wow. i've been so down in the dumps i haven't done in my gratitude list in 2-3 days. crazy.
-eyeglasses
-almond milk and it making my bitter coffee taste better
-a clean diet
-vegan food
-tarot cards and using them in proper and not taking it too seriously ways
-embracing my feelings of apathy today. apathy is one of the worst feeling imo,but instead of discarding apathy,maybe,just for a day,it can be ok.i haven't felt apathy in quite some time in fact,it's weird.
-chakra and theta musics to heal. i know for me,chakra music really helps when i'm going through a heartbreak. and in the beginning of january,listening to chakra music in combination with energy friend sent me,and some loving creative music i listened to a lot at the time,i healed super quick and had good luck with love matters. thinking of that music and chakra music reminds me of B,he commented on it a bit back then when i told him about it and encouraging me to listen to it. i fmiss him.
-finding out the picture of us may not be deleted like i thought.i'm not seeing it,but the number of pictures on my fb page is the same as it was,it hasnt gone down. so,this is leading me to believe there's some glitch keeping me from seeing it since he blocked me. also,it makes no sense why he would delete the pic even if he did hate me,it wasnt even a couple picture. that made me feel a little better.
-water
-stretches
-being easy on myself,changing things up,changing plans
-best friend and i chatting about energy on a short drive today and the energy he sent me in jan. after me blaming him a few times this week(i know i'm not right but i just felt something off about this whole month and was upset),we realized energy wise what changed with him sending me energy by me asking him and explaining to him how energy works since he is great at doing it but not as knowledgable about the metaphysics behind it. as it turns out,he did stop sending energy right before my last date with B.he is sending lots of energy right now and has been all week. it may take time for some things but i know all is well.
-the proof of energy sending by seeing it such as when best friend affirmed i'd get really angry and text B to ask him to talk to me and 15 minutes later i did back on monday. he didn't tell me he did this,i just got angry all of a sudden and felt the urge to tell him to at least tell me what's going on. best friend is getting so good at sending energy lately and doing it more often,he is like a pro. it was quite eerie. things like this affirm more for me that this is real and not that hard to do and inspires me. january did feel like a spell.
-the law of attraction and all the wonderful proofs of it such as when my mind has been on releasing attachments and then i seen things constantly bringing it up
-how inspired and willed i am to keep my thoughts focused on exactly the reality i want to create and taking away all thoughts off what i do not want even if i feel a need to "understand." keeping B out of my mind more and more and only having thoughts for the reality i want to create in my mind. faith. using setbacks as a challenge to rise up to be better with mastering the law of attraction
-the spiritual lessons of this B situation coming to me as simply mastering the law of detachment since that's the true nature of reality and mastering the loa since that is the true nature of reality. i fail when i get anxious. it really is so simple sometimes,there is no divine reason for why this happened with B,because B and i aren't done, i feel this with all my heart,this is simple a setback to help me get back on track with being less attached and keeping my thoughts stronger.
-excuses you can use for the positive manifestation to help the logical mind believe in it
-heat
-stylish comfortable clothes
-inspiration from B about neighborhoods i want to move to next
-all the little things i have in common with B that show me he isn't random and so therefore this isn't done
-manifesting D back. simply because i had set the intention to and it is affirming to see intentions manifest
-learning all about online dating because in pain and apathy,i created fake profile to troll on dating site B is on. i've learned so much that affirmed everything i thought about online dating is true and not for me at all. and,i've had conversations about my experience with B to get perspectives from strangers so that was nice
-laughing at my silliness and unique personality
-my positive life coach personality
-tarot advice of being confident,having pride about the B situation which also guided me on how to proceed.be myself,work on myself but don't try too hard to be more awesome then ever and exhaust myself just so B can see. but instead follow my desires and pour my pain into bettering myself. already have several things i'm doing.
-remembering powerful loa advice from an loa forum someone messaged me that was anytime someone says something about something that i believe that ticks me off or annoys me,it's my own inner doubts speaking back to me in the form of that person.i had resisted that concept not understanding it for sooo long until august but now remembering today when someone on a forum was saying things that made no sense that angered me,i calmed down and realized,hey on some level they are speaking to some doubts you must have,even if they're slight otherwise it wouldn't come up so rise up to the challenge to see what's really going on within you so you can clear it. this is so good! a pivotal part of my spiritual learning it was back in august when this clicked for me. the world is a mirror concept. be so thankful! think back to those times you felt so sure of something then sure enough other people seemed doubtful and it annoyed you a little,so sure enough your vibration lowered a little,too,instead use that to empower you every time you see that because it's the universe showing you what to clear up! so damn good and beautiful.
-remembering beautiful unfolding moments of spiritual learning concepts with others involved too and involving serendpity that show you if you observe your self in this reality as a curious person who is experiencing the "amnesia" as you walk back to remembering little by little but still have to keep reminding yourself of it.
-knowing the reason we are here,is to master the playground we play on via the law of attraction and to keep walking back to love. so good! pain happens to teach us to master the loa and remember love and choose love and setbacks happen for polarity and to teach us to master loa . rise to the challenge. get up! see what you did wrong via your thoughts. the universe loves you and is always speaking to you and life is a neverending adventure of play!
-vibration rising in little moments
-instead of being sad for having no date or anything like that for the first time in a bit this weekend,embracing it a little and instead using the time to get organized.i will organize online things this weekend. something i've not done in quite awhile! it'll be healing.
-love songs
-stylish music
-beauty
-creativity
-cool art
-inspiration all around me
-my beauty
-feeling my feelings and sadness,my vulnerability,and my wounds
-my strength
-getting to go to my favorite coffee shop tomorrow
-my goal i'm working on now to master using ride sharing apps so i can use that instead of expensive cabs
-smiling
-laughter
-colors
-knowing anything not at ease in my life,i can change.anything i feel bad about,i can turn around
-knowing anything can happen!
-going for a nice short walk today. embracing the insane amount of snow. this day will never come again. may as well enjoy the moment.
-how great january was.
-thinking today how much has changed since this time last week and how sad it made me feel then quickly turning it around and remembering,but look how much can change by this time next week! it's all good.
-stumbling upon a cool looking event to go to on valentines day weekend at my favorite hotel
-forgiveness
-all my ideas
-who i am as a person
-knowing it was time to stop asking about B now and lay off the advice and also let him out of my mind now.
-loving myself
-feeling love again little by little
-that mercury will be direct again next week and i just know life will be better because of it
-how high end i am
-new instagram followers
-my femininity and that i'm not afraid to be a feeling,crazy woman
-yet at the same time a contentment with myself in some ways with not needing a date on v-day like some girls and being ok with doing some things myself
-sweetness of B. i know he'll come around. i remember sweet things like us had barely just met and him offering to cancel his new years eve plans to spend the holiday with me. he is a sweet soul,i know he is just lost and will have empathy for me soon. i dont think i've ever had a guy offer to do something that sweet. to have just met me a few days ago and want to cancel his new years eve plans he bought tickets for just to spend the holiday with me. he was concerned about me spending the holiday alone. that'll always be one thing that sticks out in my mind about him that i liked.i almost wish i had gone,and what kind of time would we have had. he acted serious about me from the start then dropped me like nothing and has the nerve to delete me then block me when i didn't even act crazy when he said he's done with me.
-trusting my first hunch that he blocked me because he was going crazy about me and affected by me and probably checking my page alot
-trusting he probably deleted me seeing our mutual friend liked my new profile picture