I felt this way for a long time...and I really thought that ..hey this is me...a pesimist whit no energy whatsoever who like to sleep all day and who really gets iritated about ppl when they open theyre mouth or suggest me to do this or that.
But today got the word depresion in my mind...just wondered if saddnes and worthlessness may be the cause of depression and looked on the internet about it

This bazzled me....I found all the symptoms to match exactly my character and the most disturbing, the suicide thoughts which I have for a while ( thinking about it..watching on the window and imaging how would be if I would jump or in the car how would be to veer left and fall 100 m on my road to the country side..do not get to impacientated..i didnt made any plans..not there yet..) are listed as a symptom for depresion


I don;t know..the thought of knowing that I might have depresion leaves me whit no emotions whatsoever..guess I m not surprised
But I wonder if I have depresion and my personality right now are symptoms...then How I am whit no depresion?

Anyway..I just wanted to ask if theres some techniques in curing depresion..meditation I guess....smth..
Is hard to go to my family ant tell them that I might have depression...and if I tell my mom about suicide thoughts she;ll just freak out...don;t want that,it will get me cranky

Maybe some pills