GRATITUDE LIST

[buttercup]

-letting life unfold. G came in today,and i met the owner and my boss came in,and sure enough,i was right,G tried asking my boss to something,and she seemed busy and he seemed flirty to her,and then later she said she probably won't be here next week,which makes me wonder if it's because of him and that's why she had been missing. perhaps avoiding him,and spending her time at the other studio instead. I felt insecure and like a little nerd as I colored in my coloring book with him talking to her,then him commenting on my coloring book. He said something that was friendly or could've been flirty when he first walked in to me and definitely thoughtful,but regardless my boss is obviously his first choice and she has confidence and competancy whereas i come off shy and awkward and childish.i am grateful for letting this all unfold though,because even today felt like it happened for me. and,it was good seeing my boss again. she is the only one who noticed i cut my hair without me saying something about it.
-inspiration
-having money in my account
-M giving me a ride to work
-M saying she will put money in my account for me soon
-doing my skip soda day today and feeling like by next week i can probably handle skipping 3 days a week.
-entertainment
-my eyeglasses
-walking around the city for half an hour after work
-pillows
-ginger candies
-rose oil in my diffuser
-trusting life
-water
-stretches
-naps
-biscuits i got today
-my phone
-deep cleansing breaths
-makeup

[buttercup]

-movies
-sertraline
-getting myself a cheeseless pizza and having a soda with it
-stretches
-getting the room cleaned and how much that boosted my mood
-rest
-naps
-knowing what i want
-cupcakes
-spending some time with the light gray kitten and bringing her in the house and cleaning up her eyes and cuddling with her
-my phone
-getting some cute pics of the kitten
-having a nice sized chest
-rose hip oil
-kindness and how that gives meaning to my life
-that i get to work tomorrow
-the money in my account
-my beauty
-how great my eyebrows look
-getting my promo materials and business cards in the mail yesterday and how amazing they look
-having hard seltzer last night and how good it was
-new bowls for the cats from leftover promo materials from other work i do
-the internet
-my job yesterday
-how much calmer and capable i've become of doing things i used to get a lot more anxious about before
-nightskies
-laughing
-water
-feeling secure
-feeling abundant
-my diffuser
-hope and things that cheer me up
-my poise

[buttercup]

-essential oils
-sunshine
-my strength
-being able to work today
-yoga pants
-being more confident and competant at things that used to cause me much more anxiety
-being smart
-my phone
-eyeliner
-soda
-water
-stretches
-cake pops
-macarons
-the cat family that comes to the yard
-kindness
-ordering 3 books last night so i'll be stocked up for a bit on things to read
-having a crush,because i think it's good for me
-nightskies
-working in fashion
-updating my resume and applying for more jobs tonight
-coffee
-rest

[buttercup]

-beauty role models
-inspiration
-the diffuser in my room
-lavender
-being in a better mood today
-going for a bike ride to the doctor and how good it felt to move my body and get some sun
-soda
-getting off seroquel
-fashion
-yoga pants
-cupcakes
-vegan food
-getting more things organized
-getting work done
-cats
-deep cleansing breaths
-being able to see
-vitamins
-fun
-the internet
-my phone
-rosehip oil

[buttercup]

-uber
-an amazing uber price on my way to my plans tonight
-going out tonight and being social for the first time in months and how good that felt and how confidently i handled it
-the neon yellow top i wore which looked so chic
-cocktails and sangria
-essential oils
-the nightlight in my room
-pepsi
-water
-getting the kitten in the house today and applying more herbal eyewash to her eyes
-my eyeglasses
-cupcakes
-stretches
-that my anxiety does seem to have dramatically lessened since taking seroquel
-the internet
-meditating today
-trusting God's timing
-sending more emails for jobs
-trying out some new makeup today and loving how it worked
-getting my color deepening treatment in the mail today
-the nightlight in my room
-vitamins
-my new boots i wore today which looked so chic
-kindness
-surrender
-prayer
-adding more things to my intention/would like to manifest list after getting a feeling it'd be good to do
-having no work tomorrow

[buttercup]

-water
-healthy digestion
-doing a kind act which felt so good. we were able to get the little kitten and so we brought her to an animal hospital to get checked up that had good vibes and got her meds and during the trips got some help on what to do and ideas for the other cats and someone willing to even come and help plus enough medicine we can even use on the other new kitten. the doctor was great and only charged us for the meds since it was a rescue. the kitten was so well behaved. things like that bring meaning to my life.
-coffee
-pepsi
-food
-sunshine
-nightskies
-how cuddly the older of the mom cat's kid is that we call "wolfie." He loves cuddles and baby talk so much.
-the color deepening treatment having a great effect on my hair
-eye makeup
-feeling so much more calmer and anxiety free lately
-stretches
-being beautiful
-the internet
-laughing
-naps
-grapeseed oil which i've been using on my face
-inspiration
-forward movement
-vitamins
-headphones

[buttercup]

-life moments that make me go hmm and feel like winks from the universe or serendipity. Today,I either just felt like I wasn't going to see G today or had resistance towards it. I meditated and had great insights come to me. Then,my boss shows up even though she said she probably wouldn't be in today. I then after more time think,ok G isn't going to show up. Maybe my boss let him down and now he doesn't want to show up for awhile but then shortly after,he walks right in,only says hi to me,then goes over to her and they talk quietly for a few minutes. Couldn't make out what they were saying but it seemed as if they were clicking and maybe she actually did have interest in him. After all this time,if he still is coming to talk to her,there must be something she is giving him of interest or maybe they now hit it off and before she wasn't interested. I felt disappointed as it seems by now,me and him are on a hi/bye only talking with each other at this point. I try to let go and just tell myself the right one for me will be even better then i can imagine,etc,etc and to just stay open to newness. Even still,I was feeling a little grouchy and insecure at this point.After work,I go for a walk around the city as per my goals and knowing walking around will also help me feel better. i finally find the train station and a snack place I want to try which is great,and also by now feels blase to me,meeting this goal. As I'm almost back to work to be picked up,right as I cross the street G is there crossing to the other side. And,it was right after I had a thought about him,a superficial and petty one,and then I literally look up and see him and he says hi very friendly to me and I then say hi back and we keep walking. A small mundane moment,but it felt like something. Like the universe is trying to put him in my pathway. Oddly enough from an loa standpoint,a few times I had wondered if i'd ever see him walking around outside work in the city.And,so now manifested that. It was a cinematic moment,too. Me walking across the street downtown in the city and the sexy young business guy i have a crush on crossing my path and us greeting each other. As incredibly mundane as the moment was,it just felt like something to pay attention to. Not to mention,ever since he has reappeared a few weeks back,I now literally see him everytime I work which feels like something,too from the universe. I mean,I meet him,then don't see him for weeks,then he reappears and now I see him every time.
-pepsi
-water
-M asking me if i want anything from starbucks before she brought me to work and getting me cakepops and a mocha frap made vegan. i love them so much.
-M bringing me to work
-setraline
-key-lime slime twinkies. so good.
-rose oil
-the diffuser in my room
-loving what i do for work
-the fan in my room
-healthy digestion
-finishing my article today
-getting my let it go wooden block in the mail. funny,i ordered it last week when I was bummed about the G situation last week,and got it today after today's G situation
-meditation
-meditative insights
-laughing and comedy
-my phone
-kindness and empathy
-helping the little kitten with her eyes
-the cats that come to the yard
-working tomorrow
-finding the train station today that's closest to my work
-finding the place i want to try today by my work
-yoga
-grapeseed oil
-makeup
-being productive
-feeling relaxed
-push up bras
-G at the yoga studio
-sleep
-letting life unfold
-my phone
-cats

[buttercup]

-finally booking another job. got a notice i was unbooked today but told i'd get on another one instead and this time it'd be more days which is even better,and then all day i waited,and finally after doing some yin yoga and then playing with the cats,i got the confirmation. i can finally relax about money for the month.and things did work out even better when i just let it all play out.
-yin yoga
-working today
-being attractive
-pepsi
-my style
-key lime slime twinkies
-being productive
-the kitten we took to the vet the other day's eyes getting better
-getting my book the yoga of time travel in the mail today
-naps
-having pretty much no anxiety these days lately
-nightskies
-summer sounds
-grapeseed oil
-makeup
-my cheekbones

[buttercup]

-yin yoga
-vitamins
-water
-makeup
-cupcakes
-the diffuser in my room
-my ambition
-soda
-hard seltzer
-grapeseed oil
-the internet
-sending out more emails
-an agency being interested in meeting with me
-my phone
-the cats that come to the yard and how happy they make me
-my face looking nice and young
-laughing
-my beauty
-doing a little reading today
-nightskies
-inspiration
-being thin
-chlorophyll
-my kind heart
-meditation
-prayer
-doing a little visualizing today

[buttercup]

-S being nice to me in email when i felt really down and emailed him
-going to the pool today even though i felt really low
-M being very nice to me in text
-M buying me new jeans today and a lunch tote
-peanut butter cookies
-M buying me vegan pizza for dinner
-the beautiful night skies
-water
-sweaters
-relaxation
-yin yoga
-coming home and seeing 3 huge beautiful outdoor house/shelters for the cats. Easily,at least 3 cats can fit in each one. Apparently,M's husband seen they were only $5 a pop and couldn't pass up that deal and so got them. What an amazing manifestation. I've been wanting something like this for the cats!
-the smell of chlorine in swimming pools
-getting a surge of inspiration last night about career and where i want to focus more of my energies
-finding out info about the financial assistance i receive that was very reassuring
-yoga pants
-M giving me money to pay off rest of my bill balance tonight.-
-my mood improving