Hi, Robert. My name is MJim and I bought your course on raising kundalini a while back. I had dabbled in the occult and wanted to raise kundalini in order to have the clairvoyance to be able to communicate with spirits. I found your methods on raising energy to be effective but in a desperate attempt to raise kundalini, I invoked 3 demons gods to help me do it.
I know this was really dumb of me but I was really naive at the time and didn't have enough respect for kundalini that I do now. I've experienced burning chi in my chakras since then while under the influence of certain substances (but have since quit as I don't want to keep forcing this process). An experienced occultist told me that this is a for sure sign that my kundalini awoke. The last time I was under the influence, I was in class and felt burning pain in my crown chakra and was really sensitive to the energies in the room. I haven't experienced the main event but I experience chi being blasted up my system during sleep paralysis and can't go 2 hours without waking up at night cause of the energy. At first, I experienced horrible anxiety/despair which has since calmed down and I also experienced hot flashes. I've been gaining a greater sense of compassion and higher sense of morality and I've also had diarrhea that has not stopped for the last couple of weeks. I've also being experiencing obsessive thoughts on death and how it'll happen to me and everyone I love. I'm barely 19 and should not be worrying on such things.
I'm really afraid that these gods are prepping me for the main event and I don't know if I'm ready for this. The experienced occultist I talked about earlier was in turmoil for years after raising kundalini and had to learn to live with this horrible burning sensation. He said that enlightenment through kundalini involves terrible suffering and made this seem like a burden/curse more than a blessing. I don't know if I'm ready for these profound spiritual experiences like meeting my higher self and what not. I'm also afraid that I won't be mentally strong enough to handle the pain when the time comes. I've been thinking of asking the Christian god for help on stopping this process as I heard a person once called out to Jesus when the serpent was rising and it went back down. I just don't want to piss off these demon gods though as they are really powerful but I need to make a decision fast before this process changes me forever.
With that said, I honestly don't know what I should do next and wanted to know if you had any advice for me. You probably haven't dealt with something like this before but you probably have dealt with people who have been through premature awakenings and wanted to know if you had any advice for me.
Thanks,
MJim
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