Hi, Liberator. Love that avatar - can totally relate.

Your narrative reads much like the aftermath of a Kundalini awakening. Hate to be so trite, but 'been there, done that' and doing it still. Before I even read your post this thought came to mind:

To accept and know the evil in yourself is to know yourself better than the average man.

I wish I could say do this or that and ALL will be well again. It's a hard thing to adjust to. A leash that can't be broken.

Anyway that's just my thoughts based on the emotions I felt.

Best to you,

Richard