GRATITUDE LIST

[buttercup]

-prayer
-that A from lcbh got me a lawyer so now i no longer have to go to court which is such a relief. It's one of the things i was hating the most. And it now frees up my energy to focus on getting out of here and getting my grant.
-A seeming really happy for me today, and even using words like "my babe" towards me and mwuahz which was cute and interesting and a little bit of a shift from the last few days now
-how cute it is when my cats go in their tunnel toys
-music
-my beauty
-looking like a model
-the compliments i get
-my gray winter coat and how sophisticated and chic it is
-cardigans
-leaving the house yesterday and the sun was out and getting a serotonin boost from it which brought me an insane amount of clarity and feeling of everything is going to be fine, it's do-able and not a misery catastrophe
-having nice lips
-taking the train home from the courthouse today and finding it which made me feel like an adult that is competent
-buying myself 2 monster cookies that M used to get me when i seen a corner bakery across the street from the courthouse for sake of recreating joy and memory
-my cica sleepmask
-my warm feelings for A
-working yesterday
-the people who provide free legal help. It's such a great service they are doing and seeing that little desk there besides the organization that's been helping me was really great
-getting in miles today that was a nice walk, which was nice. I haven't been walking much with all the stress and so i really appreciated that
-the cocoa butter body moisturizer i use which is really good
-makeup
-my eyes looking less puffy the other day at work
-having goals
-hanging out with A making realize i'm ready to go back to my creative pursuits
-viewing an apartment today which means i'm closer to getting an apartment than i was last spring
-getting a little more comfortable wearing a little less clothing, such as clothes that are fitted without super covering up
-seeing my body looking a little more trim in clothes
-getting a call back from ebt card about not redetermining in time and getting it reloading and attempting to call back to reach a person. Hearing on the automated line that it's processing at least, my late redetermination.
-calling to ask questions about bankruptcy today
-deciding my new hair color i'm transitioning to, which will be very coppery, ditching any blonde left in my hair and almost even having orange to it
-reflecting on more of what i want my glo up to entail and what it needs
-my hyaluronic acid lip booster
-eyebrow makeup that thickens and darkens eyebrows
-new ideas
-entertainment
-humor
-funny videos
-clean socks
-cleaning the kitchen floor yesterday
-all the free alcohol i've been getting
-making more money this month than i will last month
-sunshine
-doing a toning/strength training workout at home. A treat to myself to do something normal that i havent been able to do because i've been so busy with all the stressful stuff
-models
-fashion
-M giving me money to uber to the courthouse
-my therapy session over the phone the other day, i think it helped
-that my psychiatrist is considering putting me on adderall/vyvanse
-blankets
-sleep when i can get it
-exploring my sensuality a bit to give S the erotic picture of me he wanted. It was very difficult, and I was kind of upset in the way that i didn't want to talk to him after but he was very happy with the pictures and it was good to see myself in new ways
-opening myself up to new ideas
-my humidifier
-applying to a bunch of apartments to tour tonight
-watching a few movies a couple times this last week
-dental floss
-staying calm as i can with all the crazy
-that i can donate plasma today
-that i get paid this week,i believe
-ibuprofen
-baby aspirin
-sedatives
-really getting more into my feminine energy this year
-listening to gamma brain waves and remembering how beneficial those are
-listening to crown chakra music last night and root chakra
-colors
-beauty
-how beautiful my cats are
-the help that's been coming to me
-allowing myself to become new and to rebuild
-protein bars
-having a kind heart
-having had some wild and interesting life experiences
-connecting with others
-taking things one day at a time
-being resourceful
-my cats making me laugh at how cute, funny, and innocent they are.