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Thread: Kevin's MAP Journal

  1. #21
    Kevin Guest
    CFT, Thanks for the info! That's awesome.

  2. #22
    Kevin Guest
    Day 5

    I know, I know, I skipped day 4. I didn't skip the exercises though. Days 3 and 4 were very frustrating for me. I had put them off for after the weekend because the weekends in my household (currently) are a flurry of activity and so I did a sparse amount of day 3 exercises.

    That made Monday my day 4. I must have let my surroundings jarr me because I was unable to gain the required level of concentration and I went to bed that night feeling angry and frustrated. I was not happy.

    Day 5 (yesterday) made up for day 4 though and I woke up this morning going into Day 6 with renewed determination. Patience can sometimes be hard for me but I have muscled through and not allowed myself to get too frustrated. I know that in the end, all this work will pay off.

  3. #23
    nkd Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Kevin
    Day 5

    I know, I know, I skipped day 4. I didn't skip the exercises though. Days 3 and 4 were very frustrating for me. I had put them off for after the weekend because the weekends in my household (currently) are a flurry of activity and so I did a sparse amount of day 3 exercises.

    That made Monday my day 4. I must have let my surroundings jarr me because I was unable to gain the required level of concentration and I went to bed that night feeling angry and frustrated. I was not happy.

    Day 5 (yesterday) made up for day 4 though and I woke up this morning going into Day 6 with renewed determination. Patience can sometimes be hard for me but I have muscled through and not allowed myself to get too frustrated. I know that in the end, all this work will pay off.
    Kevin, I was very angry when I missed for the first time one of my training days. At the moment of writing this I have already missed two days. I have learned that it is not that bad to skip a day. It could be beneficial in some ways... just be constant and skipping one day every one and then its OK, your body refuels with energy.

  4. #24
    Kevin Guest
    @nkd - Thanks nkd, your input is always appreciated. I've come to notice today that despite those two days, I am still accomplishing goals set in the book. Even when I'm sitting down for lunch I can now notice a faint tingle in my legs and feet that gets stronger if I even think about concentrating on it, lol. It's a very cool feeling.

    Day 7 - Epiphany

    Lately my dreams have all seemed to have no logical explanation. Until I actually sat down and thought about it. This just randomly struck me today as I was sitting down and reading through today's upcoming exercises.

    Recently I have been having a lot of dreams about travel. Blimps, planes, trains, cars, all of these elements have been recurring themes over the last week, even in my keywords. I have had more than a few plane tickets, been late for one plane, and as of last night, been stuck at a train station.

    This is that dream:
    http://forums.astraldynamics.com/viewto ... 6767#56767

    In the last week I've been to Africa and Germany.

    At first I thought it was just a vague reference to my desire to actually travel, but starting today I started thinking "what if it's something more than that?" Maybe my astral mind is trying to prepare me for the travel? Maybe it's gauging my response to situations? Last night I was stranded at a train station. There wasn't a sense of fear or of panic, just a ponderance of what there was to do next. In fact, though stranded, I still managed a sense of wonder at many of the things in the dream.

    Maybe it's just a reference to my current spiritual work within myself? I have bought the ticket, so to speak, and I am actively seeking to travel outside the confines of my body. Now I'm just waiting for the flight.

    Any insight would be much appreciated!

  5. #25
    Kevin Guest
    Day 7

    I did my exercises to MAP's BWG again yesterday evening. I like it that way very much. It helps me to focus inside myself, and I think as I am doing it, I can feel a very light state of trance coming on. I always get over excited and quickly come out of it, focusing more instead of losing focus.

    The breathing exercises are coming along better now, especially with the BWG. I can keep my mind on my breathing for several long moments before having to push a quick thought away.

    This becomes even less of a problem when doing my energy work. Having something to focus on, even slightly, clears my mind. I focus on my body and on the energy work. Yesterday was the first day of my energy bounce exercises. I haven't perfected it yetm but I think it is off to a good start.

    I am now officially in week 2 of the program! I think I have come a good way from where I started even in the beginning.

  6. #26
    Kevin Guest

    Re: Kevin's MAP Journal

    I'm not always one to delve into the meanings of my dreams, typically because my dreams are very average. Usually they reflect my feelings of the day. Sometimes that is anxiety. Other times it is flights of pure fancy, like when I see a really good movie or read a very entertaining book and then dream about it later that night. Even when I become Lucid in a dream, the dream itself usually means very little. It is usually the experience of the dream that I identify with, not the symbolism. But every so often, I have a dream that I know will stick with me for the rest of my life, one that touches me in surprising ways. There are 3 dreams that I have had in 27 years of experience that fall into this category:

    I have always had an anxiety about death and beyond. Like most people, I fear the unknown. For me, Death is the epitomy of this unknown. I do consider myself a Christian, though I view my religion through a New Age type of filter. It's my belief that the bible is an intrepretation of things that are actually beyond our understanding; perhaps it was even written by early Astral Projectionists. When I was a child I had a very unique dream; I dreamed that Jesus came to me in my bedroom. I had been fervently praying that God relieve my fear of death and dying. In my dream Jesus came to me and I felt very at peace and at ease. In the dream he offered me a choice; I could choose to stay alive or I could go with him, to die but to die with him by my side. I felt as though he was offering himself as my guide. Now I've died many times in my dreams, but never before or ever again have I been given the choice. I did choose to stay but the dream did, for a time anyway, rid me of the anxiety. The dream also renewed my beliefs. Looking back I don't try to defend the validity of my dream. I don't try to argue that the dream was real, or that Jesus really appeared to me. But to me it was FELT very real and still causes me to wonder if I had made the opposite choice, would I have died that night for real? I know many people would probably argue that it was my subconcious mind trying to rid itself of my fears, but since then I have never had a dream like it even with a growing anxiety of death. Perhaps it is because my choice has been made and can't be offered to me again?

    The second dream was as an adult. Like I said, I have died multiple times in dreams. Usually it was caused by something tangible. Once it was a knife wound, another time it was falling of a cliff, ect ect. In this dream, however, it was different. I was just dieing, as if I were on a death bed waiting for it to come. I could practically feel my life seeping away as darkness closed about. I can remember praying fervently that there be something afterwards, the fear was overwhelming. Finally, as I died completely, A vortex wrenched me out of my body. Oddly enough it dragged me downwards, though in those first few instances I can remember the relief I felt at anything happening. I landed in a type of waiting room or pergatory. I was slated for Heaven, but I still wasn't ready. It wasn't a bad place and I was so relieved. From where I was though, I could hear singing and it was a glorious sound. It's come to be my belief that the vortex may have been the Astral Wind phenomenon that Robert Bruce describes in Astral Dynamics. The wind that sometimes drags everything up and into it before pushing everything back out of it. I also think that maybe the dream portion was astral symbolism for what I may have experienced while there. It was so inspiring that I actually wrote a poem about it. Though I am an aspiring writer, I make no claim at being a poet. I have only ever been moved enough to write my own poetry twice in my life, the following is one of these:

    Dead and Dreaming
    By Kevin Day.

    As my heart beats slowly faded,
    In my mind my thoughts grew jaded.
    What if only darkness awaited me,
    and after death I'd cease to be?

    Franticly I fought the fear,
    with the cold embrace of death so near.
    Helpless, I was, in holding back
    My death and the encroaching black.

    In the end I prayed with all my might,
    That God would save me from eternal night.
    That was when the vortex took me,
    almost violently it shook me.

    So glad I was at its embrace,
    when from my body my soul did race.
    This mortal's prayers had been granted,
    For it was in Heaven I had landed.

    I had come to the land on high,
    So beautiful that my soul began to cry.
    At last I'd found an end to pain
    and all my human fear had been in vain.

    Suddenly, amidst the newly dead,
    A holy voice came from up ahead.
    "Gather Children, Can you hear the ringing?
    Be not afraid. It's the sound of Angels singing."

    I woke up then, my heart was screaming,
    I had not died and was only dreaming.

    And now the last dream that I have to tell about, and the real reason for making this post, happened just last night. It started out as a typical dream about old friends and lost loves, a type of dream that I have often. But towards the end of the dream I became lucid, albeit only very precariously as I could physically feel the strain of concentration it took. Usually when I become Lucid I just meander about my dreams. Sometimes I interact with people in my dream, but only the way I normally would as if they were just mere aspects of the dream. Last night however, as I became lucid on a landscape that appeared to be the outside patio of a small cafe at night, I approached a man sitting at a table. I asked a question, one that was very important to me though it escapes me now. The man at the table responded, "You'll have to find your Spirit Guide." I remember thinking after that I should ALSO ask what happens after death, but then thought to myself "No, He will just respond the same, I need to ask my spirit guide." After that I lost lucidity and woke up. Like I said, I'm not one to read very far into my dreams, its just not my way, but this one struck a cord because I never dream about spirit guides. It seems like maybe I was speaking to an entity that was not a dream. I also find it odd that I can't remember my question, though I can remember wanting to ask about death. I remember that I had perfect clarity when forming the question I asked, and that it was just as clear in my head as my conscious thoughts are. Up to now I thought that what happened after death was the most important question I had, but apparently not. Perhaps I am just not ready to know what that question is, at least not until I find my spirit guide. The question now is, how do I find them

    Comments, observations? I welcome all.

  7. #27
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    Re: Kevin's MAP Journal

    Quote Originally Posted by Kevin
    Comments, observations? I welcome all.
    Hi Kevin. Got a couple comments-


    Looking back I don't try to defend the validity of my dream. I don't try to argue that the dream was real, or that Jesus really appeared to me. But to me it was FELT very real and still causes me to wonder if I had made the opposite choice, would I have died that night for real?
    I don't think that would have happened- I do think that you would have gone through a simulation and an experience much like your next one. In fact, I think the next one was the logical progression of your development.
    Whether it was Jesus or a guide or your subc. or HS doesn't matter- what matters is that you derived security and it led to the continuation of your spiritual pursuits, so I'd go with 'Christ Presence', if I had to describe it.

    The second dream was as an adult. ... Finally, as I died completely, A vortex wrenched me out of my body. Oddly enough it dragged me downwards, though in those first few instances I can remember the relief I felt at anything happening. I landed in a type of waiting room or pergatory. I was slated for Heaven, but I still wasn't ready. It wasn't a bad place and I was so relieved. From where I was though, I could hear singing and it was a glorious sound. It's come to be my belief that the vortex may have been the Astral Wind phenomenon that Robert Bruce describes in Astral Dynamics. The wind that sometimes drags everything up and into it before pushing everything back out of it. I also think that maybe the dream portion was astral symbolism for what I may have experienced while there.
    I tend to think it was a bit of 'memory' from a past life (death) or indeed an astral experience of death and the afterlife. Very interesting.



    And now the last dream that I have to tell about, and the real reason for making this post, happened just last night. It started out as a typical dream about old friends and lost loves, a type of dream that I have often. But towards the end of the dream I became lucid, ...Last night however, as I became lucid on a landscape that appeared to be the outside patio of a small cafe at night, I approached a man sitting at a table. I asked a question, one that was very important to me though it escapes me now. The man at the table responded, "You'll have to find your Spirit Guide." I remember thinking after that I should ALSO ask what happens after death, but then thought to myself "No, He will just respond the same, I need to ask my spirit guide." After that I lost lucidity and woke up.
    This 'dream memory' is something that happens to people who journey in dreams- perhaps you do too. I tend to think that whether this person was a self aspect or not, he is guiding you to the next thing you have to strive for- higher self reconnection. Once you start doing this guides manifest, whether they are aspects of yourself, or an independent entity.

    ...I find my spirit guide. The question now is, how do I find them
    Your spirit guide is always with you- so you don't have to 'find' it as much as be open and receptive to perceiving it. The act of wanting to connect (or rather, perceive the connection) will be enough to start the ball rolling; information will come to you as you look for ways to do this. In fact, I'm pretty sure that within the Mysticism forum & the Parallel realities forum you will find direction, and eventually you will get 'what' you need to do next.

    It's like having someone walking next to you, and you never turned your head- now that you are working on 'turning your head' (that is, expanding your awareness via meditation and projection) it will be a matter of recognizing what happens. And this can be in projection, meditative trance, or just plain synchronicities in your life.
    Just keep your eyes open for anything- don't fix your expectations on any given thing.
    https://linktr.ee/CoralieCFTraveler
    Rules:http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/faq.php
    "Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal" Dr. Wayne Dyer.

  8. #28
    Kevin Guest

    Re: Kevin's MAP Journal

    Thanks CFT. Your posts are always insightful. I have to admit, your insight is the first I seek whenever I visit the site

  9. Re: Kevin's MAP Journal

    Kevin did you ever finish the MAP course?
    Escaping Velocity. Not just infinity, but eternity.

  10. #30
    Kevin Guest

    Re: Kevin's MAP Journal

    Quote Originally Posted by outofbodydude
    Kevin did you ever finish the MAP course?
    Sorry for the long delay in a response oobd. I have not yet finished the course but with the new year I have renewed my resolve to achieve my out of body goal, as well as trying to perceive my higher self in the hopes of learning more about life and what happens after our lives end on the physical plane.

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