-food
-snacks
-sodas
-that l and i finally hung out again
-that now i know what it's like to have a guy in my apartment and i handled it well.i got the house cleaned good before he came and put things away well and things didn't look too odd
-things getting normal in some ways with things with best friend and getting a reassurance he didn't pay for a certain thing for R and he even said he swears on his grave and i tend to believe people when they say that. that he confided about his classes so now i know why money has been bad and why he's been stressed as money always really stresses him out
-finding out i am attracted to l and that he looked more attractive when he got to my door. his hair was different and he just had a "cool" look plus he seemed more confident. finding out there is chemistry between me and l too.
-finding out l is actually very dominant and take control. idk what it is,maybe it;s just what i attract,but he did all these little things for me like he was taking care of me.i caught him washing a dish to give me more whiskey even though there was a dish and he figured out how to turn the heat off then put it back on when i was cold.i didn't even know how to turn my heat off/on yet. plus,he just had very take control,dominant gestures. some maybe overly so. i don't how this happened. he was take control enough when we had last date but wouldn't have suspected him of being overly so.
-l being so into my looks and staring at me a lot and saying im more beautiful in person and making me feel more attractive by staring so much at me and being so happy with how i look.
-l bringing up early on in the night our relationship status asking if we are going to make it official and what i want to do.i got nervous saying right now and got shy and then subject kind of got changed. i brought up how what he does for a living and what i do we'd be a perfect couple and team and he said that's what he's been trying to say
-makeup for making me feel beautiful
-how proud i am of myself for managing to be able to have a guy over at my house and handling it
-getting money sent to my paypal from my card all on my own when i had trouble figuring it out and thought i'd need best friend to help me figure it out
-deciding this morning that,yes i would like to switch rooms which i was offered from roommate and that the living room would make things much easier for me and seems a overall more nicer fit
-my style
-being a woman
-my desires and getting clarity about what do next with certain things
-seeing pics from last job and seeing some i like
-how nice it would be to have a high end industry boyfriend if l and i actually work out
-feeling invigorated in ways
-getting wall decal put up in living room today
-physical exercise
-that somehow the "princess" thing seems to work out for me and people seem to always help me out and do things for me. maybe because i'm not manipulative and i'm just authentically sort of feminine and slightly "helpless" in demeanor
-how much l likes my teeth. he kept playing with them by running his fingers over them
-being able to be social finally
-that c called me last night to see if i was going to event.i feel bad i didn't go once i seen that,but it was nice she actually called to see
-my understanding and empathy for others
-how nice it is things have calmed down enough with best friend that i haven't had to contact his parents at all in almost a week.
-reassurances
-my child like side
-feeling better physically now. felt sick again in the afternoon and was scared. glad that's over with.
-naps
-my contact from water job deciding to reschedule with conditions i told her i needed. was so glad she was able to work with that.
-that things have really been moving now that the new year is here. so grateful
-my conviction
-seeing little things fix or get figured out quickly lately. it makes me feel empowered. sometimes it's after an affirmation
-l being cute and saying we should go to a movie sometime while he was over after i brought up movies randomly and how cute it was how he asked me like he was asking me on a date and wanting to make me happy or coming up with ideas. ah,plus i love movie dates for some reason. they make me feel like a princess. they are just so classic and make me swoon for some reason. but only when the guy asks me,if he just takes me last minute that's not what i mean,but when guys ask me to a movie as in a date idea for us
-all the little future things l suggested last night
-that l actually seemed like he might be boyfriend material
-my realizations the other night about moving forward and just finding something to dive into and about how it seems i've been getting ready to clear predestiny for awhile now and reflections on a very high vibe former crush
-that plastic bins seem really cheap and like an easy thing to buy this weekend for storage
-seeing little signs best friend cared about me today though it upset me and i told him to stop acting like he cares. he made my heart race. he asked certain questions about l and then i hesitated and it made him suspicious.
-being considerate
-mercy
-being classy
-being high end
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