GRATITUDE LIST

[buttercup]

-meditation
-mango fruit spread
-sunshine
-aloe juice
-citolopram
-lorazapam
-going to sleep early last night
-working today
-confirming 2 jobs today
-feeling calmer and more grounded again
-my adidas hoodie
-entertainment
-my style
-my dolce&gabbana sunglasses
-my rag&bone t-shirt
-iced almond milk lattes
-my miu miu clutch
-finding my lip balm
-beauty
-my prada bag
-my beauty
-makeup
-unconventional great ideas
-walking
-yoga stretches
-growing as a person
-getting a ride to and from work today
-ashwagandha
-my buddha rose quartz and maroon bracelet
-doing some more reading of my new book and elle magazine
-doing some more organizing and cleaning
-spending time with T cat
-cuddling with L kitten
-all the cute things my outdoor cats do
-nightskies
-M putting money in my account for starbucks
-M's husbands reassurances
-M's husband saying he talked to a friend about a possible free condo i may be able to stay in when i move in
-blankets
-showers
-forgiveness
-healing
-reflection
-listening to some of my hypnosis audios today
-relaxation
-doing some coloring today
-prayer
-laughing
-face massage
-motivation
-cleaning

[buttercup]

-feeling better
-confirming a lot of jobs
-going to a "real job" interview today to boost my self esteem
-seeing someone i know that i worked with years ago and mentioning it,and he was nice and said hi and kissed the side of my head.was very cute.
-water
-seeing people i know from work while working today and one stopping and chatting with me for a bit
-manifesting working with the one guy i have sexual tension with who is the boss's bf who i worked with years ago.i worked with him for the first time in years in august and the other day visualized us working together again and sure enough,it manifested like the next morning! his gf came to where we met and brought her dog and we talked about animals and he showed me his cat. they seemed frustrated by each other,which was interesting,moreso him by her. he offered to buy me something from there like a cookie or something which i declined and made a big deal of asking where have i been all these years saying i just disappeared. then,brought up my first career kinda gushing about it saying well,i seem like a model. he was teasing me on and off sometimes too and somethings he said made no sense that i never said so he had to have been playing games and gotten it from facebook. he seemed very excited to see me. it was nice working with him.i'm less shy now(thanks lorazapam) and he's a little more mature. He pointed to a sign that said mnml and i said minimal and he said it is about minimalism hence the short letters. He seemed a bit erratic(what's with guys being erratic when talking to me lately?) and got mad out loud when his gf texted him telling him to meet her at target at so and so time because he didnt want to and had plans with friends. He seemed kind of off his game with work,i was doing most of it,which is surprising since he gets the best jobs(well because of his gf). We had some nice chatting,though he seemed distracted too. At the end,we hugged. And,in hindsight,that hug almost felt like sex.My body and legs were in between his pelvic area and the pose itself seemed romantic. It was a quick hug and im sure he probably hugs all the females he works with. He then said he'd recommend me for being team lead roles in the recap forms. Everytime i see him,i cant stop thinking about him. I'm learning/relearning that sometimes you just get a vibe someone likes you. It's an energy,and he always vibes with me ever since the last two times i seen him. I did feel something years ago toward him but thought he was too weird and narcissistic so let it go despite how in sync we seemed to be. This hug was way more sex then the hug with S in July. Both were quick but with S our bodies were more separated and from afar it probably looked like an awkward hug whereas with D,our bodies were close,and from afar i feel like it would've looked like we were a couple. It's like my arms were just more comfortable being around him. It's weird.
-the book i've been reading
-confirming a lot of jobs
-doing a lot of bike rides
-sleep
-cuddles with T cat
-cuddles with L kitten
-meeting my financial goals
-buying my favorite candy
-buying a new pair of yoga pants
-benzos
-iced lattes
-massage
-my outdoor cats
-reading some elle magazine
-becoming more competant and growing as a person
-my hypnosis audios
-getting a ride to work and to my interview today
-nourishment
-calmness
-sunshine
-my laptop
-makeup
-my adidas hoodie
-nightskies
-meditation

[buttercup]

-candy
-coffee
-finding my xanax today
-benzos
-being social today
-meditation
-water
-getting invited to a party by an old friend E which first sent me into a tailspin but then i decided i will go,i am ready,this is a good thing
-my adidas hoodie
-being social today
-coming across a store opening giving away free wine and cupcakes
-friend insisting i take train home instead of uber saying she will walk me to the train and tell me how to do it,and so i did i took two different trains,it was easy,and i got home for $2.25 which was amazing. A big goal for me and accomplishment.
-finding out my boss who is the gf of the guy i like is actually much older then i thought. i thought she was about my age or younger,but she is actually almost 50 and as it sounds she practically is a sugar mama to him and they fight a lot. she even gave a job of his to my friend once during a fight.
-growing as a person
-cats
-hot guys
-hot guys who are chivalrous and protective. some hot young guy collecting politcal signatures gently pulled me to the side in a protective way when someone walked by. was so cute.
-my dolce&gabbana sunglasses
-my phone
-technology
-my body being nice and sore from all the yoga yesterday and feeling stronger
-kindness
-serendipity
-shopping
-colors
-stretches
-entertainment
-sleep
-appreciation
-learning
-style
-positive vibes
-the internet

[buttercup]

-entertainment
-vegan cheese
-not going to work today and not caring
-working out today on stairmaster,elliptical and kundalini yoga
-starting to feel a connection with R
-having fun and kisses with R after finally meeting up after all these years. we are both different now.
-R offering to buy me a handbag after me joking about him buying me a louis ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bag. He's brought it up several times now i think joking
-R saying sweet things and seeming to really care for me and how i'm doing
-my sense of style
-spending an hour looking for P cat. havent seen her in about 2 days now. very stressful.
-meditation
-nice skies
-getting flirted with a lot and complimented a lot
-aloe vera water
-being told by M i look like im losing weight
-M's husband buying me munchkins donuts
-inspiration
-sending out a ton of emails for jobs
-my hair
-my beauty
-feeling in the halloween spirit
-fashion
-makeup
-my T cat. he is so cute.
-cuddling with L kitten
-meeting animal friendly people
-my phone
-uber
-growing as a person
-practicing written driving test stuff again
-getting savings to $300
-my job tomorrow
-driving with M's husband to and from pharmacy to pick up my meds
-motivation
-the book i've been currently reading
-getting approved for care credit
-my credit score improving
-cats
-nourishment
-letting go
-faith
-warm showers
-bike rides
-laying out in the sun the other day and doing outdoor yoga
-having nice curves
-lorazapam

[buttercup]

-calming and grounding
-caring people
-meditation
-naps
-self compassion
-my cats
-my job yesterday going really well
-caring people
-uber
-finishing up my book and elle magazine issue
-my style
-remembering my power
-cuddling with cats
-ghee butter
-bread
-vegan burritos
-spices
-soda pop
-water
-ideas
-talent
-being smart
-touch
-hope
-detachment
-the internet

[buttercup]

-doing 35 minutes of rebounding today
-feeling calmer and more grounded
-the weather being beautiful out today
-all going well with my doctor appt today
-attempting to pick up records at hospital today
-getting more money added to my account today
-confirming another job which makes up for more of the money i lost so far in earnings
-aloe water
-vegan burritos
-spices
-feeling empowerment
-my maturity
-having carecredit now and a good credit line with it
-my credit improving
-iced almond milk lattes
-ghee butter
-cuddling with cats
-great affirmations
-my life coach
-stretches
-my adidas hoodie
-my beauty
-lorazapam
-sending out a bunch of emails for jobs today
-great skincare products
-feeling like in some ways i am becoming more attractive
-beauty
-buying myself a face mask today
-blankets
-sleep
-listening to my hypnosis audios outside in the sun today
-my dolce&gabbana sunglasses
-music
-my taste in things
-smiling
-writing out affirmations for 3 pages
-my phone
-the internet
-entertainment
-inspiration
-water fountains
-my to-do list
-getting a document set up of disputing a fraudulent debt
-getting flyers made up of P cat. just need to print them tomorrow now.
-sunshine
-nightskies
-rest
-innovation
-technology
-letting go
-goals

[buttercup]

-my laptop
-buying myself some gouda cheese today.
-getting confirmed for an odd job last night and getting it all done today
-getting flyers made for P cat
-getting two checks in the mail
-buying myself the silver high top sneakers in the mail i've been wanting for awhile
-iced lattes
-positive affirmations
-physical exercise
-spices
-vegan burritos
-laughing
-naps
-cuteness
-napping with T cat and L kitten today
-staying motivated
-getting a lot done today
-waking up early today
-getting my savings to $400
-having a job interview tomorrow
-doing some journaling tonight
-confirming a job today
-getting some cleaning done today
-vitamins
-my new phone ring tone
-my femininity
-freedom
-how much more independent i've become
-shopping
-kindness
-doing some coloring in an old lisa frank coloring book i found
-smiling
-hot guys
-relaxing some inner resistance i've been having about my love life
-yoga pants
-hoodies
-entertainment
-lorazapam
-going through lots of credit things in my mail i'm trying to fix and doing some work on that
-being approved for care credit
-buying a new wall affirmation decal inspired by an affirmation given to me by my life coach to use for P cat
-efforts
-taking things one day at a time

[buttercup]

-my comforter
-other girl having trouble too with job which worked out since i ended up getting anxiety and not going and was able to use that to help my case
-my cats
-being kind
-wonder
-M putting money in my account
-coffee
-ghee butter
-chickpeas curry
-beauty
-vegan pizza
-my beauty
-art
-my computer
-my phone
-relief after feeling cranky and depressed over some things not working out today
-gratitude
-water
-the photofacial doing a good job of fading some flaws i wanted gone
-trying on my costume and how good i looked in it
-how great my legs looked in my costume before i put tights on
-naps
-sleep
-stretches
-my body being sore from a workout the other day
-after social plans going wrong,going crazy and deciding to buy $50 worth of my favorite candy,a halloween pop-up card for a friend who's party im going to and sending more cat food and dog stuff to my mom
-doing some coloring to relax
-sending out lots of emails for jobs
-being in the halloween spirit lately
-sending out emails on trying to find a dentist to get enameloplasty done
-music
-being complimented
-dimmer lights

[buttercup]

-getting my business meeting done today and getting a ride there and back
-M putting money in my account
-M's husband giving me $20
-S contacting me today
-compliments
-R contacting me and saying sweet things
-shopping
-my cats staying warm and toasty
-deep cleansing breaths
-naps
-my style
-coffee
-my beauty
-how effective my photofacial was
-doing a facemask last night
-makeup
-fashion
-buying myself a crescent moon barrette and a really cute work top or top that can be used as atheleisure with yoga pants
-walking
-deciding to rent a movie
-l kitten cuddling in my arms like a little baby
-the internet
-goals
-music
-beauty
-connection
-that it didn't rain today
-food
-aloe vera juice
-sending out emails for jobs
-being in a more positive mood today
-growing as a person
-newness
-yoga
-doing some cleaning and organizing
-things to look forward to
-my hypnosis audios
-high vibes
-M telling her husband i lost weight
-how relaxed T cat looks when he sleeps or has his neck or chin petted
-all my cats i love and care for and all cats in general

[buttercup]

-R thinking about me
-talking with R
-getting a check in the mail and it being larger then expected
-getting confirmed for a job tomorrow
-blankets
-aloe vera juice
-coffee
-finding out health scare wasn't what i feared and calming down
-lorazapam
-getting my book the secret in the mail
-passing out the rest of the flyers and brochures today
-doing some journaling tonight
-taking the bus by myself for the first time today and how easy it was. i wanted to something that scares me and is in the uncomfortable zone and chose that.
-that the weather was sunny today
-giving T cat a bath today
-cuddling with cats
-buying myself a new jewelry box
-putting another chunk of money into savings so i've now exceeded this month's goal of what i wanted in there which calms me down about all the job cancellations
-laughing at life
-having an interesting life
-sweaters
-showers
-M's husband buying me some chinese food to try
-entertainment
-my phone
-listening to my hypnosis audios this morning
-smiling
-seeing my cats thriving
-calling the referral place i was planning to call for the last few days
-getting a lot of calls/emails now from dentists for the procedure i want done
-activating my care credit card and registering it
-mobile apps
-making an appt for the other referral i got today
-getting a call about a job for a market coming to my city soon. didn't get a chance to call that back,got caught up in anxiety from health scare earlier then trying to finish other goals
-naps
-dimmer lights
-connection
-positive possibilities
-crossing things off my to-do list