Seriously Need an Explanation. Please.
First, I have never been a believer in anything spiritual whatsoever. I've always firmly believed that the spiritual world does not exist. My faith, or lack thereof, has been shaken to the very core.
Background- I'm 18 years old. This is all necessary to completely understand the actual "dreams" to the full extent. I've experienced depression of the most extreme level, and dealt with it completely alone without help from anyone, I was good at covering it up for the world everyone thought I was normal. It came on for no reason, even before this I had some signs but nothing too extreme. Just sorrow and some feelings of wanting to die. Then it came on instantly, for about 3 years (freshman-march of junior year) graphic and very violent suicidal thoughts and images constantly barraged my mind almost hourly. I never attempted it a single time, but the images and scenarios were... hellish to say the least. I abused a lot of different drugs and alcohol. During my depression I often experienced physical pain that manifested by seeming like there was a poison running through my veins. I could feel the onset, expanding from my heart, and of it spreading throughout my entire body. I was in a state of total darkness. Love was a concept I couldn't fathom and I was hopeless things would ever get better, I was prepared to live the rest of my life like this. At least for a couple years, until I started actively trying to free myself. Fear, pain, weakness, and sorrow are all gone from me now, it's been more than a year since the depression abruptly ended one day. After that I felt alright, but around 6 months later I felt amazing and kept feeling better and better. I don't know how blood affects the spiritual world but I also used to cut (also burn sometimes), alot, sometimes as much as up to 50 about 1/4inch deep slices at a time, all my scars have disappeared. I felt like I deserved the pain for some reason and that's why I did it. They healed in weeks, longest a month at a time, constantly freeing up space for the new ones. The times where I did it alot I had the strange urge to burst out laughing afterwards, and I did, I don't know what was so funny. I fell into deep rages often too. There were also more than a few times I should have died unintentionally, but didn't. My old self completely disappeared after this all ended as well, I feel reborn. The way I've described this to people is in the before, during, and after it was like I was dead, went to the lowest pits of hell (it was bone chillingly cold, not fiery as religions often describe it), then went to the heavens. I've always been extremely intelligent, and now I am as strong as I feel a person can get, and completely fearless. Completely. I know what light is now, and it feels good. I don't feel sad or angry at all anymore really. Even at things that should make me feel that way. Finally, numerous people have told me that I have a very strong, old spirit/soul. I don't know how they could tell and I don't fully understand what they mean.
Now to begin. I've experienced sleep paralysis a few times when I was younger around 6-7 years old. I felt intense mental vibrations and I don't know what that was. Also scattered a few times from age 7-16 same feeling, nothing bad whatsoever.
A month or two ago I experienced it about 10-12 time throughout about 45 days, with no discernible pattern of occurrences. The first few times, I sensed a very powerful, ancient (I don't know why I'm using this word to describe it, but that was the feeling I got) darkness in my room but couldn't see anything. It was ice cold as well. I was awake and couldn't move other than look around with my eyes, but I was fully conscious. The first time I was a little confused during the first couple seconds, then used all my willpower to try to move and "broke free" around 10sec after the start. It took around 10 seconds to break free the next 2 times as well, and again I only sensed something.
The 4th time, I saw it. I woke up on my right side, spotted something out of the corner of my eye, and looked as far left as I could and saw it clearly. A face was about 4 inches away from my own, staring at me. It's head was larger than a good sized grown man, but not enormous. It's shape was made out of a black silhouette, like a 3D shadow. It was extremely well defined, I could clearly see the different depths and contours of its shape. Its eyes were a dark, glowing red. Its stare was extremely intense, I could feel the hatred, darkness and rage in it. Quite a few easily visible red veins snaked from the center of its face out toward the sides of its head and around its mouth down its neck, they were slightly brighter than the red of the eyes. Its mouth was wider and taller than normal. It was opening its mouth and I could see a few rows of needle-like teeth. Very thin similar to nails and around 3-4 inches long. The second I saw it I immediately tried whipping my shoulders around and throwing a right hook into its face. I felt the pressure building up in my body and my right arm and chest started shaking, and when I awoke after about 7-8 seconds total I flung to a sitting position from the force. I scanned the room for it to begin what I thought was going to be a physical fight to the death. I was excited, and I was annoyed when I couldn't see anything there. I still sensed something in the room, but I convinced myself it was my imagination and fell back to sleep a few minutes later. After that night, I began to sense it at all times in my room, even during the day. At night I'd have weird feelings of something on my bed, I felt the pressure of something heavy on it and heard my bed creak at times but saw nothing. Another few paralysis's of seeing nothing but sensing it went by.
One night, I had a strange dream (not lucid, I don't think at least) where I was in an old temple of some sort. I started in a central chamber where I "awoke" in a coffin. I opened it and was on a raised platform in the center of the room. I walked down the stairs and out the door into the main portion of the temple. It was huge in size and similar to a maze but not designed so simply. I started in the center, at the very bottom level. In the temple it was pitch black, but I could still see somehow. I also knew the way out, I had a weird feeling of deja vu and I made it to the exit without any trouble at all. Bright light shined through the exit door and I walked toward it. A voice from behind me said "You cannot walk out that door!" but I disregarded it, didn't look back and exited the temple. When I exited I awoke in sleep paralysis laying on my back. What happened next surprised me. It wasn't like the movies where the sheets magically fly off the bed, which is what I thought would happen in this situation. My sheets started being pulled off the foot of my bed. It felt like it was being grabbed by one arm reaching from under the bed and pulling it. I saw the sheets moving, felt them rubbing against my body, and heard the soft sound of it rubbing against me and my bed. It was so real. When they completely fell off the foot of my bed I heard a voice from under my bed. In a deep, "demonic" tone the voice said, "You have lived in MY home, I have come here to take you back." Then I heard the voice a few seconds later to my left that said in a taunting tone, "So... I hear you want to f**k someone up." I got the vibe it was trying (and failing) to not just scare me, but possibly hurt me. I looked and saw the full figure. The shadow was about 8-9ft tall and was very muscular. Red veins also snaked through its body from face to legs. They didn't look like they were placed randomly, they looked structured "right", whatever that means. I attempted to stand up and face it, and woke up in my bed. I still felt it looking at me. In my head I still didn't believe it was real. But I felt the strange need to talk out loud, like it could hear me. I said coldly, "Show yourself in the physical world, not in my dreams. I am not afraid. If you want to fight, I will kill you." I felt something jump onto my bed. I stared at where I heard the sound come from and where the pressure was for about 30 seconds, still in disbelief. But I felt it staring back. I laid down on my side and I felt a cold pressure try to grab me and flip me onto my back. I didn't move, and fell back asleep with no problems.
About 3-4 days later after nothing happening I thought I might have scared it away. I still doubted it was real but I'm very receptive to new ideas if there is sufficient evidence. And the evidence was growing, that this was a very dark, very powerful, intelligent being. It was doing things that I did not expect and in ways I did not expect, leading me to believe it wasn't just my imagination. For some reason I had strong faith in myself that even if it was real, I could beat it physically, or mentally. That night, I had the weirdest, most interesting experience of my life. I woke up paralyzed and on my side facing the direction of where it was last time. I was expecting it to appear in front of me and talk again. I was wrong (this is what makes me think it wasn't my imagination). I felt it behind me on my bed, and I felt a hand grab onto my right shoulder. Then (this was a weird sensation) I felt what seemed like a knife viciously thrust into the left side of my back about halfway down a few times. It didn't hurt, it felt similar to what I would think a dense cloud would feel like. Spectral might describe it. Pretty cool. I was not expecting what happened next. I was picked up about 2-3ft and suspended in mid air for a couple seconds. I didn't panic, but I was surprised to say the least. Then I was moved a few feet over the side of my bed and thrown violently onto the floor and started being dragged underneath my bed. I broke free. I was legitimately shocked when I woke up in my bed like nothing happened. I thought for a fact I would be underneath my bed face to face with death. At this point I realized this being was 100% trying to kill me. I thought about where it stabbed me, directly in the heart, multiple times. I laughed out loud when I woke up and realized that I probably made it mad when I told it I was going to kill it. This was entertainment for me. But still, I have my doubts.
The next 2 times it came I only sensed a shadow of the original power that was there, nothing special happened. I didn't truly realize how weak it was getting until the next time, when it struggled to try to drag me off my bed. It dragged me a few inches, stopped, adjusted its grip, and dragged a little more, this time toward the side of my bed touching the wall. I assumed it was going to try to pull me down the crack but there was no way I'd fit. It dragged me 3-4 times before I got bored and decided to break free. I woke up and felt it lightly grab my feet and try to pull me over the foot of my bed. Again, I laughed at its weakness. I said, "You're going to have to do better than that, you're starting to bore me." It stopped and didn't make itself known the rest of that night.
The last time the paralysis happened, it spoke to me once more. The once deep, demonic voice had changed. This time it was no more than a loud whisper. I could tell by the sound of its voice that it was legitimately surprised and utterly baffled. All it said was "Why am I dying...?". I woke up, for some reason I felt like this thing had never lost. I answered, "I told you I was going to kill you." It never returned.
Please tell me what this means. I really need to know if it was my imagination or something more.
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. These are very annoying creatures, mostly feeding on fear, anger, depression, such kind of a stuff. I would say he just tried to make more food from you. You did great when banishing it 
Positivity ROCKS!!! 
Originally Posted by SpaceEagle
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