Russmi3 AP Log

[russmi3]

Date: December 4, 2005

I have been “practicing” relaxation and trying to go out of body at least once a day. I feel that I am getting to a very deep relaxation level always. Have read two books on OBE and am trying to imagine myself “floating” above my body during my practice. So far no luck.

Date: January 15, 2006 (PM)

Very strange occurrence. I was not consciously trying to project. I had done relaxation exercises before going to sleep. I am fairly sure that I went into a dream sequence / state. I do not remember the dream at all. I did not have any sensations of leaving body, vibrations, sounds. I recall standing on the end of my bed, out of body. Everything looked foggy and in gray tones. There was “something”, the shape of a dog sitting looking at me about ten feet in front of me. It was all black and growling. I kind of freaked out at this. There was another entity to my left, never saw it, but felt something there. I grabbed something in my left hand and threw it at the dog. The dog never flinched or moved, it kept growling. I then came back into my body and awoke.

Date: December 17, 2005 (PM)

I believe I was very close to an actual OBE tonight. I am so moved that I feel I must record it:

I lay down after supper approx. 8pm and was focusing on just relaxing and going deeper. I seemed to be having a very difficult time at it, my mind was wandering and thoughts kept intruding my concentration. I don’t remember falling to sleep or being awake. The next thing I remember was a very odd feeling in my left arm, like it was no longer attached or very light, and specifically felt it was resting on a pillow. I thought and felt myself moving my arm up in front of me vertically (when I lay down I was on my back). I then thought, “Bring your right arm up to touch it” which I felt happen and remember hands touching and feeling around. Both felt kind of numb / tingly. I let arms go back to rest positions and sort of came out of this phase. I remember being disappointed because arms felt real/solid, and thinking I just imagined it.

I then just kind of was drifting; I don’t remember thinking anything for a time. I distinctly remember thinking I might as well get up and play a pc game or go on line, but at same time I was very relaxed and thinking my wife would be coming to bed soon. So I just laid there. I felt very tired and was again just drifting; I then heard what I thought was our dog chewing on something (sounded like cellophane). I thought, now I better get up and see what she has.” But, again did not. I remember hearing some other odd sounds also, but cannot remember specifics. Next sensation was of our dog jumping on the bed with me. I felt her weight on the bed and movement; she lay down beside me and had head on my left shin. Next I heard my son come in the room and he asked, “Having fun Dad?” to which I responded, “Uh huh”. He then said, “Be back in a few minutes”.

The next events happened in rapid succession: I felt I was very tired again in my mind and that I was almost asleep. At this point I began to feel very, very warm all over and feeling as though I was sweating. I felt like I was breathing very, very fast and heart beat was erratic. Within seconds of this I felt my whole body buzzing/vibrating. I saw two bright blue purple headlights in front of me. Then my thoughts came back to me somewhat and I remember thinking and realizing what was going on. The headlights disappeared but I could still see flickers of colors and shapes. I started thinking,”this is it, this is it! Just go with it, nothing is wrong, go.” Then my eyes opened and I was lying in bed. It was 10:02pm

When I awoke I was ecstatic, I was still under covers (during the arm sensations there were not covers, or my arms passed through them). The door to bedroom was closed, no dog in the room or son. I got up and walked into hallway. Light was on in my sons room next to ours. My wife was on son’s bed with dog reading. I asked “Where is Brandon?” she said, “he fell asleep on the couch downstairs, I wanted to read and you were sleeping, so we came in here, I did not want to wake you up.” I said, “Huh” and came to record this.

Date: January 22, 2006 (AM)

I awoke at 8:30 am. I got up, took meds and went to bathroom. Decided to lie back down and try to project. I did relaxation techniques, and was kind of drifting. I specifically remember going into a dream (see dream log). After dreaming I sort of woke up, my body was vibrating and I felt numb / tingly all over. I specifically thought to myself, “this is how it should feel”. I lifted my left arm (ethereal) and it snapped back down hard. I thought, “That was cool”, and did it several more times. The next I remember is pulling / stretching my upper torso and head. Pulling it out of my body. The next I remember is standing next to my bed, definitely out of my body. My thoughts were rushing on what to do. I began “walking” around in bedroom (felt more like floating). My vision was somewhat blurred, but still clear enough to “see”. I recall thinking “I should get farther away”. I looked at the window and went through it and was outside. I “fell” to the ground (bedroom is on second floor). I specifically had falling sensation to the ground, but alit softly, no pain or injury. I began walking around outside but don’t remember specifics of what or where I was. (Note: vision and colors were very vivid at this point, but things looked almost cartoonish, or drawn??). I remember walking faster and faster trying to get “somewhere”. I came to a road, after walking through a wooded area (behind our house?) and was walking fast toward a town. It was taking forever so I thought “try flying”. I jumped up a couple times and floated around. I recall going higher, through electrical wires and seeing trees and buildings below. Again nothing specific. I recall trying different kinds of flying, flapping arms (seemed dumb), arms at side, arms straight ahead. Next I recall flying fast between buildings as if following streets. Also clipping buildings and just passing through them. At one point I recall thinking, “how high can I go?” I went up and up fast, when I started to “freak” I stopped and looked back down at buildings and scenery below. Saw a cloud right next to me also. I do not recall how I got there but was back at house at this point “instantly”. Was walking around outside again then began thinking I should probably get back (to body). But I did not want this to end at all, it was so cool. For some reason I was wondering how to get past people (wife) and get back to bedroom?? I decided just to walk through doors. When I attempted this however, the door was resistant and opened when I pushed into it. My wife was standing in kitchen and looked at me and said something I do not recall. I just kept walking past her and up stairs to bedroom. (Note: I know it was our house in my mind throughout this experience, but layout was messed up??). I got back to bedroom, tried just going through door again, and again it opened instead. I do not remember “seeing” myself in bed, just being back there. I kind of drifted for awhile, contemplating what had just happened and locking as much as I could in my mind. Then my wife came in bedroom (physically), and I opened eyes, awoke. I awoke completely elated and refreshed, and wanting to do “it” again soon!!

Date: January 24, 2006 (AM)

This experience occurred after waking from a dream in am. The dream was about being at Suspa and work. Trying to get home toward end, subway train. I was jumping on and off this train at different locations. I jumped off at a factory. The factory had a sexual theme (like it was where people went for fantasies). The factory is full of Asian workers. The first “line” I went to I lay down on a table and the workers were removing all of my body hair. I then jumped back on train and off again. I grabbed latex “kit” off of a rack as I was jumping off the train. I went to another line and the workers were trying to get a latex suit to fit me. It would not fit. End dream. I then was back in bed and vibrating, I moved my arms around, and sensed Jenny put her hand on my stomach. She also said to me, “What are you doing?” I was a bit shocked by this, was thinking I was really moving and Jenny was feeling it. (Jenny was already up). I kind of came out of lucidity for a moment. Recall wanting to continue, did not feel any exit sensations. I was back in factory, but it was empty. I yelled, “Hello” several times. I decided to see if I could fly. I jumped up and fell on floor once. I then floated past lines and to back of building. I saw a green XXX pattern steel door. I wanted to see if I could put my hand through this and I did. It felt very strange (warm/tingly) but my hand went through up to about mid forearm. I then pulled it back out. I then looked at both hands as I held them up in front of me. They looked normal as I recall, but kind of glowing. They began dissolving and my focus changed. (My mind was racing with ideas and things I wanted to do). I walked outside of factory and flew into air above trees. I saw a town in distance and trees below me. I either said out loud or thought, “Take me home, 807 Morgan”. I instantly was moving very fast (flying) but I did not know where. I assumed toward house. I came over a lake and my thoughts shifted again to what water would be like. I instantly was on surface of lake floating. I stuck my head under water. I kind of choked / gasped a couple times but then began breathing water. I recall the feeling of water going in and out of my mouth / lungs. It had some sand in it also. The water was shallow, maybe 4 – 5 feet deep and crystal clear. Sandy bottom. I was thinking I don’t want to be in deep water or see a drop off. (This freaks me out in real life). The water stayed at same depth. I was swimming about and just amazed. I wondered where fish were, and instantly again there were fish all around me. I then started grabbing at fish as I swam. Awoke.

Date: February 2, 2006 (AM)

This experience was definitely begun from a dream state. I know I projected twice, but the details of each one or what happened in each one specifically are a bit confused. So I will just record what I remember. I was really practicing hard last night on focusing my attention just on what I saw on my “mental screen” behind eyelids. So, when I went to sleep I was very relaxed and calm. I awoke at 6:30am and went to bathroom, got drink and lay back down. I went right back to focusing on my vision images. The next thing I recall is feeling very warm and tingly all over and beginning to buzz. I just let myself go, I recall feeling my legs pulling up at the knees toward my stomach and I consciously began trying to get myself out of my body. I was next floating near the ceiling in the SE corner of our bedroom. I was very excited and began thinking what to do now. (Now things are kind of mixed up) I went through the window and recall a scraping sound as I did (like nails on chalkboard). Next I was outside and recall only having underwear on, which made me nervous. I flew also, but to no specific location. I do recall trying the first time and landing face first on ground. Went through different techniques also, flapping, jumping, superman. I basically was just enjoying being out and doing anything. I met a lady and she seemed deformed, ill, and sad. I recall her face being scarred on the left side as she faced me. Not like a burn scar, just lumpy, crevassed. I went to her and hugged her. I said, “It hurts doesn’t it?” She said, “Yes, very much”. She may have been crying, I felt extreme sadness for her. Wanted to help. We just hugged a long time. This is very vivid. I believe I began wondering how long I had been out. I recall coming back to the house and seeing my wife in the kitchen. I recall getting the sense that she could see me or sense me in the room. But also kind of playing with the idea by walking close and seeing what her reaction would be. I said something to her also. She then said, “Aren’t you the attractive one?” this freaked me out. I was then back in bedroom and recall trying to “align” myself with body (did not see body, just sensed it). After a couple seconds I just was back in body and awoke. I was elated by the success and wanted to do it again. I went right back into focusing on objects, and started buzzing again! My legs again pulled up, bending at knees. This time I recall swinging myself side to side. Feeling myself swing out of body farther and farther. I recall bumping my head on the night table on one rightward swing, and was then out of body on the leftward swing, standing between two beds (we only have one??). I looked around the room; my vision was very blurry and shaky. I walked toward the door and looked directly at the right bed and saw a body in it but could not be sure it was me. I was not freaked by this. My attention went back to vision, I walked out onto landing and stairs were all twisted and wobbly. I told myself it would clear up as I moved away. I felt my way down stairs and opened and went out front door. It was snowing and windy. (We have no snow at the moment and it is calm today). I recall thinking I did not feel cold, but could feel the wind and snow hitting me. I began walking the snow was crunchy like rice krispies. I walked down the street again not going anywhere. I decided to see how fast I could run. I was going so fast that things were blurry. I wanted to fly again and again face planted several times before I was successful. I recall doing a backstroke in the air this time for several seconds before I flipped and saw I was above tree line. I flew about, and thought of going to the moon. I went higher and recall clouds and going through some of them. I saw the light of the moon above more clouds. I aborted this. I flew back to ground and came upon a lake or pond. The water was gray and gloomy looking. A man passed by me on snow skis, right onto the water. As he past he said, “Look the water is perfect, I don’t even have to jump”. I waded into the water up to about neck level and kind of followed this man. I had the worry again about the water getting too deep, but I just kept wading. The man kind of faded and my thoughts went back again to how long I had been out. I walked in no particular direction, but knew were I was going. I next was in a house, but could not tell if it was mine or not. As I stood in the hallway I held my hands up and looked, they were very odd looking and blue. The fingers slowly melted like wax and I watched until they were all gone down to forearms. I then focused on the wall and raised hand again (it was back) I shoved hand into wall, felt resistance, but kept pushing. I brought other hand up and was spreading the wall open like a curtain. I do not recall going through. I saw a mirror on the wall, and looked at it seeing myself. I smiled. Walked about some more saw a shelf with a small village scene on it. I shrank myself down and was on the shelf in the scene (plastic trees, houses, etc). Awoke in bed. Amazed!

Date: July 24, 2006

Haven't posted any new experiences since February. Basically I have been busy in daily life and had very little time to practice or attempt any OBE. I have had 2-3 very short experiences where I know I have left my body from a dream state. (Actually aware of seperating from body and usually exploring house/nearby outside and flying) All attempts I have made at spontaneous projecting have gone nowhere in this time period. Again these have been few. I will keep posting and updating this log as things happen.

[alibaba]

Great, Insha Allah something will happen with me soon, im trying

[CFTraveler]

Wonderful russmi! I knew you could do it!

[russmi3]

August 08, 2006 (AM)

I woke up and went to bathroom, layed back down doing relaxation. I do not recall any exit sensations or anything. Just began feeling my legs lift and arms. I looked at my hands (astrally) and they were fuzzy and blue/green. Was having hard time getting body up, floating. Then I turned 90 degrees in bed, feet to the east. Next I was just standing in corner of bedroom. I looked at bed and saw it, but nobody in it. Touched the wall a few times with hand, it was solid. Started walking toward bed and hit shins on it. Instantly fell backwards, not like normal, but stiff as a board??? When I got horizontal I was back in body.

[russmi3]

August 10, 2006

just dawned on me that i did not go into the above experience from a dream state.......first concious obe?????

[russmi3]

August 25, 2006 (AM)

Awoke earlier than normal, about 7:30 am. Went to bathroom, took meds, talked to wife a few mihutes then lay back down. Wife and kids were going shopping, so was alone. I did relaxation work including focusing on sound (tinnitis) in ears. Was very relaxed but getting no further (has been recurring theme lately, trying hard but either falling to sleep or giving up frustrated). I gave up again and went to sleep, dreaming briefly. I awoke suddenly in about 30 minutes (do not know why). Closed eyes and noticed pulsing/strobing effect in patterns of light I was seeing (these are typically triangular colored shapes). Note: I have only had a few brief flashes of actual scenes in this state, my imagery is rotten . I kind of just focused on the shapes and pulsing, and almost immediately felt legs rising up. There were no other exit sensations at all. I began willing myself up, getting half mad that my body would not lift. I pushed my legs down hard and sat up at same time, this worked and I was sitting on edge of bed. The sheets of the bed were wrapped around my feet/lower legs. It took several seconds to get this solved . I then stood and walked to a wall across bedroom, it was like a wall sticking out from a closet. I pushed my right hand into the wall and a chunk of plaster broke into the wall and I heard it fall into and down inside. At this point I was like, "Oh crap, I am not OOB and I just punched a hole in a wall!! (I remember now that the wall was blue, and our bedroom is white walls). My next thought was, "OK if I am OOB then I should be able to see myself in bed". So I turned and walked back toward bed, first looking out of bedroom doors down to kitchen. I saw my wife sitting at counter doing something. I got to bed (we have a king size, this was a single??), it was empty with bedding on floor. For some reason I stood at end of bed and began pulling covers up, like making bed. I got them up to pillows and was smoothing them and a lump (body sized) began forming! I pulled the covers back down and there I was!! Sleeping peacefully on my back, just as I always do, minus my cpap mask. Instead of being freaked out or pulled back, I was elated! It was proof I was OOB! I turned from the bed and the first thing I saw was the air register on the floor. I thought, "That would be neat to go down the pipes to the basement". So I tried, I got a hand and part of an arm into the register, but could go no further. I then walked back to the original wall and put my hand all the way through this time, there was resistance and a crackling sound but no broken plaster. I played with arm through wall for a time, moving it in/out/around. I then thought to go out and explore. I was still thinking of things to look for to varify I was out and in a "real" place. I walked to the south wall and pushed completely through it hands first, pulling body through and was floating outside above our patio (bedroom is second floor). I eased down to the patio and began walking to the west. I saw my fish pond near deck fish and fountain, but it had ice on it. (It is still fall here?). I reached in and it was cold, I even picked up a chunk of ice. I proceeded west, past deck (Now things become changed to where I grew up in another town. Our existing house is in a sub-division with houses to the west. I was walking through a large yard, no houses with a field and trees to the west, exactly as where I grew up). I walked to the tree line and looked down into the gully where a creek runs. I then wanted to fly over it. I rose up, passing through a few tree limbs on the way up. I hovered at about tree top level a minute, then tried going higher. Was having a hard time so I began doing like a swimming stroke, I went higher up. The view was awesome. I was amazed at the path the creek took through the woods to the river in the south. I flew around the general area a few minutes. Wanted to do an inverted loop. I whooshed toward the ground, arched backward and made it about half way around and kind of lost control. I began spiraling toward ground, freaked out and awoke in body.

[russmi3]

November 24, 2006

OK, it is 11:45 pm Friday 11/24/06. I don't know what to classify this experience as, but I will post it. I have had a loooong dry spell for any OBE at all. I have been working hard on NEW, and relaxation but since last posted event, nothing even close to any OBE or even trance. I had reached a point again of giving up, and now I have this??

Anyway, I worked from noon until 8:00pm (retail sales). At about 4:00pm I got a terrible headache. Have not felt good for several days either, but just figured it was a bug or sinus'. So I went on my supper hour, ate a quick burger and fries, then went back to store took tylenol and just sat in office chair until 5:00. Still had headache but it had lessoned. Finished work and came home.

I lay down as soon as I got home, put on cpap and earplugs (I do this everynight). Tonight I wanted to get rid of headache and just sleep. I was having no thoughts of OBE or anything. I drifted off finally having a weird dream I cannot even remember. I remember my wife coming to bed and yawning several times. I assume this was around 10:00 when she usually crashes. I just kind of layed there and was just drifting. One of our cats decided right between my legs was a good spot to lay down, so he did.

I do not recall all that happened or in what order, I am just going to put down what happened in general. I felt several times a whooshing sensation, lick being sucked into a vortex? I had exit sensations several times, voices, noises, pans crashing?, and each one would make me startled. I remember at one point my legs were floating up, even as far as straight up to the ceiling, but the rest of me was locked on bed. This was weird because the cat was still there and going up and down with my legs! I was lifting my arms at another point and letting the left one flop back down to the bed (kind of just playing). My right arm was above my head bent at the elbow and was stuck there. Went through a period of awesome hynocognic visions too, patterns, shapes, vibrant colors all swirling and swishing in my eyes.

I distinctly remember not being able to see hardly anything at all during all of these. I even had the sensation I had on my sleep blindfold, but I did not really have it on. 2-3 times I went completely out of body and then back in. Each of these were very short and mainly uneventful. I do remember a sense of "something " being near me at these times. And I did not want it there. Once it was like a car following me, could hear the engine and got an impression of a vehicle. Another time it was like an animal or being of some sort. I actually growled at it, and hit it a few times. Never saw what "it" was. Was in a room however and protecting I believe my wife from it.

The last thing I remember was a thunderstorm going on. My wife was awake in this one. Still sensed a blindfold on, but could also "see" lightening. The power went off in this one once, and then it was pitch dark for several seconds, then it came back. So I did have some sight. I then was coming out of it, returning to conciousness, but struggling. I wanted to wake up and had to go to the bathroom, but my body felt heavy and I kept slipping in and out of exit sensations, etc. I actually had to concentrate hard on getting up. Forced my arms to actually move and get the cpap off. Finally I tossed the covers off (ticked off the cat) and got up shakely. Almost in a dazed state for a few minutes.

I relieved myself, and logged in here to record this. Appologies if it is twisted and unorganized, but that is how the experience was! I think I got most of it down.

Take care all! I guess I am still OBE'ing......lol

P.S. my headache is completely gone!!

[russmi3]

January 23, 2007 (AM)

Had a brief OBE this morning. I was not trying at all to have one, I actually had a sleepless night (I have them occasionally). I went back to bed at 6:15 am and went to sleep immediately. I awoke about 10:00 am, I have to be at work at 12:00 so I had the alarm set already for 11:00 am. I just was laying there in bed kind of floating and the next thing I knew I was feeling my legs lifting up. I was in a bunk bed shaped like an "L", I was on the bottom bed facing the upper bed which was 90 degrees to my body. (This bed does not exist in our house). This was all very clear and bright looking. As my feet were lifting I was trying to get my upper body and arms loose. I suddenly grabbed the blankets from the top bed with my hands and pulled myself up to a standing position. I was kind of amazed this worked. I just stood there, floating and looking around. The room was totally foreign. Then it popped in my head how I have been trying to go OBE for so long, I wanted to try it again to see if I could. I was immediately back in the bottom bed in my body. I remember just laying there, thinking I wanted to exit again. Again my legs became light and floating. This time I must have been focused on the rope technique because I saw a rope clear as day hanging from somewhere above (did not really notice a ceiling). I grabbed the rope and could see my hands going one over the other climbing up. In just a second I was standing / hovering again above the bed. The room and bed was the same as before. I briefly floated around the room (I had no agenda or plans....lol). I thought about going through the wall and I think I was trying to do so when I awoke in my real bed / bedroom. Not very exciting or anything amazing, but it was an experience. It was 10:32 am when I awoke.

[russmi3]

April 07, 2007

......I think this was an OBE, but not really sure. Here it is anyway (some of this is commical in a way, unexplainable). Went to bed around 2:00am. Was doing countdown relaxation and just focusing on nothingness. Started feeling very odd in my head like expanding vision (although it was blackness) just a feeling of getting bigger or expanding (never had this exact feeling before). Then started seeing the most amazing colors and vivid colors I have ever seen! The patterns were very intricate and bright. After a few minutes of this I began feeling buzzy all over and realized I was exiting or close to it. I proceeded to do the rope technique. Ended up having a fight with "myself" as I usually do trying to get myself out of my body. I recall parts breaking free and coming back to body. Finally, I recall grabbing the head board of the bed with my right hand and pulling hard. I guess it worked because I was then floating near the left side of the bed in our bedroom. My sight was really good, and I looked back at bed and saw "myself" sleeping there. Now knowing that I was projecting I proceeded to move toward the bedroom door. Before I got there I noticed a clock on the wall (there is not a clock on the wall in our room??) I looked at the clock and remembered reading that a clock or writing will change. It was a regular round clock, white face with black numbers, when I first looked it said 2:17. I looked away and back and the face was all jumbled, and it read what would be 4:30. I did this several times getting weirder reading every time. I even recall looking once and where 1 should be it had 1E like 13 with the 3 reversed. I eventually moved out the door into the hallway (we have a tri-level home but this hallway was like a single level). I met my wife in the hall (she was asleep in bed). I got the feeling like I have had before like I had to hide from her, or she could see me. I kind of crouched down near a wall. As she passed by she said something I did not understand. For some reason I thought it would be fun to grab her ankles, so I did. She did not respond or trip, but dragged me down the hall. I let go and kind of wandered about the house. Eventually came back into bedroom and then thought of trying to go through the wall and outside (just because it is fun). I went to a wall and pulled it open (like opening a curtain). I floated through with no resistance (there was resistance opening it). Once through, I found myself outside our house, and one story up in the air! I floated/fell toward the ground and landed rather roughly. I was kind of shocked and looked around a bit, everything looked real and accurate for our back yard. Then I noticed the moon. I have read of many doing space travel so I thought "go there!" in my mind. I shot into the air at warp speed!!! Never went this fast before, the wind I felt was enormous and everything was blurred. I looked "down" and saw the earth getting smaller and smaller behind me. I looked back forward and the moon went "zippp!!" past me.....lol. I remember thinking "oh crap" and mentally put the brakes on. I slowed down and stopped somewhere past the moon. I turned around and looked back at the moon and focused on landing on it. I went slower back torward it and landed with a bounce. So I stand there wondering what to do now, the moon looked bright gray/tan, and I remember craters around. It felt spongy under me so I bent down to touch the surface and it appeared to be like foam rubber??? No dust or dirt just squishy.....lol. (This entire time I had no fear of being in space or getting back). After a few minutes the thought entered my mind of "how am I breathing?" and then "I should get back". As sson as that thought hit me I was awake in my body. It was one of those falling into body with a thud and the bed bouncing sensations. I was wide awake and rolled over thinking about all of this and drifted off to sleep. Forgot to look at clock on stand even to see the time..............

[CFTraveler]

Welcome back, Russ. It's been a while.