GRATITUDE LIST

[buttercup]

-newness
-my legal advocate negotiating a compromise with J that is perfect. a mutual no contact order with it written in there that he has to delete and destroy all x rated/intimate media of me(which i know he doesn't have but just as a safety precaution). The order will basically make both of not guilty and means no hearing or meeting up with my advocate next week to prepare how to defend myself against his fake allegations. all we have to do is go to judge on court day and give them it and it's all over.
-seeing J's evidence the lawyer sent over and realizing his lawyer must've told him most of what he accused me of cant count as evidence since there was only 2 things sent
-my hulu subscription and the TV show i've been watching
-sleep
-losing a slight amount of weight so far
-being pretty
-diet dr.pepper
-those who showed support of my good news
-having goals
-deciding to change my flight dates
-yoga
-blankets
-coffee
-using the tiger thermos MH's wife gave me months ago for the first time instead of just keeping it as a decoration
-cleaning, rearranging, and redecorating
-my phone
-the support and praise i've been getting on my new work
-beauty
-unique beauty
-listening to brainwave music with headphones before napping
-working a lot this month
-feeling my feelings
-masculinity
-petting H cat and him being a little more receptive to me today
-how much E cat loves when me and MH are around even though he's not ready to be petted yet and keeps more of a distance
-my new fluffy stuffed animal lamb i bought yesterday that is so cute.
-shopping
-being stylish
-my new gray belted jacket
-being smart
-being productive
-smiling
-having great cheekbones
-having great skincare products
-physical exercise
-music
-nature
-stopping at the new whole foods that was right by the place i've been going to lately to consider switching to therapy for
-having more money on my food card then i thought
-having integrity
-touch
-facial massage/facial yoga
-ideas
-attractive guys
-my medications

[buttercup]

-going for a bike ride twice as far as the last three and doing some exploring
-sunshine
-blue skies
-trying out my face tan water
-having faith and taking things one day at a time
-feeling healthy
-people who are sweet
-seeing my feral cats today
-my sophistication
-my gray belted jacket
-coffee
-diet dr.pepper
-my pink prada sunglasses
-wearing my slides today
-shopping
-being resourceful
-losing weight
-blankets
-sweaters
-my fluffy stuffed animal lamb
-conversations
-entertainment
-fixing some things with my credit card
-cancelling my lodging for my trip so i can reschedule a little later
-plants
-water
-colors
-fashion
-vegan food
-cinnamon raisin toast
-the awesome stain remover i've been using to remove makeup off the floor
-my medications
-doing some reflective writing last night
-music
-support and praise on my new work from others
-sleep
-coziness
-my stuffed animal lamb
-organizing, decluttering, redecorating

[buttercup]

-talking things out with D
-hanging out with G yesterday
-strawberry waffles
-coffee
-sunshine
-D texting me
-offering my wisdom
-mh giving me money through cash app
-being productive
-sleep
-feeling my feelings
-my medications
-showers
-clean clothes
-getting a nifty flyer for an upcoming event im doing
-plants
-peaceful sounds
-being social yesterday
-hyaluronic acid
-my lower body looking smoother
-kindness
-walking
-my gray belted jacket
-water
-organizing, redecorating, decluttering
-money being put back on my credit card
-having faith
-blankets
-yoga pants
-pillows
-blue skies
-my beauty
-newness
-connection
-getting my recap done
-cash app
-my phone
-music
-uber prices getting better
-neck massage
-laughing
-funny moments

[buttercup]

-coffee
-strawberry waffles
-my medications
-my power
-being there for D and us growing closer from it. him revealing his dark past and saying we will work things out and he will the light at the end of the tunnel for me after court
-humor
-being authentic
-being a kind person
-becoming more high status
-my beauty
-tank tops
-showers
-love
-music
-connecting with others
-sunshine
-going for a 4.4 round trip bike ride yesterday and seeing my body slim out slightly
-my appointment today
-getting a check yesterday
-MH cash app-ing me $20
-MH talking to the business about the stalker
-blue skies
-plants
-colors
-getting the wall decal letter for free to finish my living room set up and them sending me 2 to choose from
-sleep
-having nice curves
-the color green
-my green nails
-looking young and feeling like my face is starting to look younger
-being productive
-booking the first day of the rescheduled trip
-my phone
-fashion
-art
-reflecting on life
-my jobs i have coming up and castings
-being a caring person
-MH giving me 2 hydrocodone yesterday
-making money
-catching up on money
-my dad getting the magazine i sent him and how much he seemed to like it
-water
-clorox wipes
-moving forward
-growing as a person

[buttercup]

-these marbled cookie brownies i'm eating
-coffee
-the floral print sportsbra that came in the mail and how good it looks
-hope
-romance
-D and I getting closer to each other
-sleep
-bike riding
-getting my cellupulse treatment done yesterday
-newness
-innovation
-love songs
-incense i'm burning
-sunshine
-that today is a warmer day
-fashion shows
-shopping
-fashion
-moving forward and little by little getting back the progress i had made
-cash app
-confirming another job today
-trees
-colors
-blue skies
-how much the med spa appreciated the card i sent them
-my gucci purse
-my power
-sunning a little yesterday and seeing my feral cats
-cuteness
-having a kind heart
-being an understanding person
-my phone
-learning
-my beauty
-getting myself a startbucks after my procedure yesterday
-the days getting longer
-MH dropping off diet dr.pepper at my house
-smiling
-laying in my bed for about an hour doing a spiritual intention exercise
-cleaning, redecorating, and decluttering
-my goals and ambition
-things going well for me right now
-pillows
-having a kind heart
-calmness

[buttercup]

-coffee
-almond milk lattes
-getting my coffee and donut delivered to me
-motivation
-doing my laundry
-that it's a sunny day
-music
-hope
-romance
-love
-deep cleansing breaths
-my creativity
-my medications
-romance
-entertainment
-my power
-the event i got to work yesterday
-getting paid an extra hour for arriving early to help prep
-learning
-the boss buying me a coffee before we started
-clicking really well with the girl i was partnered with
-having great taste
-being thoughtful
-having a caring heart
-smiling
-laughing
-my strength
-sleep
-hyaluronic acid
-cleaning,organizing, redecorating
-getting my new lip gloss in the mail yesterday
-free cocktails
-having the next month booked up with work as well
-faith
-pronoia
-staying positive
-art
-creativity
-confirming an exciting event today
-wearing slides
-fashion
-moving slowly
-rest
-feeling confident
-being smart
-how toned and tight and smooth my backside is becoming
-my phone
-the internet
-my laptop
-peaceful sounds
-mh picking me up from my job yesterday
-shopping
-newness
-connection

[buttercup]

-D calling me yesterday and asking if we are still on for monday and telling me he figured out a plan for us and when i asked if it was good or bad, he said it was good and what i wanted. been elated ever since yet nervous. he seems like he's been relying on the last week for his happiness.
-that court case will finally be done with monday
-the romantic things D says and does
-how masculine D is
-hard seltzers
-the smell of roses
-coffee
-iced almond milk lattes
-marbled cookie brownies
-that i worked a lot in march
-taking a hydrocodone today
-blankets
-seeing my feral cats today, and how cute it is when E cat follows me around the little belly rolling L cat starts doing when MH's car pulls up. I love them so much.
-being a very understanding and accepting person
-smiling
-feeling good
-my creativity
-being smart
-beauty
-my accomplishments
-being one of the beautiful people
-ideas
-physical exercise
-MH's kindness
-the internet
-my phone
-compliments
-appreciation
-my kiehl's ashwagandha face mist
-makeup
-sleep
-my fresh sugar dream advanced lip treatment
-my hulu subscription
-cash app
-faith
-prayer
-pronoia
-meditation
-positive mindset

[buttercup]

-case finally being dismissed. lawyer said J requested i pay his lawyer fees i said no and it never even went to the judge.
-finally being able to move forward and knowing i won this
-everyone who supported me and said congratulations
-D meeting me at the courthouse and taking me to his secret place and telling me he wants to be with me and even talking things far in the future like forever
-how caring and sweet D can be. Like when we were discussing an insecurity of mine and something he did before and why it bothers me and started crying and he grabbed my hand and made me look him in the eye and said he was sorry and that was his mistake. Also, how he met me at the courthouse after court. It was perfect. Surreal. One chapter ending, another beginning.
-hot tea
-being strong against the harassment and bullying that happened to me last night when i told a guy i was friends with i was no longer single. he cussed me out, said creepy things, went on one social media calling me ugly on my pics and on another kept posting i was a freak and then from a fake profile called me a ♥♥♥♥ and threatened me. i was crying in the morning and my heart hurts that someone would want to hurt me like that.
-that MH called him last night and told him to leave me alone
-sleep
-getting psychiatrist to prescribe me a new antidepressant since i feel i've been being told by my higher self that it's time to swiitch
-taking an extra lorazapam after getting a feeling it might be ok and doctor saying he does give me extra even though it didn't make sense, and i'll see again today if that's true, being able to be more loose and take an extra when i wasnt feeling so great today was nice i feel way calmer.
-ibuprofen
-midol
-seeing my feral cats today
-my medications
-coffee
-warm showers
-sunshine
-socks
-making my next appt for my lip injections
-seeing a cute card that seemed perfect for D's upcoming birthday and buying it for him
-buying a card i thought was perfect to send to my legal advocate as a thank you
-buying a cute shirt from one of my favorite shops
-sending more cat food to my mom for her cats(my cats too, still)
-having great cheekbones
-sweet things D says sometimes..little moments like saying "i care about you" while looking at me when i was talking about everyone being happy for me with the court thing and how it meant a lot because i usually feel like no one cares about me.
-music
-art
-all the walking around the city me and D last night, the views of the secret place we looked at, the pact we made, sitting by the water and talking
-learning so much more about D in the last week or so
-iced lattes
-my gray belted jacket
-people who help animals
-my sense of style
-being a romantic
-my feminity
-my cozy funky print purple pants
-my prada slides
-my pink prada sunglasses
-my sophistication
-being good at writing
-my goals
-deciding i want to make some changes in how im doing my finances
-sending more money to my saks card today and adding a bit to my savings and overdraft protection
-getting checks in the mail yesterday
-feeling happiness yesterday
-D's natural dominance
-my skincare products
-flowers
-sharing my stories
-being a genuine person
-my accomplishments
-that i've lived fully
-space and detachment
-plants
-smiling
-MH's wife asking if i want vitamins yesterday. It's the first time in awhile she asked me for anything. And her being happy too that my case is dismissed.
-shopping
-yoga
-face yoga/face massage
-inspiration

[buttercup]

-standing up for myself
-my check for my rent coming in today
-coffee
-sleep
-being considerate
-strawberry waffles
-so far the new antidepressant working well
-blankets
-getting my new serum in the mail
-my charisma
-skipping dinners for about 4 days in a row
-reading my favorite supermodel also does intermittment fasting
-music
-the face tan water i've been using
-donating money to world wildlife federation today
-my face starting to look better
-my creativity
-entertainment
-lifting myself out of the dark spell
-smiling
-showers
-having great cheekbones
-my style
-being a nonconconformist
-being smart
-my sunflower balcony doormat
-D calling me babe for the first time yesterday
-my gucci purse
-being talented
-plants
-cozy socks
-my weight dropping down
-being productive
-making efforts
-having dreams still
-kind and supportive people
-creativity
-art
-feeling my feelings
-water
-diet dr.pepper
-finding vanilla ghee at the store i worked at yesterday
-getting my eyebrows threaded
-rest
-trees
-shapes
-having beauty
-my femininity
-what i can offer to the world
-healthy digestion
-being a thoughtful person
-greenery
-growing as a person

[buttercup]

-staying calm and collected
-being productive
-the romantic moments D and I have shared thus far and realizing wow, he is not leaving here like the big obstacle in december, then in March. He's here. He's staying in this city. It feels good realizing that.
-how gorgeous D is
-that there is no going back with me and D now
-D calling me in the morning
-my beauty
-iced almond lattes
-compliments
-starting to feel sexier again
-weight going down
-having healthy teeth
-my style
-my thoughtfulness
-my cheekbones
-my kind heart
-burning incense
-shopping
-my hulu subscription
-drinking my apple cider vinegar detox drink today
-entertainment
-music
-spicy food
-blankets
-my pink prada sunglasses
-naps
-staying strong
-my black and rose colored nike shoes
-having a tight backside
-smiling
-working for cool products
-MH giving me a ride to work today
-my food card re-loading today and picking up a few groceries
-getting a cute pop-up card for my friends birthday yesterday
-design
-art
-flowers
-plants
-masculinity
-my humidifier/diffuser
-my new heart socks
-the warm sunny weather yesterday.
-cats
-being smart
-warm showers
-water
-touch
-yoga
-physical exercise
-self nourishment
-makeup
-peaceful sounds
-beautiful skies
-fun and cool new experiences
-colors