-getting the bulk of my money to cure. phew.
-vitamin waters and powerades
-despite being broke to do Botox and buy more makeup and being stressed, feeling more like i'm more attractive lately
-four leaf clovers
-wearing my four leaf clover bracelets lately and reattaching my four leaf clover keychain to my keys
-J seeming to care when I was having a breakdown and drunk and sent mean texts. He texted back sooner than usual while he was at work which he doesn't do and wanted to see me. He didn't judge me for being mean
-the on and off of J and I trying to see each other even though it still didn't happen unfortunately
-J being cute in how he reveals himself sometimes in his rudeness, it kinda shows he's trying to hide his real feelings in a very juvenile way
-the kind people who donated to my gofundme
-when p cat lays under the blanket with me
-accepting a date at the last minute with a guy who was offering me all the things of not having to pay rent, giving me shopping money, etc etc if I lived with him or was his gf. I decided why not go to lunch and when I said I needed to get cat food first he offered to take me to the store so went to the store and he let me get whatever I wanted his treat so I got two boxes of the smaller cat food they like, a bag of kibble, cat treats, Clorox wipes and Pedialyte because he thought it'd help my dehydration. We then went to dinner which was ok. I enjoyed the wine and bruschetta. Wasn't crazy about my lasagna. Then went to a dispensary and the lake and let him kiss me a little. The lake was nice. He wasn't too bad. He kept saying how lucky he was I went out with him and that I was there and called me baby girl and baby a lot. Said i'd never have to worry about cat food. It was nice getting out and feeling treated special.
-deciding once I got home from my date to still keep my plans to meet with the photographer since I already was ready and didn't want to make him wait again since I kept canceling days so he agreed to still meet and ubered me there to the Irish pub I had ordered food from before. It wasn't too bad. He didn't think I looked bad. I ordered a fun green cocktail with baileys. Then had a few more and he ubered me home. It was nice to socialize after having been going through so much stress and barely being social these days. It was nice feeling normal amongst the chaos. It felt like I was getting my life back. Thinner me, going on a date, being provided for, meeting a work contact, having drinks, going to the lake and having weed. It was a full day for me.
-again getting signs about J that he's mine in a big way. The song I strongly associate with him came on during dinner on my date. Then, sure enough after our date, this guy wanted to see me. All went well. He randomly got upset by something small that wasn't my fault and in mid Convo just started ignoring me.This doesn't happen. Another guy out of the picture since meeting J. I'm surprised I even was able to go on the date but ever since I met him guys end up out of the picture very quickly either by doing something random and weird that repulses me or they just randomly lose interest. I've even had guys who were friends leave my life permanently. It's almost spooky.
-The hud intake interview lady requesting a tro for me and filling out the questions for that and sending in my edits for the interview I did with her
-my feminine energy
-being considered beautiful and a prize, a bit of a showpiece
-new inspiration
-yoga
-walking
-my new wide leg pants
-my converse sneakers
-J is upset with me right now, I can feel it. I practically bribed him with the thing he's been wanting and threw myself at him and he suddenly didn't want it. In the moment he did, but then shortly after I haven't heard from him. He wouldn't just reject that. And he hasn't responded to any of my texts. I told him about my date the night before. I'm thinking now he's upset with me about that. Before I thought he was involved in something else that scared me, but now I think I was just paranoid. But,I think this shows it's not just using me for sex.It's really weird.
-having a random song come to me that I played and the lyrics and vibe were exactly the emotion and words and vibe I felt like he could be feeling or was feeling or a song he was listening to about me. It was strange. My psychic connection feels a little more on lately.
-remembering my dream I had just now of J where he changed his social media to the name of my ex who hung himself and had a wilted rose emoji in the bio.
-m's husband coming by to unclog my shower drain
-dreaming someone unclogged my shower drain the morning of
-sunshine
-sunsets
-ordering groceries off Amazon the other night
-finally ordering my astaxanthin vitamins recently
-ganesha mantras
-finding a Ganesha sound I can play while laying down or doing other things
-sleep and sleeping so deep lately
-sweaters
-mopping and cleaning the back of the kitchen floor the other day
-doing my written affirmations
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