can i vent here?

[Sinera]

A suggestion:

Have a vision: use your money from your job as long as you still do it to invest. Invest in alternative / complementary psychotherapy treatments. There are a lot of them. I know this since I am doing a naturopath now and some of my colleagues are psychotherapy naturopaths / complementary med practicioners.

There's tons of complementary methods, also on the psychology and counselling field. I know that Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) has so much to offer, too. Choose what is of your liking and what resonates with you and of which you know can help your clients/patients better than e.g. 'orthodox' (mostly pharmacologically based?) psychotherapy.

Learn them, take courses, seminars, studies. Then found your own practice, maybe together with someone else, another naturopath, psychologist etc. Become a trainer or counsellor. There's so much opportunities 'on the market' to become self-employed with this, especially with your 'orthodox' training and qualifications as a basis you have the best starting requirements!

As said, develop a plan for the next 3-4 years, a good vision. And use your job to make it come true and finance it since you still need to make a living and invest the money. Then your job might itself 'make sense' to you again, provisionally - at least on another level. And the time will come when you won't need your job anymore and can do 'better' counselling and psychotherapy.

[fiatlux]

Today, things have actually been much better and I was less preoccupied by these thoughts and feelings. I think typing these things out allowed much of these emotions to move and run its course. I suppose it will still have an effect on me for some time before they really begin to start to lose it's power over me, but I can trust that these things are not permanent no matter how excruciating it may feel. I also like to thank each one of you for writing because reading your words has been much help, and I have found much peace from reading your responses.

I do believe that i am here to experience things and to clear out karma/live out experiences that will assist me to evolve and/or prepare me for something in the future. I agree that I definitely am in need of psychotherapy to work on myself. I do have a counselor who is quite spiritually/energy oriented that has been helpful in the past, however I haven't seen her since December. I know I owe it to myself and my clients to resume work on myself and to seek her service again, which I do intend to.

Grounding is certainly helpful. I certainly agree that there is the presence of too much water and air and that earth may help to harmonize things.

Supervision
My supervision is within my agency, but I do have former supervisors from previous sites that I am still in touch with that I can consult with. One of them in particular has offered me a position in her new private practice but because of my current need to gain experience and collect hours to fulfill state requirements as well as to earn and save money, I feel that it is best for us to postpone work together until a later time. She's definitely on the same wavelength as I, in that we are both open minded about alternative/complementary practices. I definitely would like to implement these things if private practice is the direction I am heading towards.. @Sinera, I greatly appreciate your suggestion as it is very much in alignment of what I have begun to vaguely envision. I however need to remind myself of this goal and continue to work on it and refine these plans.

Again, I like to thank each one of you for writing. Each of your response helped validate my experiences, provide me a sense of comfort and peace, and remind me that it's going to be hard but it's going to be ok. Thank you.

[John Sorensen]

I work in a job I loathe.

But finally, after 3+ years I am leaving this job this year.

I knew from the beginning this job was not a "vibrational match" for me, but took it after one year of unemployment where every interview turned me down etc.

So I took it out of desperation, and not wanting to end up either homeless, or having to live with a family member etc and be a burden on them.

If there is something I can say, its this, make peace with this moment, this NOW, because now is all you get.

If you decide to leave the job, then do so.

If you decide to stay, then do that.

Either way, make a clear and DEFINITE decision, and accept your present conditions, while acknowledging that whether you stay or go, either way you create your vibrational reality, your thoughts, feelings and emotions.

You feel as good as you imagine yourself to be, and you carry that imagining through you days, and that feeling tone becomes your way of being.

I find playing video-games and watching comedies always cheers me up after working in a low frequency work place, or after being around angry frustrated people.