-coffee
-muffins
-how great food has been tasting lately
-water
-how toned and sculpted my arms
-how tight my body is
-being able to blog again and how great it's actually been for me.i can't help it,i am someone who derives benefit from an outlet to express,it's a part of my being.
-E texting me last night.it actually dipped my mood a little bit after though.it happened after some great advice i got from my book im reading that clicked with me and made me understand things in a whole new way,and it came straight after i blogged about E.i started to sense right when i think he read it. a few days after the first post,and about a day or two after the 2nd post. it was weird how i sensed that.i didn't think he'd go to it right away june 1,i assumed he'd be too busy to even think to.and he was busy and out of town,but around the time i noticed he got back,was when i got that feeling. sure enough,two days after i got that feeling,i got a text and before that text signs he was thinking about what to do. i'm flattered he is checking out the blog. the text was so mundane,that at first instinct,i was knew it was because of the blog,and even felt fearful,like i wasn't ready which was stupid of me,but then it was such a mundane text that i felt better. until after,when i got mad about it. i even started questioning it thinking maybe he just was using me and really wanted to know. like,you and me have hardly hung out lately,and you ask me that? it's weird. it was a question he could've asked the guy friend he hangs out with and talks to more then me who would know the answer and who if he is doing this thing,would probably be helping him with that anyways,so it was just a really weird pointless text. the fact that he could've asked that guy,and it would make more sense to and i'm sure he'd already be working with him on that anyways and wouldn't need my help in the slightest just made it seem like the obvious,oh he's looking for an excuse to say something to me and i replied saying not really,maybe so and so would know. it's just is it so hard to just try having a normal conversation with me asking how am i,or inviting me out like he used to? he's very blocked. i just got so mad later thinking about this. then,i had empathy and realized,you never know someone's story.i know he isn't very experienced with dating. i read something online that said for all you know a guy may have never asked a girl out. and to forgive them for their blunders. and,i KNOW from seeing how he is,that he is clueless and super scared with talking to girls. like he's extremely fearful. it's weird. and doesn't make sense. and,so i think that kiss must have meant a lot to him,more then i know. but he is just such a jerk to me. having always treated me less special then everyone else around,that all i can think is,with all that,he better be in love with me. the best thing is,i cleared a lot of energy blockages I had about the situation with me and him,and feel no rush now for us to hang out again,and trust there is no need to rush,and all is well. i'm grateful he texted me. and that i chose to blog in vague about him. i needed to let that out. i'm starting to sense him more then ever in why he does things and how he panics in his mind. my new thing now is whenever something happens to remind me of him,i listen to the song,i deemed that reminds me of us that i love.
-sitting on the porch,nightskies,and how amazingly high it raised my vibration the other night.it shot me straight into the vortex thinking of all the summetime things i want to do,the possibilties,and how summer blooms and is lucid and is the best time for manifesting because it's the season most on your side for it. that was huge,from that point on,i felt limitless again and like this summer is going to be amazing
-identifying a limiting belief recently i had that was bigger then i thought that just came to me easily,and that after that,my vibration also really rised ever since. that and the porch session happened same night i think,or around same time,and i've been so happy ever since.
-that night my friend flaked on me,and L stopped speaking to me,i felt miserable,and went for a drive. i had this heightened awareness in my pain of why these things happened,that gave me solace,and healing realizing deep down i didn't want to go that party not in that way,and things like how certain things happened because i enjoy the drama of it,and at some time wanted it,and just seeing how my thoughts create.i hadn't experienced a heightened awareness like this since like 2009 or so. i literally looked my demons in the face.i remembered how everything now,is from what i wanted in the past,and there's a time gap between manifesting and how that's why gratitude is important,because when we forget to be grateful for now,were forgetting we at one time wanted what's in our lives.from then on,i realized i had a lot and more then i realized and started seeing abundance again and feeling plenty. i realized just because i don't have some things i want,doesn't mean,i can't be really really grateful for what i do have right now. that night i didn't go out,i decided to rent a movie and chose. the movie was weird but then some parts really spoke out to me suddenly very much and one of the authors in particular. it was like exactly what i was going through,and was like a spiritual experience similar to 09,like life was speaking to me.i then bought one of his books.i'm grateful for all of this,and for a little later after that,at the park,having the feeling that everything is as it should be,and may happened for a reason,and things are going to get better.i just felt an acceptance and surrender.i realized someone like the girl who flaked on me is someone i don't really super want to hang with anyways. she is lower vibe in a lot of ways.i didn't like that i bought ticket to a party i could've went to for free and then didn't even go. so,of course,i wasn't even in alignment with going. it all made sense. i learned a lot from that ending of may and first few days of june that started with me calming and becoming aware and then my vibration shooting up and being really high ever since. a little more patience then usual was key with this one. may was very intense is why
-the gratitude i even felt for L,even though he disappeared and others,who allowed me to share a moment of pain i deemed petty and told me that wow,that is a big deal,and gave me a moment of prescence. that was very healing
-the book i got in the mail and how amazing it is.i didn't know i could feel high from a book,but it was that good so far
-yoga and finally having a yoga flow sequence of my own that takes up about 15 minutes
-changing my workout again to a way i like
-new music and how fun that is
-cool pictures,and things to discover
-cool art,fashion videos,songs,and so on
-all the momentum going on in the vegan community right now
-finally finding an aloe vera plant. and less then $2 bucks a leaf. funny how that,and the E text came when i felt very high vibration,no cares in the world,and completely non-expectant. that time on the porch really did something to me,along with certain things in my book that clicked for me explaining old things in a way i grasped better then ever before that made it a cinch to apply
-removing limiting beliefs. my new thing is to every so often,do something to identify one.i figure even just finding one a month to clear would lead to a lot change.
-all the fun things i've already done since the weather got warmer.i do have abundance
-getting inspired and having M make a page so i can preview it on ig,that is meaningful and looks amazing and something i'm excited to share.
-deciding i will find a way to officially share my vegan story,since i never have yet
-meditation sessions on the porch
-feeling more safe and secure again
-deciding to get some work done today and be focused and productive
-upcoming job this weekend and transportation all figured out that is easy
-how tan my skin is now
-going for a healing walk in the forest recently
-going to an italian restaurant closeby recently
-having wanted to try vegan pizza back in january and how have tried several times. the little things of manifesting.
-that i'm working out more again and sweating
-my first career
-getting my time of the month,because it's always relaxing
-that mercury does direct now
-chakra healing musics
-being myself
-transforming myself
-seeing inspiration all around me like E doing this amazing thing recently that sounds so fun that's basically a camp for adults where you go do outdoor activities and have parties at night with dj's and seeing this one girl who does what i do who got into it much later then me at like the age of 34 or 36 posting how she uses to live a very conservative life,dress very conservative,etc and how she didn't even go to a club for the first time until she was 34 and she is someone i see posting pictures at the club all the time(she has to be about 36 or 37 now judging on when i met her and her age then) and she looks hot,like a playmodel model so it shows that there's people all around me doing things despite the limits society puts on us. As long as I still want to do things,i will find a place for me. i don't need to rush things to happen,i can just smile and be inspired by those around me while following my path.
-summertime and wonderful summer vibes
-italian ice
-finding life interesting and fascinating
-books
-nightskies
-clouds,the sky,summertime rain,and taking pictures of it
-flowers,colors,and the vibrancy of life
-being inspired by those i've met,and those around me instead of feeling disempowered. i've felt too disempowered lately comparing to those around me and feeling hopeless instead of being me,following my path,and being inspired by the amazing people i've met. i've met and know people doing amazing things despite society's limits and that makes me feel amazing
-feeling filled with life
-amazing thing to look forward to
-best friend getting an amazing animal advocacy hat
-enjoying life,and the unfolding of it
-being smart
-being deemed as sexy
-how great my teeth are
-how blessed i am
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Originally Posted by newfreedom
and,it feels so good.i'll miss that more innocent girl who had something special but couldn't see it fully and wondered why people took interest in her,and had desires.i'll miss that girl who started to come into herself more and had an ego,but questioned herself internally still. but,i'm loving the girl who embraces confidence,AND recieving,and knows herself,her worth,her value.
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