The Present Process

[Babylon A.D.]

Hi

I am new to the site but not new to meditation. I have been meditating for so 1.3 years and its really going well.

I have been told all my chakra's are open and have worked with the right people to get them open. I have been lucky to meet those people i call friends.

I have been advised to read the Presence Process and do those meditations that brings out emotions and stored problems from the past and that its very tough. I am a very emotional person and the past really haunts me. I am really scared of what could come out as i have allot of childhood problems which the meditation brings out.

I was wondering if anyone here have read this book: The Presence Process from Michael Brown?? Also looking for someone that wants to do this process with me that is ready to take on there past and maybe it could be easier together if someone is interested?

Thank you

[ButterflyWoman]

I have been advised to read the Presence Process and do those meditations that brings out emotions and stored problems from the past and that its very tough. I am a very emotional person and the past really haunts me. I am really scared of what could come out as i have allot of childhood problems which the meditation brings out.

It is painful. It's like having an old, deeply infected wound opened up and cleaned out. It can be extremely unpleasant, to put it mildly. BUT, until the wound is cleaned and dressed, it's never going to heal properly, and you're just poisoning yourself with the ongoing infection.

I haven't read the book, but I'm intimately familiar with what you're talking about. Believe me when I tell you that while it is a difficult process, it's worth it in too many ways to even start to list. This is the beginning of transformation, and that's not easy, but it is most definitely worth it.

Keep with it, but don't push yourself too hard. When you bring up something painful, let it flow from you, just let it be. Don't resist it or try to fight it or make exuses for it or for what you feel. If you need to feel humiliated for three days, then do that. If you need to be blisteringly angry at life, the universe, and everything, be angry. Don't judge yourself, and don't just the memories or the attached emotions. This is how you heal, this is the poison leaving you.

I can't say anything more comforting than that it will be all right, but it will be all right in amazing ways, I promise. (Oh, and all the things I wrote there are based directly on experience. I grok.)

[WhiteMonkey]

Hey there I will check out the book you mention but cant promise anything since I follow already a way which helps me a lot.

About all this bad memories you have to let them go and the way to do that is to forgive. People didnt knoe better at this time. They did what they have to do back then. They were blind and didnt know what they were doing no sens in being angry at them anymore cause ubare stronger and wiser. Just let this energie go and clean your being from it

All the best

[Babylon A.D.]

It is painful. It's like having an old, deeply infected wound opened up and cleaned out. It can be extremely unpleasant, to put it mildly. BUT, until the wound is cleaned and dressed, it's never going to heal properly, and you're just poisoning yourself with the ongoing infection.

I haven't read the book, but I'm intimately familiar with what you're talking about. Believe me when I tell you that while it is a difficult process, it's worth it in too many ways to even start to list. This is the beginning of transformation, and that's not easy, but it is most definitely worth it.

Keep with it, but don't push yourself too hard. When you bring up something painful, let it flow from you, just let it be. Don't resist it or try to fight it or make exuses for it or for what you feel. If you need to feel humiliated for three days, then do that. If you need to be blisteringly angry at life, the universe, and everything, be angry. Don't judge yourself, and don't just the memories or the attached emotions. This is how you heal, this is the poison leaving you.

I can't say anything more comforting than that it will be all right, but it will be all right in amazing ways, I promise. (Oh, and all the things I wrote there are based directly on experience. I grok.)

Hi

Thanks but i am chickening out so close to December (don't want to feel bad in the festival season) but i am going to put it on no. 1 on my new years resolution.

I know its exactly what i need so it's very important to do first thing next Year.

Thanks for your promise and i believe you.

[buzzcock]

anyone got any tips for the kind of meditation that brings up bad memories? I'm trying RB's core image stuff but I'm not sure it's right for me, I just keep imagining more and more pipes and tentacles and brick walls.

[IA56]

anyone got any tips for the kind of meditation that brings up bad memories? I'm trying RB's core image stuff but I'm not sure it's right for me, I just keep imagining more and more pipes and tentacles and brick walls.

Hi buzzcock,

What does it mean as you say..."I just keep imagining more and more pipes and tentacles and brick walls??

Is it this way you see your defences act to keep the bad memory behind the brick wall?? or how do you mean??

or does you mind not find any bad memories at all??

as the experience of mine is that it is not the bad memories you remember what is the issue, but the bad memories I have transformed to good or something positive happenings and when I start to peal the layers off I beneath this layes I find the hurt and expelled experience what did make a block in me and my energy...so if you can tell more that I can understand more how you see or try to track bad memories.

Love
ia

[buzzcock]

Well, I have had some bad times with relatives and family in the past. I often, very often replay arguments and fights in my head where I "couldn't win" because the other relative had "ran rings" around me, said things to me that would make me guilty if I said them back to them, even if the putdown applies to them as well, smirk at me when I ask them not to hurt my feelings, then have no memory of it afterwards so I feel crazy. I often obsess over ways to make them see and things I could have said to defeat them and stop them driving me crazy. I try RBs method of imagining it on a polaroid which I turn over to see my image of whatever is sticking the memory to me, then attacking the image with visualised tools, but theres so many little memories, they feel like non stop infestation of little insects in me or something sometimes.

Thing is..some of these people, I have defeated them, I've refused to see them for years until they were contrite and tearful and now they're different..but it does nothing for me. I needed to have defeated them at the time, ...the person they were then, not the weaker needier person they became who was easier to beat. I dunno, I feel nuts. I've said horrible things to some of these people, things I would never have gone out of my way to say to someone unless they were mentally wrecking me for so long first, but i feel disgusting. People dragged me down to their level, and though I fought to stay calm and keep my head they fought on and on untill I gave in. And I did and said horrible things myself.

[IA56]

Well, I have had some bad times with relatives and family in the past. I often, very often replay arguments and fights in my head where I "couldn't win" because the other relative had "ran rings" around me, said things to me that would make me guilty if I said them back to them, even if the putdown applies to them as well, smirk at me when I ask them not to hurt my feelings, then have no memory of it afterwards so I feel crazy. I often obsess over ways to make them see and things I could have said to defeat them and stop them driving me crazy. I try RBs method of imagining it on a polaroid which I turn over to see my image of whatever is sticking the memory to me, then attacking the image with visualised tools, but theres so many little memories, they feel like non stop infestation of little insects in me or something sometimes.

Thing is..some of these people, I have defeated them, I've refused to see them for years until they were contrite and tearful and now they're different..but it does nothing for me. I needed to have defeated them at the time, ...the person they were then, not the weaker needier person they became who was easier to beat. I dunno, I feel nuts. I've said horrible things to some of these people, things I would never have gone out of my way to say to someone unless they were mentally wrecking me for so long first, but i feel disgusting. People dragged me down to their level, and though I fought to stay calm and keep my head they fought on and on untill I gave in. And I did and said horrible things myself.

Dear buzzcock,

What is to win?
and
What is to accept?

There is nothing to win ever, period.

To understand this ...sit down and make lists where you write a column with adult and Child.....when you where Child how horrible this do sound you should obey your parents, even the truth is there is horrible parents who never should have had Children, because they only take their own hurt on their own Children because they was not able to speak their mind when be a Child....
Then compare to be adult and how you would have bean able to speak your mind in same situation...and if you can see from where your parants are coming and what happened to them, then you will understand why they treat you so bad or to take out their hurt on you, because they can, and this make them feel powerful, but they have forgotten the hurt child they whare from beginning, and this made them to become bad parents.

Forgive and brush it off...be a bigger person...it is not easy but there is never anything to win, and trying to do so it only feed wars.

To see the difference between being a Child and adult, has helped me to forgive people who hurt me for these reasons, they where not able to defend them as a Child and they have become horrible adult to take out all this on Children, because they can.

Forgive yourself for being carrying this hurt so long inside of you and feeling bad.

Know you are Worth all the Love and happiness there is, and there is plenty of it, it will never stop and everyone, everyone will get it if they stop purshing it away...LOVE is for EVERRYONE!!

Accept this has happened and make love grown in you.

You are perfect and Loved as you are.

Love
ia

[buzzcock]

Thanks, but a lot of this stuff is from my 20s, so I will adapt your techniques.

And, i have spoken back to them as an adult and said horrible things, things that struck their weaknesses like they did mine, and felt horrible afterwards.

[IA56]

Thanks, but a lot of this stuff is from my 20s, so I will adapt your techniques.

And, i have spoken back to them as an adult and said horrible things, things that struck their weaknesses like they did mine, and felt horrible afterwards.

Yes I understand and that experience did learn you that was not a good way to go, right??!!

I do just observe, no need to say all out loud, but the most valuable is to understand and see without saying anything back.
You know as the saying is...too talk is silver but to be silent is gold

Forgive your self for talking back and seeing the truth....you was able to get them...and that may you feel bad...and this is a good sigh
you will not let this bad go forward, you have broken the chain of hurt....good, I am so proud of you.

Love
ia