-finding a free copy of forks over knives to watch. i appreciate some intellectual stimulation
-D texting me today.i had a feeling he would. it bothers me in that in some moments i feel warmth towards him and even find myself still considering him despite how fake he's been to me and what he's revealed.i think part of me just likes that after all the drama he's been given by me to still stick around and the fact that he is someone who for the first time in a long time could actually be someone who would actually get in a real official relationship with me just kind of makes me wonder. but,for all i know maybe he just wants sex from me.i really cannot know anymore after how much he's fooled me and all his lies. he posted a pic tonight on his facebook and looked attractive in it and i seen a girl i know comment on one his posts and it just reminded me again of how nice it would be to have a facebook official relationship with someone and for all our mutual facebook friends to see which is stupid,but would be something that would make me happy. if i were to let him date others,while i don't because i have no interest in anyone,i'd end up resenting him later and feeling like he has all the power. it's insulting that after meeting me,he would still want to date others. and it's insulting that while on a date,he was sending me all those texts the other week.i am attracted to him but he creeps me out and we are such opposites in every way. the only thing for me to do right now is not focus on him and focus on me and my happiness and stay detached.i still haven't told him were incompatible because it hasn't come up and it's his birthday weekend. part of me would just love for him to send me a message that would make it all better,and make it all ok somehow for me to consider seeing him again but what could he possibly say. all this time it seemed like we acted like a couple with how he talked to me and how we were and now we both seem happy and detached from the other as if were just friends. life is so weird.it just feels like he has all the power now and it's so weird. he just seems so detached.
-almond milk
-plant based diet
-focusing on becoming better and better in every way
-water
-physical exercise and the pounds i am dropping
-the definition my abs is getting
-toning work and how quick it makes me lose weight
-beautiful purple roses
-new hair color for my hair to make me look younger and more attractive
-sweet,thoughtful comments from best friend that show how pure his soul is
-getting all that work done last night and how inspired and into the research i was
-healing sleep
-getting groceries for the week today
-new things to try
-being smart
-how much fitter and sexier my body is getting
-how determined i am
-mobile photo editing apps
-protein water
-my ideas
-my interests
-my desires
-getting what i want
-my accomplishments
-my ambition
-working on myself and improving myself
-positive intentions
-how amazing i am
-that when i fall or don't do as well i always rise back up better and others looking at me in amazement and how much i've improved
-hope
-big things that are coming
-souls that really resonate with me
-that i'm a winner
-my motivation and pep.i should seriously be a cheerleader and lifecoach
-my beauty
-how long my hair is
-feeling smug about something at the grocery store that happened that made me feel really really good about myself in every way
-the people i know
-dim lighting
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