For quite a long time, I have had a person in my life who could best fit into the Twin Flame category. The road has not always been an easy one, but there has always been a mystical, warm and wonderful connection the likes of which I have never experienced before or since.

Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately since we burn white hot, we both went in different directions but always kept the connection. I know they say that Twin Flames often have tumultuous relationships which is true in our case. It is also said however, that twin flames always stay connected which is also true in our case.

Over the years, it has seemed like something in the universe has actively sought to keep us apart whenever we get together. It could be the TF dynamic, it could be that we are each scared of becoming too close and upsetting our lives, it could be us creating our own manifest reality, or it could be some kind of outside jealousy energy.

Recently, he has become progressively very very ill. It is extremely serious. His illness really is a result of his own choices but sadly, it is overcoming him at the moment. There is still hope, but it seems like right now it is an uphill battle.

Two nights ago we were together and he said something that was kind of hurtful. I said something to him and he came back with an accusation that I was somehow causing him to be ill by saying how badly I felt about his illness. Part of his illness also has to do with a very altered mental state so it is not like he is thinking straight by any means plus he is on a ton of meds, but in any case, it really bothered and hurt me a lot. I really have always loved him and was making every effort to tell him how much I cared. Although I didn't say it, I am also scared of possibly losing him.

Ironically, and I never told him, I have long suspected that there is an external force that continually drives a wedge between us. There are persons who, for a long time, have had a personal interest in making sure we never went beyond the relationship we have and I have suspected that perhaps someone is sending energy to keep us apart, but it certainly is not me, as he alleged. Maybe this is what he is feeling but is mistaking it. Maybe it is something else. Maybe it is this same energy that I have felt but he is interpreting it differently. Admittedly, I was very shocked at how gaunt he had become and maybe that is what he was feeling as we have a strong empathetic bond and ability. Also, I think it is worth noting that when I first got to his place, I felt like he was not all there, in the sense of his soul, but as the night progressed, he got stronger and stronger. In fact, it was so obvious that you could have charted it. He did not want me to leave and I stayed as long as I could. I had not seen him for over a year and now I wonder if we did not need each other energy wise.

I know this post cuts across the psychic defense and deliberate manifestation threads and I wasn't quite sure where to put it so I am sorry if I posted it in the incorrect section.

Any insights are appreciated.