Lately I' had been very occupied with a lot of things and hadn't any adequate spiritual exercise at all .Consequently I had been remiss in devoting time to Kundalini work. Every time the question "Why DC! when did you last make your spiritual practice?" would come up in my mind I'd hush it away saying "next I will add more work to it" with willful determination (to assuage guilt and hush away the more sybaritic life style)- in the course of doing so I have realized a 2 essential things that were barricading much needed headway for me.
*I had assigned my spiritual work in an almost OCD manner.
I say this because whenever I sit down to practice I tear off fresh cotton wool and stuff it in my ears.Put white noise on loop.Shut the doors and put discarded jeans underneath the creak space to prevent light from entering.Sometimes I even leave the faucet running to prevent "bathroom type of noises" like a gurgling commode or the generalized rumbles from distracting me.
(btw if your bathroom is right next to your room leaving the exhaust on with the white noise on loop will even mute down dog barks , ambient chatter and truck/large-vehicle type of noise effectively while ensuring proper ventilation)
I'm even more particular about the place I used to sit in and made almost canine circumambulation about till I felt "satisfied" that all "pre-meditation situations had been dealt with" before finally assuming lotus.
Needless to say I needed more integration and less of ritual and ceremony.
*I had compartmentalized my life in a "Spiritual VS. Secular" manner.
I think the main reason why I have made these two distinctions is because , to be very frank I cherish the time I spend in Kundalini work , it feels good because I can literally dissociate from mundane concerns and retreat into an escape bubble.There is nothing wrong with this as a practice per se , but overtime it becomes more of a restriction than a retreat , that's because (allow me to be very blatantly cliche) ; we live in a spiritual world the rest is all sort of a "working reality" that we are interfaced in.
The other reason why I made this distinction is also because I want to maintain a very healthy amount of skepticism regardless of whatever I'm engaged in and without this the line between the spiritual and the secular really blurs out.
To fully accept and integrate my choice of devoting my self to this work I need practice more acceptance.Putting faith into something is not the same as compromising skepticism.
To address these concerns , over the last few months I made the decision to step out of my comfort zone and integrate practice in everyday life.
I started doing this by small steps like doing spinal breathing while brushing teeth in the morning , waiting for the traffic light to turn green etc etc.
Lo and behold , guess what? I could hardly take my breath up to my head! (from then onwards I accepted the challenge and pushed myself to do spinal breathing with more precision while running errands and whatever I was doing at any particular day).
After that I started doing the very simple Spinal Circuits , like the plain up the back , out the scalp , down the front and back to upwards from the spine - till I achieved at least an ordinary level of continuous flow.
After that I started doing the Full Circuits.These were really tough I could hardly get any flow going.So I tweaked and tweaked the procedure till I found I could do the more lengthy circuits while drinking water , watching tv or folding up laundry.
I have noticed a very palpable change.First off my muscular memory has literally peaked , if I start a circuit let's say while browsing or answering e-mails , if I lose track and get engaged in work and then resume , I can easily "pick up" the flow a little or even moderately ahead of where I was when consciously left it (some how this modicum of success is HUGE to me - I'm every proud it.)
Also much like the decision to eat healthy , regular exercise or gym - I have made the proactive choice with practice too.The OCD need to find time and "sit down" for practice and the disappointment of not doing that ensues , has greatly alleviated , now I don't feel as bad or as guilty as I used to.I can simply get on with my routine wherever I'm at.
I feel like I also have made progress with acceptance issues and balanced out the "quest" like , almost obsessive urge to cultivate Kundalini
Bookmarks