torch.
I had to google to get a better understanding of the Statue of Liberty and came up with,

The torch is a symbol of enlightenment. The torch lights the way to freedom showing us the path to Liberty.
Liberty enlightening the world.
Universal symbol of freedom.
OMG I couldn't make this up if I tried. Lol, there is definately good humour here. It's a good thing I don't take myself too seriously and can laugh at myself.
Just love it.