-vegan burritos
-pineapple soda
-how great my digestion has been
-water
-lemons
-going shopping at store i've been wanting to check out for while
-very cheap wine at the grocery store so picked up a bottle
-getting some new makeup
-travel pics to post on instagram
-all the new instagram followers and likes
-vegan icecream i bought today to try made with coconut milk
-the beautiful,warm weather and how great it feels to not have to wear a jacket and to wear flip flops and shorts
-getting on a nice sleep schedule and how wonderful it feels for my body to feel ready to sleep at that time
-getting dishes done
-spotify and all the great music i've found
-being myself
-sleeping deep,and all the dreams i had. on top of that,i've felt weird feelings not coming neccessarily coming from me,including B.i am not interested in him at all though so he can go ahead and lurk me all he wants. also had dream of ex A giving me hair products and chocolates for some reason. i've had two people with the same name,perhaps the first one was the presynchronicity of sending me an invite all of a sudden. I'm not sure if i felt E thinking about though,he is the one who sent me the invite that triggered irritability in me.i feel completely moved on from him. this trip did that for me,as in..from the friendship,too. it's so sad,but i feel i'm ready now to just let go of the friendship. what other choice do i have? it breaks my heart i never got to be part of his regular friendship circle,and it'd make me jealous a little and then i see he invites me to this huge party he is having this summer where he has invited everyone,like tons of people,more then i've ever seen on an invite of his.i clicked maybe at first,then changed mind and said no. i need to let go and not hold on. i even see B's best friend on the invite so for all i know B himself could be on there even though you'd think he hates B. It hurts how some of these people have treated me but they can all go F themselves. E is nothing but a rich kid who can't even get a girl and plays constant games. All i can do is ride it out and be happy and align with new people and experiences entering my lives. Funny this happens today,on a significant number omen day for me,but yeah,today is the day I let go of E as a friend and am ok if i never see him again. Maybe he's been thinking about me a lot because he's left my mind or maybe he's got a gf now but i was afraid of losing the friendship back in Jan,Feb,March,and April,and now i finally am ok with if i never see him again. Like,really ok. I don't know why my fate tends to be friends who are only short term or people i only see once in awhile but it's all good. I really thought E might be different.
-emailing K. she had sent me an email so i replied to that tonight
-realizing i am mad at myself too. seeing certain things like crush from the past A is moving really close to me has affected me a bit and just made me feel very stupid in ways. just about how internally i try soooooo hard,and am not trusting enough of being myself and it's just a lot to think about. it's certaintly a season of change and a whirlwind of transition
-the feeling of newness.i feel ready to find new people in my life,i feel ready to go and do things that will make me happy and bring me joy. so many things have gone away,from my friend A,and J,and so many others,it's just life. It's just E's turn. The only difference is,I had closure on those others,and understanding of why things came to be. I had thought E's purpose might be to prove to me I can change the pattern but clearly,i couldn't and he was nothing more then an acquintance who had a crush on me.i feel like i don't even know him.
-the rain. i love the rain so much in my apartment,because it's so peaceful to sit on the porch while it rains. the view while keeping dry is so peaceful and nice.
-my vitamins and how beautiful they make me
-that i can create my reality. the power of happiness and that I can create things i want and how empowering that is. i can create opportunities,miracles,reconnecting with others,new people,and so much more and how fun it can be to play with that!
-my dancers poise when i am in certain positions and poses that naturally is there
-evolving and change
-discovering new songs
-being me,my tastes and preferences in things

-