-going out last night. it was JUST what i needed to make me feel moved forward and i think what had been causing me to feel so crazy with my thoughts lately is just how cooped up i've been.
-how amazingly me and my ex A were REALLY in sync with each other in alignment. It was crazy. For the first time since we have broken up and i'd moved on,i could actually picture myself possibly in a relationship with him.We were even naturally mimicing each other's movements. He's so mature and non sexist and really appreciates how humble i am and was suggesting all these things he wants us to do,like take me to dinner,and brunch,and meeting his friends and he had said he wants a relationship with someone like me saying someone who's seen him change over the last years and that he's seen me change,implying me since we had mentioned that how we've seen each other change throughout the years and talked about it. he even said who knows maybe we'll end up together. and he talked about an ex of his,that everyone says is perfect for him,and that loves him,but he just doesn't feel it for her,which was very interesting to me. We were very very in sync with each other's values about things we talked about,and him understanding me,and me understanding him,in a way unlike the previous times we've gotten together after splitting.i really really credit this to the loving myself things i've been doing.i like that's he's a provider type,and always pays for all things,and even says he does that for all his people,and that he drove me home in the morning,and that there was no weird,and is never any weird will i be expected to chip in crap.he had also said something along the lines implying he likes that i'm not a type of girl to try and use a guy for money,and i think that makes him want to take me out even more when i'd suggest coffee sometime,he'd say brunch,and say he wants to take me to dinner,and ask if i'm hungry,etc,etc. he also said if we were serious with each other,he'd consider going vegetarian which is something i like now in a guy i've realized in the last months,so that was very nice. he also was very physically attractive to me,and for the first time,didn't really annoy me that much,we were just very in sync,it was quite interesting. he just seemed more..different,idk how or what.i want to say more genuine,maybe? he also was very respectful of my morals and was ok if we didn't have sex. he seemed more to just want me there to hold. i like also how he held me when we walked out of his apartment around the stomach and then holding my arm old fashioned style as we walked to his car. it went pretty nice,a few awkwardnesses that i want to improve on about certain things on my end,but he just seemed changed,i think maybe the inner work i've been doing too,it's like we've evolved to align up to each other.it's quite cool.
-that he tagged me on facebook that we were out.idk why he did,he did it on his own,but i like that he did. it seems like a couple-y thing to do,kind of,though. maybe he is trying to show something to people,idk.
-this girl tagging me that i'm hawaii at a resort with her the other day.idk why she did that,maybe she is just thinking of me,but it made me giggle.
-realizing some of the flaws i'm insecure about are actually stretch marks which is another issue entirely,so that's good to know so i can think differently and realizing one issue is less then i thought
-buying vitamin e vitamins today. it's one vitamin i've been looking to work on getting more of so happy about that
-masculine guys who aren't sexist,respect your morals,provide for you,and don't go icked out by sex during that time of the month.
-getting more makeup today and beauty products. didn't find ideal product i wanted,but some others that i am hoping will suffice.
-getting groceries today
-getting an out coffee today.
-getting a soda in the morning when i got home down the block from me. so needed after a night of cocktails,always.
-uber. so much better then cabs.so much cheaper,too. so glad to start using uber more to get to things. way convenient.
-music
-fun
-empathy
-cute,and happy things
-my eyes,and how large and wide they are
-all the upcoming business trip offers coming in still
-my backside being very curvy and round which i know is very sexy
-my strength. it's one of the things my ex A really admires about me is how strong i am,and how much more confident i've become. he loves how much more i look in his eyes now compared to before when we were a couple years ago,i was much shyer.i feel very sexy being complimented on my inner beauty qualities
-the nice long nap i took today.
-the beautiful springtime feel today. how fresh the air feels. how vivid the candy apple green the leaves on trees were today. and then the nice refreshing rain that occured. a beautiful spring day.
-seeing so much how i live such a "healthy" lifestyle compared to the average person. like,this ex smokes,drinks a lot,works with oil fumes,eats a lot of meat,etc,etc and here i am the girl who meditates everyday,does yoga everyday,is on a plant based diet,doesn't smoke,only drinks socially,etc,etc.
-beauty
-forgiveness
-being a woman
-that my ex A is still in my life
-reflection
-that i can meditate tonight
-awesome creations