-mountain dew
-being healthy
-getting in a driving lesson today and going faster then i have thus far since starting these last winter and maintaining driving on the busy streets for about 15 minutes even though it felt like it was giving my nerves quite a workout by the time i was done. i'm managing at driving,and all that's left is a mental hump i need to get over.i feel like i'm about 80% there,and it's the mental hump i mostly need to get over.if i had to get in a car,and drive side streets,i could handle that with ease,but busy streets would give me fear.
-the beautiful weather today and how lucid it all felt
-the beautiful rainy weather last night that felt really good. the rain smelled wonderful.
-praying with best friend's dad. it was interesting,but i got a similar feeling from it that i used to get when best friend sent me reiki
-that i got the therapy meeting over with today. that the ladies working there were very nice
-going in to get a latte before mental health clinic and feeling confident despite it all of my worth
-feeling how amazing,talent,smart,etc,etc i am despite it all with things that are my weaknesses
-having a feeling the agoraphobia...is actually still gone,despite not being able to do my plan because of betrayal that happened. something tells me that the agoraphobia was actually just a mental block all these years and once i discovered it,it was gone in my mind's eye
-that as crazy as it all sounds,i feel like if it comes to it,i will handle getting around even now going to live with best friend's parents in their neighborhood unless a miracle happens. something tells me i am just going to actually become more fearless from this and my fears will eradicate. after all,i lived there before and felt fearless and manifested a lot of great life things,even while there.
-that me going to live with best friend's parents actually fits perfectly in my mind as if life is rearranging a healed relationship with best friend and that all this can actually just be an inner cleansing
-reading a few pages of a marianne williamson a course in miracles before bed. was drawn to re-read this a few weeks and never did. the few pages i read were perfect. it was all about "just relax." Indeed,surrender is what seems most important to me right now
-finding out best friend's mom found me a seminar and offered me to go to become a fitness instructor. this put me in such a good mood last night
-getting a really good feeling things are going to go my way very soon,and that right will be restored
-doing an loa detox
-socks
-being more in tune with what i really want then i have in awhile
-imagining what i want better
-keeping my beliefs and desires to myself more and it becoming easier to do. i'm coming off quieter,but i'm also feeling better
-limiting beliefs coming to me that could help me shift this situation and bring me my miracle and close this chapter once and for all and bring better
-the law of attraction getting just a little easier by decluttering and keeping things to myself
-hummus
-cinnamon cake best friend's mom got for me
-feeling like family with best friend's family and that i like that feeling
-sleep. i'm really enjoying sleep lately
-everyone seeming to think i have so much going for me,and how flattering it is when people are impressed by my intelligence,talents,etc,etc when things come up. i just know i'm too good to be in this situation but i know i'm going to come out of this better. maybe what's meant to happen is a renewed relationship with best friend,me finally knowing how to drive and earning some money and getting around on my own a little and not being so afraid. the crazy thing is,this all seems SO simple now. it just will take some time for parts to come together 100%.i could probably go and get that liscense in 1 week if i studied and really focused on getting over this mental hump. this all seems so scary,but my issues really are mostly if not totally mental and to anyone with all i have going for me looks like easy as pie to overcome. this gives me strength and excites me to see where i will be 1 year from now.
-positive quotes such as "you can only when if your intentions are good."
-that i somehow got an appointment with psychiatrist for next week even though at first she said it'd be a few weeks
-that i feel like more and more filters are starting to come off