GRATITUDE LIST

[buttercup]

-rest
-being done with work
-freedom
-working with products i support
-how amazing life is in taking care of us
-eating lunch and having wine with my lunch after my first job and how nice it was to do that
-doing my anxiety challenge of going from job 1 to 2 and carrying all the stuff i did and handling that
-my mind feeling quieter lately. i'm not sure which med causes it,but it's almost like a pleasant spaced out feeling.
-becoming more confident
-new goals and things i want
-all the awesome things i've manifested recently
-coffee
-how much money i'm earning lately and how amazing it is
-all the compliments i get
-my attractiveness
-putting more funds to my setaside account for my next thing i'm saving up for now that i got the other thing last week
-fashion
-the internet
-comfortable clothes
-my eyeglasses
-red wine
-good food
-my kindness
-inspiration
-the cute little newborn kittens exploring today
-nightskies
-being sent a table for work which is so nice
-seeing how life is always working out for me

[buttercup]

-healthy digestion
-my eyeglasses
-almond milk
-bananas
-chlorophyll
-solar plexus chakra and theta musics playlist
-finding perfect new songs to listen to
-getting my reporting done
-being done with work and no work tomorrow
-my mind feeling quieter and more mellow lately
-doing some mirror affirmations today
-style
-the whites of my eyes looking brighter
-selling a lot of product today at my jobs
-my cheekbones
-finding the pepsi ginger i really like at a store today and buying it
-ghee butter
-my favorite cozy,funky purple pants
-the new chic work pants i've been wearing lately
-beautiful nightskies and fresh air
-the cats that come to the yard and how much joy it brings me seeing the kitten who had the eye issue before being healed and happy now. He has such beautiful eyes and isn't very afraid of us anymore. there was even a time a week ago or so where he was curled up on the top step of the porch purring as i petted him.
-my skin looking so great lately and young
-cute socks
-appreciation
-really great articles i come across online
-coffee
-people who are easy to work with
-hip stretches
-water
-my strength
-feeling happy
-feeling relaxed
-my beauty

[buttercup]

-good food
-yoga
-chlorophyll
-naps
-getting more things organized
-the internet
-hope
-water
-one of the kittens returning
-ghee butter
-how bright my eyes are looking lately
-how smooth and young my skin is looking
-feeling like a new me
-doing some journal/reflection writing today

[buttercup]

-getting my colonic done with today
-good food
-getting a lot of reading done today
-feeling relaxed
-coffee

[buttercup]

-water
-watching some episodes of a TV show i like online
-my job at the yoga studio
-sleep
-kittens
-hope
-fashion
-yoga pants
-quiet
-doing some reflective writing today at the yoga studio
-sweets

[buttercup]

i get so lost and confused sometimes.i go back and forth with hating ex-best friend and thinking so low of him and wondering if he is a sociopath to feeling empathy and sad and guilty that i ruined him.i made him hate me so much that he lost all care for me. he would not care if i dropped dead. and,then other times,i think he did the most generous thing he could've ever done to me and made me hate him so i could accept the gift. today i learned his parents met up with him and he was actually alone. this made me feel kind of good. they were so shocked his girlfriend wasn't there. his parents have been pushing for me to be able to co-exist with him,and it seems the universe is popping him close to me from time to time as well with near misses or him seeing me or me seeing him or hearing his voice,that kind of thing.i think its more his manifestation then mine.
-deleting D's number. I kept thinking he liked me. I felt a pull towards him and he'd look at me like i'm magic. in his eyes,he seemed warm..concerned. but,he is just nice. it's better this way. what could've really happened anyways with him.
-being given more money today
-getting paid for working even though i couldn't do my job today at no fault of mine
-water
-my style
-fashion
-pinterest
-the delicious pizza slice i had today
-pepsi
-coffee
-my eyeglasses
-doing some practice driving today
-being so much more confident and fearless in ways then before. i feel like i'm not even me anymore.i can walk through a crowd like nothing whereas before,even if not in a state of anxiety,i was just thinking so much and so much more self conscious
-allowing myself to feel attraction and just have crushes again. maybe i'm really close to dating someone again. that would be nice.
-beautiful rain clouds.
-kittens
-how much younger my skin looks when i take my omega supplement.
-pinterest
-heart chakra and theta musics playlist
-my strength
-squats
-episodes of a TV show i like to watch online
-entertainment
-inspiration
-shopping
-whole foods
-happiness
-how freaking excited i am for trip to my favorite place this december and the length of time it is
-having a few jobs lined up for primary career which is so nice.i really want to make a comeback.i seen an old friend of mine doing big things,and it made me a little envious.
-finishing project 2 of second career thing i do which was nice.
-getting a 4rth draft done for article i'm working on
-cravings for a night out
-almond milk
-feeling content and confident
-my heart feeling open
-hip stretches
-having a model look
-adding more money to my setaside account
-doing some reading today
-seeing the beauty of life
-how nice it is to see old desires manifesting and on the path to manifesting. so nice.
-beauty
-hot guys
-seeing old pictures of my teeth,and how cute i think they look and attractive
-getting more things organized
-fun
-laughing
-the internet
-my phone
-deep cleansing breaths
-heels
-my beauty
-becoming more and more competant

[buttercup]

-reflection
-being able to work today
-my eyeglasses
-the vegan omega supplement i take
-my venus dimples
-going for a walk today
-going to the gym today and getting a little sweat in out of it
-the stairmaster
-beauty products
-my body starting to get sculpted again
-motivation
-getting another draft done for article i'm working on that may be a final draft
-happiness
-sleep
-the mom cat of the yard cats we take care of.i so appreciate her,and the connection i feel towards her
-my bed
-blankets
-pillows
-hot tea
-lattes
-good food
-vegan neopolitan icecream i found at whole foods that reminds me of a vegan version of a childhood favorite
-excitement in the air
-feeling attractive
-hip stretches
-deep cleansing breaths
-night skies
-fresh air
-kittens
-that my mom is ready to take my brother's cat as soon as this week as long as i can bring him
-things to look forward to
-fashion

[buttercup]

-getting in a good workout and sweat
-beautiful weather
-cats and cat hugs and cuddles
-getting a follow from a contact this morning
-sweaters
-sleep
-hot tea
-bananas
-coca cola
-getting a dentist appointment at original place i had started going to
-getting phone calls done today
-that my mom will take my brother's cat
-getting closer and closer to my goal of the next thing i am saving up for
-the internet
-seeing my check cleared for the first saving up goal i made
-stretches
-how young and smooth my face looks. i am so grateful for shaving off some years of my face. i look 18 again.
-cleaning my closet today
-that i make more money doing what i do now then i would at any "normal" job that some family expect of me. they don't get my world,and that hurts. i would also never meet anyone interesting at a job like that. i literally make what i'd make at jobs like that,but much quicker.i also have more freedom,and meet cool like-minded people. i am not opposed to working more,or even getting something more "normal" but the "normal jobs" they have in mind are so down there,that it's insulting with my experience,skills,and resume. If I wanted a "normal" job,I'd get something much higher then what they suggest as it is. I'm actually meeting and exceeding my financial goals,and am happy with life work-wise. I do have a plan,and am tracking my progress and making goals.
-free episodes of TV show i've been watching
-my eyeglasses
-almond milk
-water

[buttercup]

-water
-ice cubes
-EFT tapping
-affirmations
-meditation
-my peacock print eyepillow
-deciding to stop taking zyprexa
-all the things i feel like i can do now that i held back maybe on a subconscious level because of ex best friend or just held back the last few years in general such as dating tall guys,going to nyfw again,buying another high end designer item,and so much more.
-fashion
-buying myself a chanel lipgloss that just seemed perfect
-getting a ride to work today
-hot guys
-chivalry
-my attractiveness. all the time i wonder if i'm really ugly,but all the time i am hit on so i tell myself i can't be that bad looking and i'm probably very attractive.
-my new black dress pants i wore to work today
-heels
-buying some vegan halloween chocolates i wanted the other day
-doing another anxiety challenge the other day and feeling almost ready to take the train which will be the first time in 3 years. it'll be a huge step for me.
-dental floss
-peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
-all the abundance life has been offering me lately. the money section of my life is excelling so much right now.i had been affirming heavily for money and love for the last few years so maybe now is the time for the money manifestations to be kicking in and unfolding. it feels so nice.
-how nice it feels to go and do little things by myself and how much more confident and competant i'm becoming
-buying a beautiful and inspiring artwork from france i had been eyeing for some time. it makes me think of my loved one who had passed on playing in heaven
-TV episodes of a show i've been watching online
-deep cleansing breaths
-sleep
-kittens
-pictures
-books
-getting final draft finished on article i was working on
-doing a pilates class yesterday
-fitness motivation
-how nice and helpful everyone was at my job today
-seeing G at the yoga studio the other day. it definitely boosted my mood and made my day. such a small gesture but it also showed me how i can use my thought transference with him.i slightly forced myself to think of him while there just for a few seconds thinking along the lines of "wouldn't it be nice it he showed up today." and "maybe he'll show up today." and then sure enough,that manifested. i feel like i need to not give up and use things like this to show me the world is mine,and i can have what i want and things show up because it's my desires seeking me. They wouldn't even show up if it wasn't for them seeking me. There's a quote along the lines of "Before you are called,you are answered." Our desires are not a coincidence. I get the feeling now that he may think i wasn't interested that one time he chatted with me. I don't have that ease of conversing and sunny personality like my boss.
-hot coffee

[DarkChylde]

-water
-ice cubes
-EFT tapping
-affirmations
-meditation
-my peacock print eyepillow
-deciding to stop taking zyprexa
-all the things i feel like i can do now that i held back maybe on a subconscious level because of ex best friend or just held back the last few years in general such as dating tall guys,going to nyfw again,buying another high end designer item,and so much more.
-fashion
-buying myself a chanel lipgloss that just seemed perfect
-getting a ride to work today
-hot guys
-chivalry
-...........

I took myself off of Zyprexa too , originally it's almost always given for schizophrenia , bi-polar disorder , generalized anxiety or panic , but I didn't quite fit into any of those ,( mine were spiritual symptoms) plus it made me feel "off" , it did you any good while you were on it?