GRATITUDE LIST

[buttercup]

-doing some creative writing and being in a bit of a poetic mood the last few days
-losing another pound, so being down the most i've been in 2 years now, 19 pounds down.
-standing up for myself
-being able to take care of myself
-powerades
-working some jobs this month
-my humidifier helping my nose bleeds go away and my skin get more hydrated and stop peeling, and allergies calm down
-hanging out with A
-realizing A and I did have a connection all this time that was kind of beautiful and remembering our first time meeting and all that
-really nice things A said when we had a fight and i told him it wasnt going to work because of several things, including my weight, the things he said about me self sabotaging etc
-processing A flaking on me a few days after our fight and letting him go, grieving it and forgiving him
-deciding to text A a get out of jail free card just to know nothing was wrong and to go back to normal telling him i didn't need an explanation and let's just go back to normal and he texted me right away and tried calling(i was on the other line)and he gave me what i asked for. Talking normal. A b.s excuse for flaking and acting like we were a few months ago.
-hud calling me back after praying a lot the other night
-prayer
-sedatives
-the pharmacy calling me today to switch my medicine in a format i can take
-neighbor boy i liked randomly texting me a few days after i hung out with A apologizing several times and wanting to see me
-compliments
-that people like my lips
-having a nice looking new work selfie i like
-makeup
-doing liquor work again which i like
-deepening my empathy and patience with P cat
-getting a new lamp to alter the lighting a little in my living room for my mood
-after my mediation turned out to be awful and not at all what i thought, finding out i was pre-approved for rental assistance back in august and just overlooked it
-my ex S contacting me the other day
-colors
-ordering chakra tea for the crown and trying it out the other day
-night skies
-sunshine
-propranol which helps me calm down
-being resourceful
-my allergies being better
-working consistently
-that S can provide me with a lease for the rental assistance since he is a landlord
-becoming open to letting more help in despite my pride such as S with bringing my stuff to storage possibly next week
-my ambition increasing a little
-moisturizers
-being in a new style and beauty aesthetic and over the blonde and other things i was doing
-buying my hyaluronic lip booster that i love finally
-staying somewhat calm and strong amidst the storm i'm in with the eviction and moving stuff going on and counting on prayer and being open to help from different places
-chivalry
-that i eat less calories these days
-paying my comed bill again this month, a small thing that is just another sign and showing of me rebuilding and really trying
-trying to raise my vibration and thinking differently
-trying to organize myself and what i have to do mentally
-packing a bag of stuff to go to storage
-clorox wipes
-utilizing the vacuum a few times recently and how great it was
-being friendly
-picking my battles
-my wisdom
-music
-blankets
-my savage side and my family history that gives me some savage blood
-my winter coat and how chic it is
-having great fashion sense
-looking young
-guys complimenting my lips a lot these days
-innovative options to stay looking young
-being really close to ready to do something with first career
-motivating myself and staying determined
-my beauty
-doing some more reading today of my book on hsp's
-having a loving heart
-becoming more into my feminine energy this year
-learning
-new goals
-evolving as a person
-newness
-my older friend J who's really been an angel this year

[buttercup]

-prayer
-that A from lcbh got me a lawyer so now i no longer have to go to court which is such a relief. It's one of the things i was hating the most. And it now frees up my energy to focus on getting out of here and getting my grant.
-A seeming really happy for me today, and even using words like "my babe" towards me and mwuahz which was cute and interesting and a little bit of a shift from the last few days now
-how cute it is when my cats go in their tunnel toys
-music
-my beauty
-looking like a model
-the compliments i get
-my gray winter coat and how sophisticated and chic it is
-cardigans
-leaving the house yesterday and the sun was out and getting a serotonin boost from it which brought me an insane amount of clarity and feeling of everything is going to be fine, it's do-able and not a misery catastrophe
-having nice lips
-taking the train home from the courthouse today and finding it which made me feel like an adult that is competent
-buying myself 2 monster cookies that M used to get me when i seen a corner bakery across the street from the courthouse for sake of recreating joy and memory
-my cica sleepmask
-my warm feelings for A
-working yesterday
-the people who provide free legal help. It's such a great service they are doing and seeing that little desk there besides the organization that's been helping me was really great
-getting in miles today that was a nice walk, which was nice. I haven't been walking much with all the stress and so i really appreciated that
-the cocoa butter body moisturizer i use which is really good
-makeup
-my eyes looking less puffy the other day at work
-having goals
-hanging out with A making realize i'm ready to go back to my creative pursuits
-viewing an apartment today which means i'm closer to getting an apartment than i was last spring
-getting a little more comfortable wearing a little less clothing, such as clothes that are fitted without super covering up
-seeing my body looking a little more trim in clothes
-getting a call back from ebt card about not redetermining in time and getting it reloading and attempting to call back to reach a person. Hearing on the automated line that it's processing at least, my late redetermination.
-calling to ask questions about bankruptcy today
-deciding my new hair color i'm transitioning to, which will be very coppery, ditching any blonde left in my hair and almost even having orange to it
-reflecting on more of what i want my glo up to entail and what it needs
-my hyaluronic acid lip booster
-eyebrow makeup that thickens and darkens eyebrows
-new ideas
-entertainment
-humor
-funny videos
-clean socks
-cleaning the kitchen floor yesterday
-all the free alcohol i've been getting
-making more money this month than i will last month
-sunshine
-doing a toning/strength training workout at home. A treat to myself to do something normal that i havent been able to do because i've been so busy with all the stressful stuff
-models
-fashion
-M giving me money to uber to the courthouse
-my therapy session over the phone the other day, i think it helped
-that my psychiatrist is considering putting me on adderall/vyvanse
-blankets
-sleep when i can get it
-exploring my sensuality a bit to give S the erotic picture of me he wanted. It was very difficult, and I was kind of upset in the way that i didn't want to talk to him after but he was very happy with the pictures and it was good to see myself in new ways
-opening myself up to new ideas
-my humidifier
-applying to a bunch of apartments to tour tonight
-watching a few movies a couple times this last week
-dental floss
-staying calm as i can with all the crazy
-that i can donate plasma today
-that i get paid this week,i believe
-ibuprofen
-baby aspirin
-sedatives
-really getting more into my feminine energy this year
-listening to gamma brain waves and remembering how beneficial those are
-listening to crown chakra music last night and root chakra
-colors
-beauty
-how beautiful my cats are
-the help that's been coming to me
-allowing myself to become new and to rebuild
-protein bars
-having a kind heart
-having had some wild and interesting life experiences
-connecting with others
-taking things one day at a time
-being resourceful
-my cats making me laugh at how cute, funny, and innocent they are.

[buttercup]

-baby wipes
-vacuuming and the vacuum
-having plenty of cat food in the house, and that p cat likes
-my new hair color, and the hair color era i'm in
-cleaning wipes
-getting my eyebrows threaded today
-realizing what caused my weight gain of 3 lbs, that i had gotten my period again after 5 days and also taking only half the weight loss med again for a few days
-doing a toning workout yesterday and being really sore from it today
-getting a sign that maybe A does still have interest in me yesterday. He asked what i was doing tommorow. I gave a response that might've sounded like a blow off or non interested and then today after i texted him again he said something that sounded like he was covering himself from when he flaked on me that weekend, or holding onto it. Or, i'm giving him mixed signals when i'm just trying to be myself and be friendly. it did seem like there was an energy shift. He seemed really happy for me the other day then i didn't text him for 3 or 4 days because i was busy and when i did he asked what i was doing tomorrow and seemed really same vibe happy then today like he was trying to cover why he flaked on me that weekend down to the timing.
-earning income again
-charcuterie boards
-my winter coat and how stylish it makes me look
-getting a coffee today because it felt good to do so, and noticing what a mood boost it was, it was like the equivalent of a happy pill
-feeling more attractive lately and getting more attention from the opposite sex
-fashion
-makeup
-my beauty
-sleep
-amping up my finessing skills
-getting a screenshot showing i have good credit
-blankets
-how sweet my cats are
-the love in my heart
-deep reflection
-prayer
-watching a movie
-art
-romance
-my first career
-my cool experiences i've had
-my cool stories i have to tell
-the cool and interesting people i've met and know
-cuteness
-how smart my cats are
-learning
-rebuilding my life little by little
-working on getting a refund tonight
-drinking a little wine with my charcuterie i ordered
-trying new things
-newness
-the breeze from having a window open
-desire
-hope
-my femininity
-propranol when i'm able to take it, which isn't often. it's very relaxing.
-being a kind person.
-being considerate
-getting a lint brush at the store the other day
-clean socks
-my lip sleeping mask
-taking better care of myself than i was 6 months ago
-doing written affirmations last night
-colors
-learning more about myself
-hair ties
-looking like a model
-ordering a four leaf clover crystal for much needed luck
-being wanted
-ordering an allergan gift card
-putting aside $50 in savings and using the expedited feature

[buttercup]

-A and I being back with each other, talking like we were with each other again. My intuitions seemed to have been right, and after giving just a little bit of space and being myself, we somehow came back to each other like we never left including an acknowledgement of it during one of our arguments since. Some of the same past issues still have come up including him rescheduling and canceling and me doing the same, and some arguments and me doing something that made me feel like the devil which he forgave me for which i thought was really mature and he really does seem to remember just about everything since we met having paid attention to me and has said directly several times he wants a long term relationship with me and has basically made a reservation on me so i'm going to give this a chance still despite how frustrated it's been and my uncertainties of compatibility,etc
-ordering food today that's like thanksgiving food such as potatoes, carrots, etc
-somehow manifesting the neighbor J back in the picture after a bad night when my friend said things that made me feel awful, A canceled on me because of an argument, etc. He randomly called me, and I randomly picked up which i usually don't do to people i don't know well and when i'm not expecting it. Then, I randomly decided to meet up with him, despite it being last minute and looking awful and not having makeup on and not even caring, and despite how we last left things, then let him in my kitchen despite how my place is and that rule i have for this place, and we hung out, i got really drunk, i ended up letting him in my place, the rest of it and we were very physical, he wasn't dangerous at all. It was just very embarrassing i let him see how disgusting my place is. We passed out next to each other, and i woke up with him next to me. There was some things i was annoyed about. But, he got in my place and my ex and A did not and will not. There's something there. He has a niceness to him i like and a brokenness i feel we share. That night is something i feel i'll remember, it was something kind of forbidden, like the kind that felt like the feeling of 2 people sneaking about, and the exiting and entering.
-ordering a black sweater dress last week so i have something here to wear for a date or to go out in that's not in storage
-that the agency i work for paid me so i'd get paid before the holiday and pays for set up and break down time
-changing up my look
-coffee and how it boosts my mood
-music
-J neighbor liking my coat a lot saying i'm really wearing that coat
-my sense of style
-earning more money than i did last month
-cleaning a little earlier
-rebuilding my life, and that i'm trying
-chivalry and when men help women and carry my stuff for me, etc
-my ex calling the grant people to try and fix what went wrong with it
-adapting to working more
-learning more with public transportation
-makeup
-how cute my cats are
-beta blockers and using those occasionally to calm myself down when things get nerve wrecking or i need to slow my blood pressure or heart rate down
-remembering little things to remind myself how real the law of attraction is
-holding one of my favorite stuffed animals when i got home after my awful day and panic attack that left me feeling suicidal and dazed and falling asleep early
-watching some good movies the last few days
-that my social life has increased a little bit the last few months
-doing 40 minutes of yin yoga last night
-how much my cat's liking their bed
-that my weight is going down even though it's much slower than it should be
-losing 2 of the 3 pounds i gained
-changing up my look
-deciding to see my ex S that I wasn't ready to see before since he will be helping me and is. He was a jerk in a lot of ways but not the one way i feared
-my ex S liking my chest a lot and giving them a lot of attention caressing them and kissing them, making out with them in his car
-trying to take my vitamins more often
-finding a better way to handwash my clothes for when i really have to
-my therapist finding another rental assistance program that she emailed me about and contacting them
-inspiration
-baby wipes
-the body lotion i use that's very hydrating
-my humidifier
-meeting new people
-having goals
-blankets
-learning new ways of doing things
-laughter and humor
-healing and becoming more coherent
-sunshine
-nightskies
-nice views
-my lawyer being about to file a motion to quash
-my creativity
-compliments
-being considered really attractive and interesting
-showering more often, wearing makeup more often and just taking better care of myself than this time last year
-new experiences
-kissing J
-watching P cat walk out of his tunnel it's so cute and funny seeing him use it to navigate the living room
-having had some cool and interesting life experiences
-how smart and intuitive my cats are, they jumped out of their playpen when i spaced out and didn't shut it right away and i suddenly seen them on the ground below the porch and scooped them both back up. It was insane and surreal. They knew not to stray too far i believe and just wanted to have their fun.
-great deals
-random little money blessings like money in my account that doesn't make sense or not getting charge for a bag of cat food, etc
-my older friend i became introduced to in 2022, he's been an angel to me

[buttercup]

-snacks
-powerades and vitamin waters
-A's voice
-A's possessiveness's and being dominant, I think it's cute
-how much my cats love cuddling on each other and the cute pics i get from it
-not gaining any weight from eating over thanksgiving
-music and how powerful it is for connecting and taking you away
-how much i connect with my cats and they connect with me
-sleep
-finding a practically unopen ginkgo biloba bottle in my kitchen cabinet which is just what would help me and seeing some help i think so far from trying it
-getting a refund in my account and using it to order cat food and pay off an uber
-feeling more rested and catching up on things
-watching movies
-working more these days and confirming another job yesterday
-how much this new agency seems to appreciate their workers. They made sure we got paid a day early so we got paid before the holiday, i got paid extra for some reason despite seeing the hours add up so maybe it was a holiday bonus, they offer parking pay, etc
-getting a chemical peel and how clean my skin looks since
-having nice curves
-my baby face youthful features
-my humidifier
-A wanting me in a relationship way and seeing me, treating me like that and how nice it feels to be wanted like that
-selling another item off poshmark
-four leaf clovers
-prayer
-love
-taking care of my cats
-taking things one day at a time
-creativity
-baby wipes
-taking out the garbage yesterday
-reaching my goals
-helpers
-hope
-being smart
-learning
-relearning
-inspiration
-compliments
-compassion and empathy
-fashion
-art
-getting closer to my goals, even if in a lot of ways it doesn't feel like it
-reflecting on things and what's important to me
-cleaning the toilet and deep cleaning the bathroom some
-cleaning the living room some
-topamax for that it is doing something when i take it with the right amount and with wellbutrin
-looking for reassurances to my past pics helping
-mobile editing apps to help me look better in pics
-hoodies and sweaters
-new ways of doing things
-knowing quiet clears things up and brings clarity to situations, unfogs them
-newness
-being a reasonable person

[buttercup]

-getting jelly roll botox to fix up my eyes
- the cost ending up being free for my botox yesterday
-S coming out to take my stuff to the storage unit yesterday and watching him grab my stuff for me, open the unit for me, etc
-the weather getting a little warmer today
-things smoothing out with my job
-touching up my hair color and punching it up, though i'm not sure how i feel about the color now that i have
-losing weight and back down to the 19 lbs lost
-my skin looking clean
-unity
-conversations with others
-powerades and that delicious feeling of drinking down a lot at once
-how cute my cats are
-playing with my cats
-gingko biloba
-people and research online and perspective concurring my thoughts that what i found out about A is really messed up and a dealbreaker
-doing yoga
-my ex L contacting me that he will be in town and wants to hang out and do a project together
-finding out my food card will be back to normal next month
-watching movies
-sunshine
-reapplying for the rental assistance
-having conviction
-having great style
-my beauty
-sleep
-my appetite being smaller
-prayer
-my philosophical side
-meeting cool people
-feeling a little less overwhelmed
-trying to stay calm
-trying to rebuild
-reflecting on manifesting
-moisturizers
-blankets
-giving my cats treats

[buttercup]

-officially ending it with A after realizing i couldn't reconcile my feelings on things with him, and J neighbor having had been contacting me everyday after i texted him after i had the big fight with A. We talked a little about the night and he had contacted me pretty much everyday since, calling me a lot, and spending time at my house several times and i just realized it was him i choose and the whole time i was wanting it to be him. We grew some bond a little, he makes me laugh, doesn't judge me, and doesn't put on all these expectations for me to have of him. He seems to have care for me, and has changed.
-beautiful pictures of my cats from the past
-taking my vitamins
-upping my wellbutrin dose to help me focus today after the doctor canceled on me last minute and rescheduled for spring. Taking an extra ativan for anxiety, half a hydrocodone and ibuprofen plus my weight loss meds and i had some lovely peaceful quiet in my mind tonight. It was very nice.
-sweaters
-drinking some gotu kola tea tonight
-eating a lot less lately
-my body looking slimmer in photos
-loving my cats
-reversing aging and seeing it in photo comparisons
-my new hair color
-yoga
-having a great chest that men find really attractive and women think is too
-being more productive today
-manifesting what i want
-working more again
-botox
-manifesting J back.
-ginkgo biloba
-good movies
-having great style
-my new liquid eyeliner and how easy it is to apply
-the therapy places i reach out to when i need to talk and that i go to that have really helped the last week or so
-drinking more water and hydrating myself
-my new vitamin c cream i've been using and how amazing it's been
-seeing l cat and how great it felt to do that
-helping others when i can
-how great it felt to lay in J neighbors arms when he laid in my bed the other night
-sleep
-sunshine
-lint rollers
-cleaning
-seeing my grant say submitted, waiting for match which is more than last time when it got denied. It just said submitted last time.
-my four leaf clover stone.
-makeup
-chemical peels
-healing

[buttercup]

wow. so much changes so fast.
-that i was starting to see J be happy for me, take accountability for things, show care, and be a real person and not just some ghetto idiot or mean person like i thought over the summer. he displayed someone that has an intelligence and empathy, and made effort. overall, after reflecting on things it became glaringly obvious he liked me more than A actually. He put way more effort to see me, from constantly making excuses to see me, the silliest excuses it was insane, and constantly calling me and forgetting stuff here that in the moment was confusing but looking back i think i'll find it very romantic and sexy. I never had someone act like that before.
-powerades and vitamin waters and trying to drink more water
-trying to force myself to have more energy and focus
-hitting 23 lbs lost now
-nami support with all my confusion when i didn't know what to do with between A vs J and then after J made me feel not so great
-court going well and getting more time bought
-getting smile line filler
-looking thinner in photos
-that i manifested J back
-my vitamin c peptide cream
-getting a lot more attention from the opposite sex again and compliments which is a boost to my confidence admittedly
-my arms looking smaller
-speaking up to J in my way about how he made me feel and that he can't use me and him taking accountability and apologizing and saying i have every right to feel that way, etc
-yoga
-art
-my hair color
-manifesting random checks and other money out of nowhere
-poetry
-having good luck
-having a caring heart
-kind people
-new ideas
-new experiences
-cuteness
-love
-changing the litter box
-that i can say i have improved my life since last year even if i have a long way's to go, i can see a lot of growth and feel a lot more like myself
-entertainment
-being a winner
-irish cream liquors
-the wave texture my hair sometimes has
-beta blockers
-giving my cats treats
-laughing at life
-lights that go off on how to improve things
-cleaning wipes
-baby wipes
-my older friend sending me a cash app gift
-being a respectful person
-thinking positive
-prayer
-being unique
-having great style
-being a prize

[buttercup]

-seeing J's name everywhere after i "chose" him, though i don't know what it meant. A few days later I had to speak up about something to him and tell him the issue, and he took accountability and said sorry but didn't say why or that he'd stop and we kind of ended after that. Which made me start wonder what was the point in choosing him. Then in frustration the other day i was thinking what was the point he's not speaking to me, why did i choose him, he's practically ghost again and i was looking through receipts and like beaming neon lights calling out to me, his name flashed at me again on one out of nowhere affirming to me for some reason the universe seems to be telling me I did choose right. That's the message i'm getting.
-ordering a jacket that was inspired by me paying homage to J's style a little that i think is cute and i need a new jacket
-calming down and uplifting myself a little after the last few days of sulking and anxiety after getting deceived then fired
-starting some new year's resolutions
-seeing how much my weight blimped up in like 10 days in pics despite not doing anything except stress really,and sulking in better for a few days and that it can go down just as quick and the power of how quick i can make things change for the better
-after getting so stressed at my cat for acting crazy right when i was sulking and stressed wacking the blinds constantly for the last few days, realizing i need to appreciate him more and just compromise and give him more play time.
-the adorable and funny dirty look i caught b cat give me when he didn't get his when i got mad about the blinds when he was wacking them so i'd play with his chaser toy
-actually not getting charged a late fee for my storage unit for once
-my four leaf clover stone and the good luck it brings me
-getting smile line filler recently
-that for some reason guys seem to find me really attractive and i get a lot of attention from the opposite sex even when i'm super covered up, no makeup, and not showered.
-good movies
-music and the power it has
-ordering a lamp to improve the mood here
-catching J seeming to watch me recently when a neighbor randomly started talking to me when i was on the porch and nervously babbling and asked to sit by me. I thought J was at work and 10 minutes into this encounter his light suddenly goes on. I was laughing a lot sounding bubbly, probably flirty, but that's just how i am when i'm nervous and this guy was definitely trying to hit me up and J was trying to tell me something. I almost thought he was going to come out and say something. it was cute and flattering.
-going out to meet a friend dj-ing recently. I really needed to get out and have some kind of night out. I was losing my head. I got dressed up, wore my gucci bag and gucci belt, it was nice to be at a nice place and have drinks and just be out. Plus, J had said something before about "i need to socialize more" or something not getting or forgetting that i told him i withdrew from everyone and everything the last year and a half due to my health issues and weight gain. It's not like i'm not someone who hasn't had a full, thriving social life or knows many people so it felt good to kind of show him that because i tagged a pic of my outing on social media.
-J saying happy new year, the first text since we "ended" which was something at least
-telling J the rest of how i felt about things a few days before the new years text figuring it seemed like he might be ghosting me again, i may as well get closure and say the rest of how i felt about things with how he made feel that wasn't so great. It may have made him feel not so great but it needed to be said i think.
-meeting my goals
-that i actually did make a lot of progress last year, despite falling short of some things and having some things well fail
-fashion
-how wanted J made me feel. All the crazy excuses he made to see me, the calls, leaving his stuff here. The time we spent together.
-that i manifested J back. It kinda surprised me i did. I didn't think i even wanted to so much, or would and it just surprised me and happened like nothing but as a surprise too. At this point, in a way i feel like it's over, but in a way i feel like it'll never be over and i am just curious how our connection will further. and hope for some things but know i have to let go and move on now too because he drives me so crazy and if he's not talking to me then i can't be thinking about him except in designated time i maybe let myself at most
-how cute my cats are
-how much my cats love each other and that we are a family
-getting all my recaps done last night and this morning and closing off everything with that marketing agency
-getting paid a big check, which shows me again, i can do it, i can make good money. i did it before, it's not that hard.
-stretches
-that my food card is almost reloaded
-getting better at finessing
-my pca skin face wash
-inspirational videos
-hair ties
-my older friend J sending me a cash app the other day to cheer me up
-a girl i met at a job in october sending me a link to an app for work
-another friend sending me a link to something she did before that was hiring or might be
-my sense of style
-moving the bed to change the energy in my place
-clearing out a section of the living room to declutter/ empty it recently
-moisturizers
-having a caring heart
-being able to process things once things get a little quiet or i get out of my head a little
-finding some older pictures from work that are really cool that i dont remember seeing before
-realizing i want to open myself up to earning more money and feeling like i can
-my silver colored rain boots
-beauty
-art
-my femininity
-my desires
-inspiration
-the church stairs i like to sit at
-newness
-that i've evolved away from some of the bad from last year and year before
-being awoken to new things that excite me

[buttercup]

-feeling uplifted since letting A friend out of my life
-realizing after getting fired i need to stop lowballing myself with how much i'm getting paid and that i spent too much on transportation
-going to visit my feral cats
-taking b cat to the vet
-b cat and p cat doing so well at the vet. they were like perfect angels. So well behaved. didnt fuss or whine or squirm. Just let the nurse do their thing and sat there the whole time. It was amazing. No one would believe they ever cause trouble. It was like they were given weed or chill pills. It made me feel like a very proud cat mom.
-that B cat was pretty healthy and the visit went well and deciding to do the xray
-accomplishing some of my new year's goals already
-M getting back to me about the cats and the heat
-getting my tear trough filler finally which made me feel good
-manifesting an amazing deal on my tear trough filler which by the time i paid made it about half the price as a random surprise and my injector said i'm family
-my four leaf clover stone and the good luck it brings me
-prayer
-getting a big check the other week
-getting a random extra the next week which a nice extra manifestation
-having a caring heart
-deciding to go back to brunette
-after going no contact, after 6 days J contacting me like nothing and having a normal conversation with me sunday and asking if i'd be home later, which it seemed to be to fix things
-sweaters
-beautiful photos of myself from the days of my first career
-confirming a photo shoot and feeling ready to do it and like it'd be good for me
-ordering a 3rd lamp after not being able to put together the first 2 and getting refunded for them and this one will be a charm because it's already installed and is cool tube light, glow stick style. It costs more but it'll be worth and has a cool art gallery style look
-browsing the chanel store to look at wallets recently
-working on my new year's resolutions and reflecting on the last year
-after asking the universe for another sign, manifesting about 2 days later going through my email and understanding what my lawyer had sent me. It was indeed a paper to sign that means me staying at my apartment. Because of my recent circumstances it made the most sense now. Something keeps me tied here connecting to J longer as if i need to solidify more before i can move. It's strange but then after last night, it's confusing. Maybe it's all playing out the way it's supposed to though and this thing that happened last night is part of it. Hopefully it brings us closer because right now i'm hurt, and scared.
-baby wipes
-ordering a food puzzle for my cat after a suggestion from the vet
-that at least with the the new option of staying here i won't have to rely on my ex's help
-how hard my lawyer has been working for me
-makeup
-my dior balm tint in ultra pink
-sleep
-updating my resume last night
-cleaning the house last night
-doing ok at applying to jobs the last few days trying to find a new career or even get something in my current field
-ordering a new going out dress recently
-my cica sleeping mask
-my fresh sleeping scrub
-yoga
-my body looking a little slimmer the last few days
-watching a few movies on starz and hbo the last week or so
-my friend getting the gift i got him
-fashion
-getting a shade up on the other window
-showering
-M sending me money
-people thinking i have a baby face
-listing more items on poshmark
-posting more pics on instagram
-reassurances