GRATITUDE LIST

[buttercup]

-the strong burst of positive energy i just felt
-cupcakes
-mountain dew
-sleep
-getting the cat here
-laughing at how easy and random that once i released resistance i get two random texts two days in a row saying cat needs a vacation if i want to take him for awhile and saying i can take cat if i want
-that at least by seeing my brother while getting the cat,i broke the tension,though later i got drama texts from him and my mom but have been able to detach fairly well
-great ideas for saving money
-giving spare vitamins i had extra of to house when i went to take cat
-my confidence building subliminal i've been doing and being on the last day of it
-finding old messages from when l very first contacted me for work way back in 2013 and seeing he seemed nervous back then and like he thought i'd say no to working with him and seeing my pic is still on the online page with his other pics after all this time which made me feel good.i even took a pic of the screen.
-that best friend didnt rush as much when going to get cat i dont think
-that best friend said R buys him pants and bought him vegan protein powder
-getting reassurances about car when i got mad saying the car looks like she took over and him saying it's his stuff
-seeing signs that best friend is not over me.i used to say certain things but didn't think much of it for years now and it'd make best friend mad. today,though I asked out of genuine curiosity saying i think it's weird how everytime we are around each for more then 5 minutes it seems like he needs to have a new pic of her on his phone,or she texts him,that kind of thing. And,he told me it's him that does that. As soon as I said that,I said thank you. That just proved a lot to me. They may be subtle psychology things,but I find it weird he needs to force himself to see pics of her or have her more in his mind when i'm around. Add that to the constant ring fidgeting. There is just something extremely bizarre about the fact that as much time as he is with her,he is getting i love you pics from her right when he is with me. Somebody is very insecure.
-seeing more that all this is issues between me and best friend. it's almost like he is creating that i am something for him and R to get through,thus increasing the drama and connection for them.
-water
-deciding now to start focusing back on my driving lessons starting this next week.i felt i needed a mini break from that to process life and now am ready to finish my next goal with that
-vitamins
-essential oils
-things coming to the surface of how i'm misconnecting things and that's why i'm making myself miserable
-how beautiful my hair is
-my goals
-getting offered an internship today
-feeling less anger towards others ever since doing clearing work and how it makes me feel more likable too
-being a different person now and how good that feels. so many things i was interested in before,i am now interested in new things and have changed. forward movement feels great.
-getting kitchen mostly cleaned last night
-having the brilliant idea to get rid of some dishes,since i want to be more minimal and that'd probably be very freeing since i dread doing dishes with how time consuming it is