GRATITUDE LIST

[buttercup]

-stylish music
-pleasant,soothing poetic music
-the sun and warmer weather today and enjoying some sun healing and how uplifting it was
-being able to keep the door open
-feeling physically not well last night and today inspiring me to get it together with diet and exercise. felt like i almost pulled my back today. been having neck pain. dairy hangover. eyes feeling tired.
-clothes fitting loser despite eating awful the last few days and doing less exercise
-wonderful page finished by creative director today
-feeling observant and reflectful of life
-feeling more ready to move forward and go with the flow
-taking a risk today
-ideas
-that life is a story
-apple cider donuts
-coffee
-water
-mason jars
-the meaning in my life
-serendipity
-inspiration
-finding videos online from cool vloggers who inspire me and uplift me and resonate with me so much
-attractive men
-reminding myself to stay decisive
-afformations
-all the amazing things i've accomplished. i'm far more successful then i realize sometimes
-men who respect women
-people who are paving the way and carving new positive paths,innovators,trendsetters and such
-vegans
-photography
-all the cool things i've done in my life
-becoming accepting of life
-imagining myself as beautiful,and how unique and striking i really am
-me,myself,and my traits
-my desires,including my desire for soul growth
-feeling overall much more pleasant lately
-the mysteriousness of the universe and detaching myself from needing to figure it all out
-how early in the day it still is
-deep breathing

[buttercup]

-going tanning today,my eyes feeling secure and the vitamin d boost it gave me and mood boost
-the weird thing with the social app and what it showed me about D right after i checked in
-french toast sticks and syrup and coffee
-the love song i wanted to start singing from being in a good mood and having it pop in my head
-taking a risk and contacting the person who inspires me for work thing
-videos that inspire me and that are metaphysical and remind me of being ambitious and the true nature of reality
-healing,self love and wellness and following what feels good.
-clean clothes
-my desire to move cross country
-that we live our lives as stories and how truly i see this
-my eyebrows and how great they look
-looking thin today and how great my body looks today
-carbohydrates
-my desire to try more raw veganism into my life
-my desires in general
-blankets
-heat
-my neighborhood
-memories and also remembering the feelings of those memories
-ideas
-that it's still early

[buttercup]

-feeling in such a great mood today!
-getting the protein drinks made
-protein drinks!
-having a place to live
-letter project being done and looking perfect and i really did a good job
-interview for more work confirmed
-person i took a risk to contact for work said yes!
-seen an amazing interview offer at a favorite club with a famous person in my inbox so got that which is great,i had just been thinking i'd like to do an event again soon
-seeing A the guy i really like and have for some time posting more things online that i just know is too drive me crazy,either we are really in tune or he is really keeping tabs on me,or most likely both.i really adore him. he has everything i want in a guy.
-how sexy guys can be!
-my pep!
-feeling love
-amazing journaling session last night where i realized i've been assuming too much and that it's time to let go of that and the beauty that can happen when you do and how it takes you to a no expectations mindset doing that which ends up bringing exactly what you desire anyways
-heat
-feeling confident and decisive
-keeping and sticking with my vision
-vitamins
-soothing upbeat music
-that project is almost done
-feeling loved and adored exactly as i am,even with my craziness and annoyingness
-how the more you love yourself,the more loved you feel by others
-soul connections
-the feeling of dejavu
-the feeling that something amazing is about to happen.i feel it in my bones. i'm right where i should be.
-that best friend is becoming more ambitious and that learning a great way to get this out of him is to aim twice as high,he then always ends up reaching higher as a compromise
-that november has overall been going pretty well
-being and feeling beautiful
-interconnectedness and oneness
-that all is well,all is really well
-my city
-the people i know and meet,i know such cool,interesting people and have access to more interesting,cool people then the average person and for that i am grateful
-knowing it's all going to work out
-relaxing,surrendering,and healing
-afformations
-enthusiasm and motivation
-energy and the dance and flow of energy and things that help me get back on track understanding it,understanding how to heal the flow of energy when it feels blocked and how to trust the flow of energy when it doesn't feel like it's going "my" way
-ab exercises. they feel so good and really make me feel nice and open
-high protein diet and getting in all high protein for the day and how good it makes me feel

[outofbodydude]

I understand that my advice probably doesn't resonate with you at this point in your life or spiritual journey, but I do believe there will come a time when you realize that these superficial or mentally/emotionally fabricated pleasures that you have been appreciating do not provide you a lasting or satisfying happiness, as although you have compiled such a large list of things to be happy about, each one of these things is impermanent and you may find in a relatively short amount of time that many of these things no longer exist or no longer apply. You may find yourself endlessly making these lists, looking for more and more reasons to be happy in all the wrong places. Appreciation is great if it is used skillfully, otherwise it may lead to further attachment and delusion, and thus further stress and suffering of various degrees.

I believe that the key to discovering one's true spiritual nature and finding the source of a true unconditioned happiness is not to focus on the temporary pleasures of the material world, but rather to release one's attachment to them and see their true nature as impermanent and unsatisfactory. The more focus and importance is given to these temporary phenomena, the more one becomes reliant on them to provide happiness, a happiness which is unsatisfactory by nature, as it is superficial and/or temporary.

I would recommend contemplating the impermanent nature of these items on your list, and the fact that they are incapable of providing a lasting happiness. Also, contemplate the nature of your desires and the stress and craving they cause, even if it is subtle or superficially unrecognizable. Perhaps this will lead to a realization that deeper spiritual teachings and practices are needed to become liberated. Take care.

[buttercup]

-chips
-water
-indie music
-hitting up my first local bar which may be my new local bar. so cheap!
-being young
-red wine
-getting back at D for the awful things he said to me last night and the clarity i finally got
-the perfect getting back at D and all the laughter that ensued and the responses i got back from him after my work on that epic text i sent him and thinking i may just mess around with him him for a month now to get back at him for how he strung me along for all of october and then said what he said last night and deciding defintiely not responding to his last texts
-my creative director laughing with me at d's ridiculousness
-bars
-deciding maybe i do need to be less sexually frigid
-being crazy
-learning about life
-project 19 finally getting released!
-all the affirmation i got about A really digging me last night. three times a charm,and not just that,but that he may love me
-feeling in an overall positive mood today
-throwing rebounder out
-pastries
-wintery things
-living life
-social apps
-feeling in an overall good mood today
-all the positive attention i draw when i'm out and about in public,even when i'm dressed down. strangers look at me so much and do strange things even. it can get awkward but it's good to be attractive. and knowing if i was out with D it'd be same thing.
-being beautiful
-laughter
-booking a job today!
-all the ideas that come to me
-black maryjanes shoes
-my neighborhood
-expansion
-heat
-warm showers
-feeling well
-getting asked out on another date. not interested in the person but it's nice to be asked out
-fun
-ambition
-feeling good

[buttercup]

-heat
-blankets
-my phone
-my computer
-my eyebrows and how great they look
-unique and interesting beauty
-women who have a really unique look and are very attractive and how inspiring it is
-self acceptance
-tanning beds
-how uplifted my mood has been overall lately
-realizing how fake people are and lie about things which has been a positive as i see some things now to not worry about as they are pointless since they are lies
-my intuition
-new ideas on what to post on my instagram
-being a woman and feeling very feminine
-A,i love him and know he loves me even if it's only on a soul level he cant comprehend consciously.i appreciate him having a crush on me.
-my child-like appearance and projection
-being me and being unique
-being sexy
-realizing everybody has "flaws" and still is super successful despite it
-photos
-mobile photo apps
-my ideas
-my desires
-a flattering thank you from an artist
-the wonderful abundance in my life
-being easy on myself
-winning this D thing
-music that speaks exactly what's going on with you at the time
-how great i've felt all month
-deciding to start relaxing since everyone is so fake anyways and that it's just even more of a reminder to follow what feels right for me and what i want to do and my path and timing
-things that attract my eye
-talking with friends

[buttercup]

-comfortable clothing
-feeling in a mostly pleasant mood
-being mostly over D
-signs something is coming
-how amazing A is and how much it inspires me to be better
-inexpensive clothing
-food
-heat
-ideas
-creativity
-mischief
-carefulness
-all my accomplishments
-my vision
-talent
-how uniquely striking and attractive i am
-my ways of seeing the world
-recognizing when my patterns of thinking are going ocd and that it's no longer real and being able to observe that and learn
-that i got project 15 in the mail today and i was nervous about one thing printing well but it printed so fabulous and made my day
-massages
-scalp massage
-holistic healing
-motivation
-knowing what i want
-how much more balanced my moods have been since going to the tanning beds for the first time
-learning
-lip balm
-deciding what i really need to do is stop one job i feel i've outgrown and carve out a new path for myself financially
-mixing things up
-my desires
-that i have plenty of time to meditate and get organized tonight
-how fantastic my eyebrows look
-confidence in myself
-my kind heart
-continually working on forgiving myself
-metaphysics and my understanding of reality
-being me,my interests,and unique personality

[buttercup]

-soothing uplifting music
-best friend getting a little more ambitious
-how my moods seem much more uplifted since starting to go to tanning beds
-coffee
-healing your past meditations
-sweaters
-weather being slightly warmer today
-getting groceries today. nice to pick up more things i need including iron vitamins and mixing up the thing i get slightly
-trying out the other grocery store as well today down the block which was funny and didn't work out so well. but at least i tried it and my curiosity is now satiated.
-the delicious high protein and high in vitamin a dinner i will have tonight
-the one somewhat decent grocery store my neighborhood has,which happens to be one of the very few things my neighborhood has going for it
-laughter
-ideas
-being inspired
-allowing A and even J as well to inspire me and make me become better
-afformations and positive questions to ask myself
-mysterious people
-people in general who just inspire me by living unique lives and lives that are just cool,and themselves
-reminding myself and learning to be myself more and more
-good stylish music
-me,myself,my tastes,my personality
-being amazing
-throwing out more things
-mobile phone apps
-the internet
-facebook
-getting an seo boost for one of my business's pages
-feeling my feelings
-embracing the seasons
-physical exercise
-the mysterious
-creativity
-art
-positive thinking
-faith
-connection&interconnection

[buttercup]

-making my 5 bananas smoothie. trying to implement a smidge of raw veganism in my diet again to combat any urges to get lazy and end up eating dairy
-feeling so good again today
-getting work done
-getting a possible offer for a side job thing of only working a few hours a week,which is exactly what i want
--my best friend and how amazing he is
-being able to express myself
-being me
-my hair and how lovely it is
-feeling determined and even mischievous and feisty
-tecnho music
-how amazingly well i feel
-starting the first step towards new business idea last night
-feeling ambitious yet soft and feminine
-having more energy yesterday and getting a little more done
-when starting to get overwhelmed by one thing,remembering it's only taking place of something else and how do-able it is,and easy and beneficial
-my creative director
-my visualization meditations last night and how great they made me feel
-hedonism
-sleep
-my job,my first job and how glamourous it is and validating for my looks and my dream job
-my motivational life coach attitude
-physical exercise
-how open my chakras feel
-vegan food
-my confidence
-allowing myself to dream and dream bigger again
-keeping myself focused
-my apartment feeling warm

[buttercup]

-going tanning today
-being fearless enough to ask questions to get the experience i desire
-realizing A loves me and how much it touched me to think of that last big sign i got from him and finding an article to get more info about what it meant,that thing he had said.and how it made me feel and how profound it just changed me
-water
-heat
-a new pic for my personal tumblr blog.i love how i always keep my profile pic somewhat anonymous and mysterious looking to fit the feel of the blog
-being sexy
-being around and knowing other sexy people
-living a sexy life
-getting the dishes done
-science
-quantum physics
-seeing how i changed for A and keep doing so and he keeps changing for me and how it makes my heart sing this dance of entanglement
-my sensitivity
-serendipity
-hot tea
-french toast sticks and coffee for breakfast. delicious
-finding a vegan cafe i want to go to this week. it's a little further,the next neighbhorhood over,but i really want to try some vegan pastries
-the mystery of life and how we all change and grow and the interconnectedness of it.i just feel such a oneness lately
-not needing to rush
-D texting me today a short text basically a shy way of saying what's going on with me. lol. which gave me more courage to go through with my plan that i executed about an hour ago of sending my next wacky vengeance text that was very hilarious.i cracked up laughing thinking of it last night and sending it an hour ago
-feeling and knowing there's someone out there who has a crush on you. it's very validating
-fashion and style
-thinking i may even contact A for a work reason since i would love to do that,too anyways and have wanted to
-just feeling more fearless lately
-calming myself down when getting fearful again earlier about things
-inspiration around me
-feeling young
-my coat
-tights
-happy animal stories that make me feel good
-reading about interesting people online that gives me new ways of looking at things and affirmation
-meditation
-healing
-the universe
-pondering
-all the cool talent all around me
-the internet
-all the amazing things i come to realize about A
-sweaters
-getting a little work done today and making some decisons
-amazing possibilities for work project that will look amazing and high end
-my best friend
-how great my feet feel since taking a break from the cardio workout i had been doing since august. change and breaks are good.
-beauty
-being a woman
-the joy of femininity
-understanding people
-ideas
-evolution