So, for most of my life, I have been plagued by horrible anxiety in certain situations. It seems to work against me in whatever way it can, to hold me back from following my dreams or do what I want to do. It works to isolate me. It's a negative voice in the back of my head that always seems to operate below my awareness.
In doing energy work, I have always noticed that it would "stir up dust" if you will, revealing the stuff under my carpet that I hadn't been aware of before. So, recently, I discovered that I had a powerful blockage structure encumbering my solar-plexus chakra, which I have been working on gradually eroding.
It seems that, through progressive increases in energy levels, the pressure on the "kinks in my system" hit a point which forced me to confront these issues head on. I decided to pursue therapy to better understand the dynamics of these thought patterns, and lo and behold, something revealed itself. I was besieged with negative thoughts, doubt, and strong resistance. I came under what felt like direct psychic attack (great anxiety, shortness of breath, terrible thoughts, etc). This made me realize that there is indeed something more at work here. This compelled me to follow through with my course of action.
It's crazy to me how this was always right under my nose, how I became so identified and caught up in these negative thought patterns without suspecting that there was something deeper at work. I suppose negs are rather elusive critters. Now that I know, I suppose the journey of eradicating this "thing" (thought-form, neg, or whatever) begins.
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