About suicide

[Begeegs1]

I have been debating whether or not to reply to this, but in the end, I have decided to.

I have read your plight and have been there, but in the end, I considered that suicide would be a really negative impact on a lot of people who you may have influenced in life. Even if you feel that you haven't impacted many people, you need to have a rethink about that because I would be willing to bet that you have. It sounds like you are also a spiritual person, so you would also know that most people are not well versed in the ways of trying to obtain enlightenment, so they may not have that strength to actually try for these means to realize the self. So they may resort to things that will impact their way of viewing the world in a negative fashion because of it. This made me take a step back because I couldn't bear to do that to someone else and as a result of that, I did find the love of my life. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't straight-away, but I healed and moved beyond this and as a result, I can continue to try to conquer the negative elements of my own psyche on the way to self-realization.

But you have to be strong and realize that these lessons in life are there for a reason and they are there for us to rise above them in pursuit of the golden flower/higher self/etc.

Anyway - I wish you well and hope that you do make the decision for life.

[Liberator]

Well,

IA, you have a full pm storage so I can't write back. So to speak i lost faith in LOVE, all my work haven't been getting me anywhere, it's like stepping backwards all the time.

Thank you all , clock is set up on 4:00, train gonna roll! Wish me luck on the other side .

[IA56]

Well,

IA, you have a full pm storage so I can't write back. So to speak i lost faith in LOVE, all my work haven't been getting me anywhere, it's like stepping backwards all the time.

Thank you all , clock is set up on 4:00, train gonna roll! Wish me luck on the other side .

Hi Michal,
Sorry for that my inbox was full, I have cleared it out now, so you can PM me again.

Love
ia

[arundios]

there is always someone.

I don't know how much you have seen of the world to make such a sweeping generalization. There are also people for whom no one REALLY cares at all. The only thing I have been hearing from my mother even since I can remember is that she would be happy to get rid of me. Never for once she made me feel that I was needed, respected or appreciated. My father always remain dumb and hardly ever speaks a word against my mother because he is so afraid of her; I never saw him rise up against her even if only to defend me ONCE, just once in my life.

From teachers to friends I never got any love or appreciation from anyone. Everyone just looked down on me with disdain and contempt, bullied me whenever they could. It is not like I am a leper or anything (even lepers should not be hated, but we know how shallow the world is); back then I thought maybe I am supposed to be hated or maybe I am weak so I deserve what I get. Maybe I am the worst person on earth or born with the worst luck ever. Only one girl really loved me and cared for me. She was my ex-. Now she belongs to someone else, and I really feel everything for me is back to square one. I sure have not got magic eyes but anyways as far as I can see I don't find anyone who cares for me at all, no one else who I can call mine. My friends, well they won't give a damn if I live or die, I know that much. The most common cookie cutter answer I get from people is to visit a shrink; well I did and she told me to forget it all and start life afresh, as if it were that easy. She refused to recognize the fact that I was depressed, nor gave me any meds which might have helped.

I am just living in a big eternal void, that's all, where life does not matter to me anymore. Sometimes if you are in real great pain and there is no one to even lend you a shoulder you just want to finish the wretched life asap. I don't have any occult knowledge though, just saying that please don't paint everyone and every situation with the same brush. It is easy to philosophize and run judgments on others from the comfort of your home when you are living in great comfort and happiness yourself. You would never know how it feels like to be in the kind of mental trauma which makes a person commit suicide, unless you are face to face with such a situation yourself some day

[Frater.Akenu]

I don't know how much you have seen of the world to make such a sweeping generalization. There are also people for whom no one REALLY cares at all. The only thing I have been hearing from my mother even since I can remember is that she would be happy to get rid of me. Never for once she made me feel that I was needed, respected or appreciated. My father always remain dumb and hardly ever speaks a word against my mother because he is so afraid of her; I never saw him rise up against her even if only to defend me ONCE, just once in my life.

From teachers to friends I never got any love or appreciation from anyone. Everyone just looked down on me with disdain and contempt, bullied me whenever they could. It is not like I am a leper or anything (even lepers should not be hated, but we know how shallow the world is); back then I thought maybe I am supposed to be hated or maybe I am weak so I deserve what I get. Maybe I am the worst person on earth or born with the worst luck ever. Only one girl really loved me and cared for me. She was my ex-. Now she belongs to someone else, and I really feel everything for me is back to square one. I sure have not got magic eyes but anyways as far as I can see I don't find anyone who cares for me at all, no one else who I can call mine. My friends, well they won't give a damn if I live or die, I know that much. The most common cookie cutter answer I get from people is to visit a shrink; well I did and she told me to forget it all and start life afresh, as if it were that easy. She refused to recognize the fact that I was depressed, nor gave me any meds which might have helped.

I am just living in a big eternal void, that's all, where life does not matter to me anymore. Sometimes if you are in real great pain and there is no one to even lend you a shoulder you just want to finish the wretched life asap. I don't have any occult knowledge though, just saying that please don't paint everyone and every situation with the same brush. It is easy to philosophize and run judgments on others from the comfort of your home when you are living in great comfort and happiness yourself. You would never know how it feels like to be in the kind of mental trauma which makes a person commit suicide, unless you are face to face with such a situation yourself some day

Hi Arundios, I do understand your pain and your concerns, it really looks like you are the most hated person in the world. It seems so, that is. Trust me if anything happened to you, your parents really would be crushed, no matter how tough they are towards you. Plus after hearing your story I truly do care about you and I am pretty sure that more people will arrive here shortly that will also care about you, your life and well-being. It takes just this much to gain new friends and people who care for you.

So, my question is, do you still feel alone?

[IA56]

Hi Arundios,
I do also care about you and your well-being. I hope you can feel the LOVE I send your way.

Love
ia

[arundios]

Hi Arundios, I do understand your pain and your concerns, it really looks like you are the most hated person in the world. It seems so, that is. Trust me if anything happened to you, your parents really would be crushed, no matter how tough they are towards you. Plus after hearing your story I truly do care about you and I am pretty sure that more people will arrive here shortly that will also care about you, your life and well-being. It takes just this much to gain new friends and people who care for you.

So, my question is, do you still feel alone?

In real world, I am. In virtual life, I have plenty of friends here and there, and it is not like I consider my virtual friends some lifeless robots but in the colder real world I was and am still pretty much alone and IMO virtual buddies can never bring the warmth of real world friendships no matter what. Let us just say if my virtual friends were not there I would have really killed myself by now, yet they are not enough. I wish one could get a hug or a kiss online. Thanks though and sorry about the outburst. People called Robin Williams selfish but he alone knew what he was going through at that period of life which made him do the act; that is my whole point really. No offense, but you really don't know what say, I or another depressed person is going through which make them idealize suicide as an option (unless you have been there and done that, but even then every person has his or her own unique way of looking at and handling things; I read online that if you want to be happy after a breakup you break off all emotional ties with your ex-, but I am unable to do that), nor do I know your state of mind; it is just not possible no matter how big of an empath you are; so am not sure if it is okay to judge an entire group from your perspective alone.

[Frater.Akenu]

In real world, I am. In virtual life, I have plenty of friends here and there, and it is not like I consider my virtual friends some lifeless robots but in the colder real world I was and am still pretty much alone and IMO virtual buddies can never bring the warmth of real world friendships no matter what. Let us just say if my virtual friends were not there I would have really killed myself by now, yet they are not enough. I wish one could get a hug or a kiss online. Thanks though and sorry about the outburst. People called Robin Williams selfish but he alone knew what he was going through at that period of life which made him do the act; that is my whole point really. No offense, but you really don't know what say, I or another depressed person is going through which make them idealize suicide as an option (unless you have been there and done that, but even then every person has his or her own unique way of looking at and handling things; I read online that if you want to be happy after a breakup you break off all emotional ties with your ex-, but I am unable to do that), nor do I know your state of mind; it is just not possible no matter how big of an empath you are; so am not sure if it is okay to judge an entire group from your perspective alone.

I was pretty much alone till 18. Then I found a pretty girlfriend that cared about me, after a year she found someone else and broke up with me. I am 27 now and sometimes I still think about her, even while I am after few other relationships already and I got a wife and 2 kids. The first someone is always special.

You said it correctly that no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I know, no matter how big empath I am and no matter what I have experienced, I cannot fully understand other people. Everyone is a completely unique individual with their own individual opinions and problems, and problems is the thing I want to highlight, everyone got them. Problems choose people despite their fame, friendships, wealth or good looks. Even the biggest playboy in school got some serious issues he has to work on. Regarding our problems we can either resign and become victims or we can keep fighting, getting rid of our issues one by one and become the solution. Robin Williams resigned and caused a grief of millions of people all around the world, but I have to admit that death didn't take away his sense of humor, his post-mortem message "I am dead, you know?" became a sensation in the occult circles. What is important is that your condition isn't terminal, you can fight it and you can win, it all starts in your mind.

[arundios]

I was pretty much alone till 18. Then I found a pretty girlfriend that cared about me, after a year she found someone else and broke up with me. I am 27 now and sometimes I still think about her, even while I am after few other relationships already and I got a wife and 2 kids. The first someone is always special.

You said it correctly that no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I know, no matter how big empath I am and no matter what I have experienced, I cannot fully understand other people. Everyone is a completely unique individual with their own individual opinions and problems, and problems is the thing I want to highlight, everyone got them. Problems choose people despite their fame, friendships, wealth or good looks. Even the biggest playboy in school got some serious issues he has to work on. Regarding our problems we can either resign and become victims or we can keep fighting, getting rid of our issues one by one and become the solution. Robin Williams resigned and caused a grief of millions of people all around the world, but I have to admit that death didn't take away his sense of humor, his post-mortem message "I am dead, you know?" became a sensation in the occult circles. What is important is that your condition isn't terminal, you can fight it and you can win, it all starts in your mind.

Fighting is alright, the real question is: how long you can do it before you give up, as it can get very tiring when you think that you may have to fight all alone your entire life with no outside help. Like now I see only loneliness in my future, the way I had spent my life before her arrival; I see that I am forced to live my whole life single with no love from anyone. I was not as lucky as you to get a gf at such a young age in my life - maybe if this thing had happened then I won't have gotten as emotional as this (they say that young people are usually shallow, I don't remember if I have been shallow at 18 ), and it sucked to see my college buddies getting hitched one by one and their asking me about if I had gotten one for myself. Hell, most of the friends in my locality are married off with kids as well. Yes marriage is not rosy but at least there is someone you know who is waiting for you when you get back home, someone who does care about you even if only a little bit. I was too choosy about women at that time so I couldn't settle for just about anyone; I was also quite an introvert and got cold feet at the prospect of even talking to women. Then she came when I was about 29 or so and I thanked my luck when she reciprocated my feelings so positively as no one ever did. We made long term plans, family plans, job plans, money plans. When she ditched me I felt as if a part of my body has been lost permanently, and I am still unable to get over that feeling. I was depressed before she came in my life and I am depressed again now that she's left me

http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/showthread.php?17936-Help-me-get-the-love-of-my-life-back



Among those millions of people who claim they are grief-stricken by his death, did any one person ever bother to ask him if he is alright when he was suffering? I have my doubts. Even his wife abandoned him http://www.celebdirtylaundry.com/201...lation-photos/. What do we do? We just pick the morning newspaper, see this article about his death, and exclaim over our morning coffee that 'oh, sucks that this fella is dead! He was such a good comedian. I am so sorry. Hollywood lost such a fine actor!' blah blah, forget it all soon after and get on with our lives.

[Frater.Akenu]

Fighting is alright, the real question is: how long you can do it before you give up, as it can get very tiring when you think that you may have to fight all alone your entire life with no outside help. Like now I see only loneliness in my future, the way I had spent my life before her arrival; I see that I am forced to live my whole life single with no love from anyone. I was not as lucky as you to get a gf at such a young age in my life - maybe if this thing had happened then I won't have gotten as emotional as this (they say that young people are usually shallow, I don't remember if I have been shallow at 18 ), and it sucked to see my college buddies getting hitched one by one and their asking me about if I had gotten one for myself. Hell, most of the friends in my locality are married off with kids as well. Yes marriage is not rosy but at least there is someone you know who is waiting for you when you get back home, someone who does care about you even if only a little bit. I was too choosy about women at that time so I couldn't settle for just about anyone; I was also quite an introvert and got cold feet at the prospect of even talking to women. Then she came when I was about 29 or so and I thanked my luck when she reciprocated my feelings so positively as no one ever did. We made long term plans, family plans, job plans, money plans. When she ditched me I felt as if a part of my body has been lost permanently, and I am still unable to get over that feeling. I was depressed before she came in my life and I am depressed again now that she's left me

http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/showthread.php?17936-Help-me-get-the-love-of-my-life-back



Among those millions of people who claim they are grief-stricken by his death, did any one person ever bother to ask him if he is alright when he was suffering? I have my doubts. What do we do? We just pick the morning newspaper, see this article about his death, and exclaim over our morning coffee that 'oh, sucks that this fella is dead! He was such a good comedian. I am so sorry' blah blah, forget it all soon after and get on with our lives.

How long can we fight before we give up? The question rather is, should we give up at all? And give up what, so to speak? I myself wasn't really ever a popular kid and the only reason I got a girlfriend when I was 18 was that I stopped victimizing myself and why people don't love me, I simply chose a path and become something I wanted out of myself. I chose my path and developed a character. Originally people didn't like me because I was weak, I wanted friends and family so much that I agreed with everything everyone said. After that I made a clear stances, now people hate me because I disagree with them and I can argue about it. It is said that a person with no enemies has no personality. It is also said that the greatness of the person can be measured by the greatness of his/her enemies.

You also say you weren't shallow at 18, isn't the reason that you were not a popular kid, therefore you had a time for some philosophical thoughts regarding the society and life in general? I am asking this because I also remember many of my thoughts from the unhappy years. If I take it this way, then the past sucked, but now it is only a memory. Well, actually it's a little bit more than a memory, the past made me what I am now and if I didn't experience the hardships, I wouldn't be who I am now. The pain helps us to cherish the life, sadness helps us to enjoy the bliss, and the bliss will come, the bliss always comes, sooner or later. Yes, hardships can often be very disturbing and seemingly eternal, but remember that you are not alone in them, even while the internet doesn't allow hugs or kisses, it still helps to communicate and connect with people all around the world, and sometimes a kind word will grant you a courage needed to stand even in the wildest storm.