So I've recently become spiritual and have been meditating regularly and experimenting with binaural audio. I found im learning alot of things about myself, but this bothers me. I've tried mediating into a trance and it barely works no matter what methods I try. I've tried binaural audio to induce pleasure and euphoria and while other effects work great on me, I cant induce those feelings.

Since discovering this I've been mediating on my life and Im forced to question if I can feel love and joy to begin with. Through meditation I've recalled the happiness I believe I've felt in my life were leached or shared with another so Im unsure it was actually my own feelings or not. I've also been able to recall in relationships I've had alot of difficulty feeling my partner loves me even though my logical mind tells me they act like they do and that it seems geinue, but most glaring is I dont know if I've ever loved anyone or anything.

Im really worried here, from what I understand meditation is never wrong, if I've discovered these things during meditation and binaural meditation, I might have a real problem.