GRATITUDE LIST

[buttercup]

-manifesting a goal of my checking account reaching a certain point that i had made last year as a goal that felt exciting for me at the time when i made the goal/intention. it's very cool seeing things like this manifest. my checking account is now the highest it's ever been,at least since i've been single.
-feeling relief when i got fired last night.i had so much resistance and negative momentum that i kept having anxiety all week not knowing what was bothering me until i realized it was not being able to handle/keep this job. so when it finally happened that i did end up fired,i literally did not care. of course,til the next day when i was a wreck all day. but,then i had perspective remembering what i told myself during my anxiety,that even if i fail this,it's ok,because it's a step i've never tooken,and maybe next time,i'll take another step and i'll only go a little further but if i keep going,i'lll get better and better and get to where i want to go,whereas if i don't even try,i'll never get there,and i'll never grow and even only keeping this 3 days before being fired along with the attractive,most competant guy there,this was still a stepping stone,and good experience and growth for me. just keep trusting life,and surrendering.
-getting my check i was antsy about finally
-getting my wall decal for my affirmation wall in the mail today
-rest
-cleaning my room
-making up with R again. we've been fighting like cats and dogs on and off ever since he hurt me in early november. mostly,it's just me getting mad at him,then him ignoring me then me talking to him then us talking it out.
-water
-dimmer lights
-my cats
-ordering food in tonight
-warm showers
-renting a movie online and just relaxing
-the internet
-shopping
-all the opportunities still available to me and that can come to me
-my inner optimisim
-hydrocodone
-lorazapam
-celexa
-tastebuds
-my creativity
-my sentimentality
-pictures
-support
-moisturizers
-coffee
-sleep
-nightskies
-sunshine
-quiet
-feeling the magic of life in certain quiet moments

[buttercup]

-music
-feelings
-seeing R today. taking him to my old neighborhood and finding out he lived there as a child. taking him to a coffee shop i used to go to and then the spooky shop where i bought incense and he bought sage. it was funny and interesting.
-R giving me the straightening iron he bought back in october and finding out it's a $100 straightening iron.
-giving R something i wanted to give him that was a creative,abstract thing i put together
-having a friend now
-adding another $100 to my savings
-communication
-going on a job interview today and i think it going well
-confirming more jobs today
-warm showers
-clean clothes
-makeup
-ibuprofen
-celexa
-lorazapam
-not taking hydrocodone today
-naps
-protein drinks
-my style
-my cats
-relaxing
-new experiences
-reflection
-moisturizers
-sending out more emails for jobs today
-when R is sweet and loving towards me
-my bed
-straw
-cat treats
-hot guys
-my accomplishments
-yoga
-laughing
-fun
-self compassion

[buttercup]

-music
-something peaceful happening. today,i was invited by M to go to the mall and we went shopping and had normal conversation,and got food and to the vitamin store,and dropped off vitamins to her brother. I think it's my affirmation of letting my relationship with M die,and stop hoping and just letting go and moving on that manifested this and it felt really good. letting go is amazing.
-deciding to ignore R. I know it's wrong,but i told him one day i would do this to him just like he does to me sometimes and i just started to feel almost sick of him. this happens sometimes..idk what it is but he has such a heavy energy that it causes me to feel heady in a negative way.i can remember years again feel faint sometimes talking to him. it's like a combination of how much i think he actually thinks about me combined with the games he plays. I'll probably text him on monday or tuesday but just felt a need to do this.
-the cute thanksgiving text R sent me the other day. he said happy thanksgiving my little tofurkey.
-all the shopping i've done in the last few days
-getting my savings to my goal i had for before november was over
-ordering my dream shoes the other day
-all the weight i've lost
-working today
-sunshine
-weather being warmer today
-my style
-my beauty
-feeling sexier
-pinterest
-the internet
-sleep
-cats
-my beauty
-my confidence growing
-beauty
-picking out a tropical punch flavored protein drink at the vitamin shoppe
-M's husband taking me to dinner last night
-my hypnosis audios
-heels
-uber
-making it to work on time
-warm showers
-happiness
-smiling
-style
-cool people
-peace
-laughing
-humor
-great deals
-ideas
-taking my vegan omega supplement today
-my desires
-feeling like i finally have my head together again
-not having to work tomorrow

[buttercup]

-calmness
-getting my new splurge shoes in the mail
-being productive
-sleep
-taking a break from talking to R and how good that feels and that he's still tried to reach out to me.i know it's wrong,but i just felt i had to do this.
-aloe vera water
-physical exercise
-my cats
-style
-music
-fashion
-social media
-sending more emails out for jobs
-laying out in the sun for awhile
-sunshine
-cleaning up the room and organizing
-vegan burritos
-going to the print store to get some more flyers made
-practicing driving today
-incense
-shopping
-watching movies
-coffee
-adding more money to my account today
-my phone
-the internet
-mobile apps
-confidence
-smiling
-moisturizers
-warm showers
-finishing up my written affirmations from the other day
-finding a photo of myself from a few years ago that someone posted today that i liked

[buttercup]

-R liking my social media posts
-breaking my silence with R today
-my beautiful new christian louboutin shoes
-shopping
-nourishment
-movies
-water
-lavender
-animal friendly and animal loving people
-posting more flyers up for my missing ferals from the last year
-sleep
-cuddling with L kitten
-laughing
-my beauty
-sunshine
-weather being a little warmer today
-doing some studying
-drinking more water today
-warm showers
-cuteness
-R saying he misses me
-physical exercises
-stretches
-doing some cleaning
-checking out a job board for some freelance work
-meditating
-prayer
-my faith increasing
-painatrate cream i started using
-deep cleansing breaths
-mantras
-learning
-the cool life experiences i've had
-relaxation
-incense
-peace
-motivation
-finishing my written affirmations last night
-music

[buttercup]

-being positive and in a good mood despite deciding i have to cut ties with R
-fashion
-my beauty
-having a thin face
-weight loss
-rebounding
-nice weather
-friendly,reassuring doctors
-deep cleansing breaths
-trying venlafaxine again
-feeling better after seeing psychiatrist yesterday
-new yoga pants
-seeing life coach last night
-blankets
-cuddles with L kitten. she's cute,she like to scoot real close to me and curl up in a ball
-getting a holiday gift for my mom
-rose oil serum
-coffee
-two bite brownies
-applying to some more jobs today
-moisturizers
-food
-caring people
-studying
-organizing files
-smiling
-being helpful
-my sense of style
-music
-chatting with people
-being awake
-my friend E inviting me to his birthday party this year
-taking life one day at a time
-cuteness

[buttercup]

-jackets
-getting out of the house,running errands with others
-being ok with letting go of R
-how nice and reassuring my doctor is
-naps
-coffee
-going for a bike ride
-sunshine
-overcoming fears
-R responding to a text today
-my outdoor cats and how cute they are
-M's husband giving me money to add to my account when it was low and i needed to add some singles to it
-organizing files
-looking for jobs
-doing more flyers looking for P cat and starting more leafletting for community cats
-my beauty
-warm showers
-coloring my hair
-pictures
-rose oil serum
-meditating
-listening to my hypnosis audios

[buttercup]

-warm showers
-sweaters
-beautiful weather
-deep cleansing breaths
-getting my eyebrows threaded today
-meditation
-my beauty
-burning my wish paper and seeing them all fly up in the air
-my cats
-prayer
-praying with M's husband
-trying on my christian louboutin's and practicing walking in them to boost my mood
-coffee
-my strength
-drinking my apple cider vinegar detox drink
-great skincare products
-fashion
-the internet
-the flow opening up a little bit with money
-doing some flyering today
-my favorite perfume escentric 02
-organizing files
-my style
-yoga
-art
-colors
-grass
-wind
-physical exercise
-food
-my weight loss
-having great cheekbones
-painatrate cream
-organizing my closet a little bit
-movies
-beauty
-my blankets
-my bed
-great uber rates

[buttercup]

-warm showers
-R saying he is scared of falling in love with me and that he thinks about me all the time
-talking to R on the phone and how well we clicked the other day and him calling me so cute and gorgeous and claiming he was jealous and asking does he want me to show how jealous he is.
-working today
-working the other two days i did this week
-enjoying my work
-my beauty
-others thinking im very beautiful
-working with cool products
-free stuff
-coffee
-networking. a guy at my job recently wanted to hire me for car shows and things and seemed to find me attractive by his vibe and said anytime i'm by his restaurant,lunch is on him.
-getting a little bit into the christmas spirit
-makeup
-feeling more attractive lately and like i'm being noticed more
-my teddy bear beanie
-my outdoor cats
-getting my recaps done
-feeling calmer
-deciding to send my one of my boss's a holiday pop-up card
-finding a blue rose from one of my favorite flower companies and deciding to order it
-my christian louboutin shoes
-keeping my mindset positive
-my puffer jacket
-water
-my style
-breaks
-meditation
-blankets
-my bed
-cuddling with cats
-being smart
-art
-keeping up with my anxiety challenges
-my new straightening iron
-organizing and decluttering
-how much im growing as a person
-animal heroes
-cuteness
-positivity

[buttercup]

-drinking my pomegranate juice
-drinking more water today
-my beauty
-stretches
-naps
-5 lorazapam dose
-being ok so far with not talking to R
-cuddling with cats
-prayer
-positive affirmations
-meditation
-writing out a financial improvement plan and a final getting over anxiety plan for one of the things i've been working on
-a lot of guys asking me out in the last few days
-making efforts
-emojis
-that S the guy i met in july is sending me a little christmas gift
-M buying me a christmas mug
-my biggest crush for years and i having coffee plans next week. what a great christmas gift.
-heels
-kind people
-coffee
-bread
-the mri i got done being less scary then ithought it would be
-getting confirmed to work as a new year's vip host again
-the cute things the cats do
-art
-experiencing my desires manifest and how cool it is
-surrender
-staying present