Why can't I love?

[aprilla]

It may sound harsh a little, but what do you expect? your dealing with selfish people who are only interested in self gain(we are not exactly living in an airy fairy heaven where everyone thinks only about other people.) It's a rare find indeed if you come across a workplace that allows for employees to benefit more than they.
Took me a while to realize through my own niave outlook, that most people are in fact motivated by their own self interest, and businesses/workplaces are typical, not just relationships.
Let this be a lesson not only about knowing more about yourself, your fears, desires etc, but about your niave outlook, learning to discern and developing intuition/gut feelings,and develop sound judgements. if you had had these very good qualities in the first place, you would have spotted the shortcomings and either left the company, or, realized the company was a lie, and wouldn't have had the positive expectations and trust in them as you did.

I have been through the same, yes I was angry and even bitter, but when I realized just how niave(and selfish) I was too,I laughed and it opened up a new way of seeing things.
Perhaps this is just what the doctor ordered for your personal development
Once bitten, twice shy eh?

[Chris_com28]

I discovered something today. It seems all my anger toward my parents was because of Asperger syndrome (AS). I think all our conflict was because of our AS (I think my father has a bit). It was two conflicting emotions that casued us to clash heads quite a bit. I also find karma quite a common theme in my life. I find that things I have trouble with now I also inflicted on others. The love testers helped me experience this to some extent. It's a sahem my heart closes so often I'm never able to make a permanent change in myself. I thought I would post this here, so I will remeber it later when I'm sober.
It seems my realy anger is against AS and how people don't really seem to understand it. I think I'll have to research it some more now. Anyway, it's not often I've have an epithany (actually I've had quite a few in my short life-time) like this so I had to post it.

Thanks

Chris

[Steph08]

Well I think your just in pain that
love betrayed you because you cant
accept it that's why you cant feel love
or you hate the word love.

--STeph

[Serpentarius]

I guess the real fear is that people will betray my love and trust and turn it into feelings of hate.

That's just simply how people are. People can be compassionate and caring, but they also can be selfish and cruel. That's simply how people are.
I think if you accept that people are like they are and not as you wish them to be (always faithful, loving, compassionate to you) you may learn to love them not demanding to be loved back.

You can only be yourself and other people can only be themselves. Being loving and caring to people doesn't mean they also have to be like that towards you, nor you can demand that.
It is just not like that.

Blessings
S.

[ButterflyWoman]

Hmm. Not sure why I didn't follow up on this when it was posted, but I'm kind of surprised to see that, even with two metaphorical examples and what I thought was a pretty clear explanation of what I was talking about, it was still unclear.

I do agree with what CFT said about the idea of forgiveness. She gets it. I'm glad she followed up, because she said pretty much what I would have.

[Timotheus]

[wstein]

Are we more potter or clay??

Hi,
Cause love's such an old fashion word, and love dares you to care for the people on the edge of the night, and loves dares you to change the way of caring about ourselves, this is our last chance, this is our last chance, this is ourselves....under pressure

[yortyort]

Hey Chris,
I just read throught his thread and was actually brought to tears by hearing the amount of pain you were in. I hope very much that you have resolved those problems with others and yourself.
In this society, Love is basically a misnomer of what it actually means. If I were to say I Love you, Chris, people would think I was gay because that's what Love means to everybody now. Love is an energy that is forgiving and caring and any positive feeling, that's to be felt toward friends.
I have realized that to be happy you have to love thy neighbor as thyself, and I have come to, but I think your problem was that you didn't have any neighbors in your life...
I Love you and all on the forum ,
Troy

[newfreedom]

remember that it takes more effort to harbor resentment towards people than to let go of it.

this is definately my experience now, but managing to release the conditioned thoughts, judgements, automated reactions/ responses and the beliefs and then the underlying emotions connected to some of these was no 'mean feat'

At least for me anyway, but it must be do-able because i have done it /am doing it daily i feel so,
(ps. i have not read all the thread, if my comment seems a 'little' weird !)

GudLuck Chris, hope you sort it