-brushed hair
-hair clips
-eyeglasses
-potatoes
-spices
-how much i've transformed in the past few years and the transformation in this year and last month and what's to come
-that i can be sure i'm not one of those people who never changes
-having a new apartment confirmed
-realty company coming by to look at apartment i'm living in and roommate taking care of talking to them
-deciding about a day or so ago before bed that it's time to let go of E and that I feel ready to. My interest in him feels lost and though i feel sad at how it's gone this year,i know analyzing why isn't going to do anything and i just need to break free and immerse in new people and i finally am at a point now where within i feel ready to meet new people and can even find myself starting to imagine new romantic potential interests. At this point,i will only think of E as a friend since the biggest block anyways was how awkward i felt after that kiss in winter. after how all this year has been,i commented to a friend that i miss the winter love life and the days of D as awful as he was,at least I felt I could draw E back to me at any moment as my friend and have my friend life back and things were just so very different then.i remember feeling sad that a chapter was really closing in winter and now i see why even more,it really was. and,i miss that time. the dating the douchebag D,and finding B and having E as my friend.This year has been utterly confusing with regards to E and how my perceptions changed but I'm taking my power back by letting him go and focusing on finding new friends and big career moves I've not seen him in so long,he no longer is what he is and that makes me sad how i used to have him as a friend and i can't think about it,i just can't. I just have to move fast in a new direction.
-water
-lipbalms
-after all that i've cleared and new changes,feeling like it's time to be fearless and work on being more independent again. i stopped after scary things 2 years ago,and in me,i blocked myself by telling myself certain things,but it's time to put myself out there again and be growth focused. it's funny how i told myself i wasn't going go to out much living here but that's ok,and then that's what happened.i have a feeling new place will produce more external change and activity. maybe it's nostalgia but in 2012,ad 2013,i had so many great things to fall back on,that i'd never have been worried about seeing someone like E again and worrying how i'd make friends to do things. my energy has become desperate. and i've been ungrateful. there's always so much,so much it is hard to take it all in,yet we limit our scope and blur our vision and often see lack,it's crazy. and,again with the E thing,i was able to attract him into my life with ease before,it's all energy. we can create anything and it's all just a game of energy.
-upcoming travels and feeling full of wanderlust and how great it'll be for me and realizing past recent travel did propel me forward with growth
-my style
-colors
-instagram
-art
-books
-spiritually cleansing
-my beautiful transitioned loved one
-how tan my skin looks
-how attractive my best friend looks
-a great workout last night and how amazing the yoga was
-scheduling another dance class and how beneficial that is for me in so many ways
-towels
-tissues
-cats
-lavender oil
-frankincense oil
-enzymes
-fortified with vitamins food products such as coffee
-quiet
-peace
-positive actions i've been taking as part of my transformation
-doing a little research on upcoming trip