GRATITUDE LIST

[buttercup]

-TV episodes online
-buying a succulent skin cream with aloe in it
-still talking to B regularly
-working today
-the internet
-music
-getting some sun
-going to new places
-seeing art
-stretches
-being around cool things
-my team lead being excited to work with me and vibing well with each other
-sunglasses
-nightskies
-cats
-naps
-lorazapam
-potatoes
-grapefruit oil
-iced hazelnut almond milk latte
-aloe juice
-cold fruity drinks
-blankets
-my new socks coming in the mail
-my bed
-my beauty
-self compassion
-glycolic eyecream
-my hydrocortisone calm clinic cream
-uber
-dimmer lights
-becoming stronger

[buttercup]

-alo juice
-finding out my appt tomorrow isnt until 6pm
-going swimming today and how nice the water felt
-B to talk to
-compliments
-rest
-blankets
-my mint green hoodie
-my silver swim bottom from tobi boutique
-TV episodes online
-M buying me a marshmallow dream bar and iced frap
-my bed
-new experiences
-abstract art
-uber
-becoming more fearless,confident,and competant
-buying the succulent skin gel the other day
-M putting more money in my account today
-my stomach feeling a little better today
-meditation and how grounded it makes me feel
-the hydrocortisone cream i've been using on my face
-sunshine
-nightskies
-naps
-deciding to go ahead and still paint the walls gray
-my dolce&gabbana sunglasses
-the glitter pool slides
-stretches
-inspiration
-staying strong and trying to be happy for the little things
-kindness in others
-that i am growing as a person
-having a young look
-friendly people
-future exciting job opportunities
-space and space inspirations
-having nice lips
-having nice teeth
-phone calls with B
-that B has said he isn't going to talk to any other girls until we meet either
-that my vibe keeps getting higher
-comedy
-beauty
-inspiration
-the industries i work in

[buttercup]

-water
-coffee
-the lemon pie slice M got me last night that i had for breakfast
-M making me a protein drink today
-gin gins
-being in a good mood today
-sleep
-M's husband and i patching things up today
-talking to B today and him asking what kind of flowers i like and saying he was thinking of getting me some flowers
-the fan in my room
-doing some more cleaning and organizing
-M's husband buying gray paint for my bed room walls
-having a great life coaching and hynotherapy session that was really inspiring. how zen the place was. him saying he thinks i have something about me to change the lives of many and complimenting my teeth and hair and saying i am beautiful and have a calming voice. offering me a discount on our next session and just leaving feeling like i have purpose and value again.
-my bed
-blankets
-catching up on some reading
-my payment for jobs worked in may being iniated into my account
-kindness
-my mint green hoodie
-my sense of style
-my nourishing skin creams and blocks i used today
-makeup
-TV episodes online
-laughing
-music
-getting an email from someone who thinks they may have seen T cat who's been missing and exchanging back and forth emails with them

[Honeybadger400]

* Having a site like this that people in need can find to help them with situations / issues that are not easy to get information about

[buttercup]

b hasn't texted me as much since tonight. it's made me a little anxious. part of what gets me is i dont even know if i likehim since i havent met him yet so all this connection could be for nothing.
-B and i making up last night and being good this morning
-going to psychiatrist and he was very happy with my progress
-naps
-lorazapam
-being offered more jobs for july
-the internet
-my body starting to look slimmer
-M making me a protein drink today
-the awesome life coaching session i had the other day which has still stayed with me
-the lifecoach texting me our hypnosis session and listening to it this afternoon
-sneaking T kitten in this morning and cuddling with him and then bringing him in again in the evening
-my style
-my glitter jelly pool slides
-doing some reading
-my bed
-my nausea seeming to decease a little bit
-chocolate mousse cake
-coffee
-uber
-the big opportunities coming for me
-letting my heart open more to the big opportunities i feel are meant to come into my life
-motivation
-my phone
-the internet
-music
-rebounding
-doing some more cleaning and organizing
-water
-moisturizers
-getting the questions done for the new group i want to feature
-sending more emails out for jobs
-TV episodes online
-opportunities
-ideas
-my creativity
-newness
-fashion
-black leggings
-my mint green hoodie
-friendly people

[buttercup]

B and I ended. I brought up an issue that i thought made us incompatible and waited to talk it out so i said things calmly and he went ballistic on me. He said F u to me,he called me disgusting,he said I was below him and that he didnt care if i jumped off a building or cut myself and that I deserved all that he was saying. He said more,too. Idk how this happened. I must've glossed over the minor red flags. I even told him he was making me nervous and he didn't care. He so far has blocked me from bumble app and unfollowed me on instagram but is still on twitter and facebook. Twitter is what caused the problem. I noticed sometime during our argument though he had cleaned up the things that bothered me and deleted them which is interesting. I deleted his number and am very sad to have seen his true colors come out. I was polite and spoke from the heart and he just lost it. We hadn't even met yet and he went this nuts.
-talking to crisis line worker after verbal abuse from B
-talking to uncle after verbal abuse from B . Both agree to cut communication.
-biotene
-my dentist appointment tomorrow
-laying down
-getting a lot done despite it being a lazy day
-TV episodes online
-finding good news out about primary career set for tommorow
-more info on another big thing coming soon for career
-being smart
-my conviction
-sweeping my floor
-the protein drink M made me
-my check being deposited today
-M buying me cookies that were very good that i ate today
-getting my appetite back a little and nausea going away
-doing some rebounding for exercise
-bringing T kitten in room this morning to sleep with me then later in the afternoon
-how social T cat has been
-buying the funky avant garde yoga pants B said was sexy and life coach said i should gt
-buying some beauty products i wanted
-buying some pet products for my outdoor cats and my mom's cats
-biotene
-lorazapam and how confident it makes me
-striking up conversations with M despite it all
-doing some reading of the charisma book i'm on and my asos magazine
-nice weather today
-music
-fashion
-feeling more inspired to go for it
-coca cola
-my phone
-the internet
-my body getting slimmer
-coffee
-blueberry waffles
-hope
-water
-doing some mirror technique affirmations
-sleep
-crisis line workers

[buttercup]

B this morning has unfollowed me from twitter and the dating app and has said more insults and has said he isnt sorry and i deserve them. very sad how all this happened. he is still in my facebook for some reason though. everyone has said i should cut ties with him.
-TV episodes online
-getting my teeth finished
-deciding to send flowers to my dentist even though everytime i do nice things others criticize it. kindness and ahimsa is important to me and she was an amazing dentist.
-uber
-M making me a protein drink
-T kitten
-rest
-lorazapam
-being assertive
-L randomly texting me and us vibing all day and planning to meet on the day i was going to meet B
-an attractive guy on the bumble app matching with me and chatting a smidge
-updating my linkedin
-M's friend D wanting to go on a bike ride tomorrow
-coca cola
-yoga
-meditation
-my phone
-feeling inspired to contact E from my past,and him responding and friendly. I'm glad i opened that door.
-the homeopathy medicine that's made H cat look and sound a lot better
-my eyeglasses
-laughing at life
-motivating myself when i felt down
-beauty
-feeling more confident in my body
-sunblock
-the dimmer lights
-nightskies
-doing some reading
-the cookies m bought for me
-buying myself some products to cheer myself up after what B did last night
-my nausea decreasing
-eye stretches
-hope
-peace
-love
-T cat

[buttercup]

-my bed
-sleep
-coca cola
-cookies
-coffee
-my publication im in coming out
-photo likes
-new fb picture
-new ig picture
-B still hasnt deleted me from fb for some reason despite having been on
-lorazapam
-deciding to start messaging about 40 people on facebook chat out of the blue just to see what happens. some were pleasantly surprised to hear from me,some assumed i wanted something,a few no responses,and RC actually conversed back and forth with me a bit. The guy i liked before I met ex best friend. He even asked if i was seeing anyone. Was a very surprising and nice little convo.
-TV episodes online
-losing weight and clothes fitting better
-yoga pants
-my new cactus flower face mist and how great it makes me skin look
-finding H cat after worrying all day where he was
-T kitten
-all my outdoor cats
-doing my jobs today
-heels
-feeling like a primary career again i do again
-kind messages
-compliments
-going to yoga class the other day
-becoming better at conversations
-doing some reading
-alcohol samples and being fine with them
-uber
-night skies
-putting money aside for my next life coaching session
-M's D friend kissing my head the other day

[buttercup]

-my beauty
-aloe vera gel
-doing well with getting over ballistic B. He still hasnt deleted me from fb despite unfollowing me everywhere else
-being in a magazine
-lots of kind messages from others
-working today and getting done early
-my custom T cat pillow
-getting my recaps done
-wearing my new party dress i bought tonight
-leg makeup
-my cactus flower face mist
-a new picture for instagram
-being cool
-having sex for the first time in 3 years.i think this is very good for me.
-L being there for me when B suddenly departed
-going out for drinks with L and having fun and that he always covers the bill,takes control and is chivalrous
-compliments
-uber
-coca cola
-trying a new bar i've been wanting to try
-being social and how good that feels just to get out there
-naps
-overcoming old blocks
-having a positive dream the other day that said i dont have to move out
-hearing today ex best friend is moving which makes even more sense to why he shouldn't care i'm here
-lorazapam and how much it's changed me for the better
-vegan pizza from whole foods
-M's husband bringing me to work today
-M's husband doing something bad ass and going to 2nd location i was supposed to work at and getting receipt i needed and pics and product so i wouldn't have to after saving me a lot of time plus he was going by there anyways to get his wife's water from the store she likes
-that i was able to have 2 cocktails today with no problems
-friendly people
-my phone
-becoming more self sufficient and also coming back to myself again
-water
-cuddle time with T kitten
-the color of the sky before it turns to morning
-my bed
-blankets
-how much better H cat looks since giving him homeopathic nose relief medicine
-TV episodes online
-having updated facebook,linkedin,and instagram now and keeping it a goal to be on top of that more
-night skies
-peace
-sunglasses
-my prada bag
-style
-motivation
-my beauty
-fun
-going with the flow
-trying to believe in "magical" things

[buttercup]

-that RC asked if i was seeing anyone the other day and we had a normal conversation. this is huge.
-finally having sex after 3 years. this is huge.
-seeing L left me a hickey. i didn't even notice it until the afternoon
-aloe vera gel
-lemon meringue pie
-another old crush responding to a fb message
-lots of people happy to hear from me and wanting to meet me for coffee
-coca cola
-shopping
-getting my christian dior package in the mail
-doing some reading
-lorazapam
-doing some more studying
-sunburn being just about gone
-compliments
-feeling beautiful
-physical exercise
-cookies
-protein shakes
-cuddle time with T kitten
-a nice session with the animal communicator today
-rest
-getting some work done on current article i'm working on and getting excited about how good its looking
-getting my cover in the mail and how good it looks. i want to frame it.
-my beauty
-my cactus flower hydrating mist
-having nice eyes
-my primary career
-my phone
-R being so helpful with wanting to help find S kitten
-ideas
-confirming another job today
-confirming a makeup artist and hairstylist for another job coming up
-water
-quiet
-desires
-excitement