Currently I am in the process of clearing out a lot of self hatred that I have been storing up throughout the years. It was only recently that I became aware that what I had been feeling all these years was even self hatred. (I was previously under the illusion that it was merely me "being hard/critical on myself", however I took it too far and it was more like I was emotionally beating myself up over things I had done in the past.) Anyways, I have been using a lot of powerful visualizations of me destroying the built up negative energy with various astral tools. (astral swords, torches, etc) And to my surprise I actually feel MORE depressed when I destroy my built up self hatred. I don't know exactly why this is, but I think its mostly because throughout the years my accumulation of self hatred has always been a familiar presence. (an old "friend" if you will) So naturally I guess I feel empty and sort of depressed/lonely because I am finally destroying my old "friend" and trying something new with my life. Its really crazy though, I have never felt this deep of depression/loneliness before, its quite substantial... Anyways, I think things should eventually get better, but I am just curious if anybody has dealt with a similar situation before? If so, can you tell me a little bit about your experience and how long the feeling lasted, what you did, etc etc.