Awareness

[White_Raven]

Hi everyone,

I'm new here to this forum, but I'll just jump right in here.

I had my kundalini awakening some 30 years ago. For many years I've lived with an intense metaphysical awareness, and sensitivity to many things. For the most part it has been fine and not unsettling. I've been blessed by a propensity to gravitate toward light and positive energy, and am generally a positive and peaceful person. I've been very private about my inner experiences, and they have not worried me, I've just gone on with my path letting kundalini do its work and growing. Obviously though a kundalini awakening is a peak experience there is a lot of growing from there to be done. It is just the beginning, not the end, that's an error I think people make in understanding why it is not easy, why it doesn't solve everything.

Somehow over the last six months I seem to have experienced a leap in awareness. I have never been the most keen observer in the world, and often my positive nature will cause me to see only the beauty in things. However somehow in my process, I have felt my mind expanding, and I find myself observing discrepancies and seeing issues and corrective work that must be done. Details at work and at home, and everywhere. When I try to communicate, I am finding other people not aware of what I am noticing, and I feel like I am in the twilight zone. It has been noted by others with active kundalini, that sometimes one can feel difficulty in expressing thoughts and feelings. I relate to this presently, and I think now it is partly because one is so aware of what they are expressing, that they find words themselves problematical or inadequate. I think also in the case of trying to describe spiritual ideas, thoughts that seem simple on an inner level often turn out to be completely beyond the power of words to express.

Besides the twilight zone effect, the heightened attentiveness to discrepancies causes a kind of mental ache. Pressure builds up in my third eye region, when I am concentrating on something intently like a book for long periods. When I exercise, it seems to help. I am wondering if anyone can relate to this, the wide awake mind that keeps picking up on everything, and if so, what's good way to turn it down a bit and let it flow through.

[CFTraveler]

Hi White Raven.
'Meta Awareness' can be problematic to convey, but it does get easier, and at some point you will be able to express yourself better. Just don't try to make it happen, let it all unfold as it goes, is all I can say.

[psionickx]

For many years I've lived with an intense metaphysical awareness, and sensitivity to many things.

I've been very private about my inner experiences, and they have not worried me, I've just gone on with my path letting kundalini do its work and growing.

Obviously though a kundalini awakening is a peak experience there is a lot of growing from there to be done. It is just the beginning, not the end, that's an error I think people make in understanding why it is not easy, why it doesn't solve everything.

When I exercise, it seems to help

Believe in yourself.

[White_Raven]

psionickx,

Wow, thank you. You are right. In fact, I've known that greater awareness is only partly about perceiving a longer view. A lot of it is about trusting to my own reasoning and intuitive processes, instead of taking many false appearances and generally accepted notions as the gospel of truth of what the world looks like. The lesson is about trust in me. Thanks so much. I needed to have that one bounced right back to me.

[psionickx]

had my kundalini awakening some 30 years ago

[farewell2arms]

psionickx,

Wow, thank you. You are right. In fact, I've known that greater awareness is only partly about perceiving a longer view. A lot of it is about trusting to my own reasoning and intuitive processes, instead of taking many false appearances and generally accepted notions as the gospel of truth of what the world looks like. The lesson is about trust in me. Thanks so much. I needed to have that one bounced right back to me.

Dude, I hear you. I'm at the exact same spot.

If you can't trust yourself to follow, how can you trust god to lead you? A lesson I was recently taught...

Somehow over the last six months I seem to have experienced a leap in awareness. I have never been the most keen observer in the world, and often my positive nature will cause me to see only the beauty in things. However somehow in my process, I have felt my mind expanding, and I find myself observing discrepancies and seeing issues and corrective work that must be done. Details at work and at home, and everywhere. When I try to communicate, I am finding other people not aware of what I am noticing, and I feel like I am in the twilight zone.

I say, consider the lesson taught when you notice. Notice that what needs to be done, and leave it be. Struggling only tends to make matters worse. At least for me. As the observer, your role is to see the beauty and completeness in things.

I too feel like in the twilight zone. Sometimes my peers seem to ignore me completely. If it's because my personality has changed or if it's because I am unconsciously sending out bad vibes I don't know, but the only thing I can do about that is coping. Cause I can only change myself, I can't change them.

Cheers,

John

[White_Raven]

Dude, I hear you. I'm at the exact same spot.

If you can't trust yourself to follow, how can you trust god to lead you? A lesson I was recently taught...

I say, consider the lesson taught when you notice. Notice that what needs to be done, and leave it be. Struggling only tends to make matters worse. At least for me. As the observer, your role is to see the beauty and completeness in things.

Thanks - we must be in the same place, that's what I've been thinking - give it to God. Tasks, gifts, lessons, who else but God wants it to be used for the good and is only giving me my share of the bounty. But I had not thought of it in terms of trust. I like that very much. Yes, I am struggling with some challenges now, a lot of it has to do with my job moving me to a country that is not easy to live in. I think my K has upped my awareness and is trying to find solutions, and eventually they will come to pass. The struggle is not futhering the cause. The solution is ahead anyway

I too feel like in the twilight zone. Sometimes my peers seem to ignore me completely. If it's because my personality has changed or if it's because I am unconsciously sending out bad vibes I don't know, but the only thing I can do about that is coping. Cause I can only change myself, I can't change them.

My experience has been, that people are quiet when truth comes up and they want to avoid the work involved. Truth means change. I think perhaps, we humans have brought a lot of that on ourselves. Truth means change, to go back to the truth, for us sometimes. Noticing is a good sign. The solution is in the future. We will get there. That's why we need to be where we are now, and trust in the divine path.

[White_Raven]

had my kundalini awakening some 30 years ago

30 years of glorious, divine love. Nice to think that though the body is finite, divine love is everlasting. Shakti bliss. Couldn't come on a better day.

[mysteec77]

Hi White_Raven,

I too am new to this forum and appreciate your post greatly. I had experience a huge spiritual turmoil in my life 9 years ago which lasted nearly a year (I suspect it was Kundalini experience) . I did not know what it was, but after the war within myself in which I felt like every mental aspect of my being was trying to rip each other apart, I finally felt whole (I took a whole week off work just to enjoy the peace and quiet, and told my husband to get lost ). The physical world became much more beautiful and I saw more things which previously I had only sensed. My life completely changed, and finally started going in a positive direction (got the nerve to finally get divorced etc ).

However about 18 months ago I started experiencing exactly what you have described, having a very very difficult time communicating thoughts, processes, etc and it has affected my work. I have tried fighting through it, rethinking, rewriting, bouncing my thoughts off colleagues, and became extremely frustrated. Before building cohesion within project teams was a strong suit of mine. I have been told I only see things in black and white, and do not communicate ideas clearly on a regular basis, whereas in my personal life I have started meeting the most fascinating, positive, happy individuals, purely by chance, such as a practicing Druid and a Shufu master. They have been very helpful counseling me, and have helped me keep my job. With ideas such as type your email, let it sit, and reread it before sending. Plus sometimes its better to keep to yourself at work until your energy centers. The best piece of advise they gave is SLOW DOWN your thoughts before speaking!!

I like you would like to turn down the wisdom and energy being received. It is FINALLY starting to somewhat even out but unfortuately like you the twilight zone lingers, at times it is very difficult communicating an awesome idea I see. Lately if I cannot see a way to simplify the idea enough, I just don't bother communicating it to my co-workers. Because of the drastic change in my thought processes, or perhaps I put out too strong of an energy vibe, they avoid me like the plague, and treat my ideas as suspect (definately feel invisible). My hope is one of the two face to face interviews will pan out .

My friends and family feel my current job has been nothing but negative since I started there 4 years ago, and it is time for change. I suspect if you are patient, and work hard to remain on the positive side wonderful things are in your future. Believe in yourself!!! I wish I had taken a step back sooner, and had not tried to force the energy to center. It brought nothing but misery.

[White_Raven]

Mysteec 77,

A beautiful day to you By the way, I also am a lover of Emerson.

Before my kundalini awakening, in my teen years, I used to say things like "God only gives you what you can handle". I know that I sent out huge, thunderous requests to the universe to grant me the grace of seeing the answers to the greatest questions. I asked for the kundalini process, and it truly has been good to me. There is nothing more valuable to me than living in consciously in the awareness of divine love.

Those who do not want to see the wisdom we are receiving because our channel is open, didn't ask. Things that gel in our minds from that space, are beautiful, whole, and complete on so many levels, because they are divine. Getting those kinds of things into words and into someone else's headspace is not necessary and often futile. The best way to share a tremendous spiritual insight is often in something as simple as a hug.

My twilight zone area is getting that lesson in terms of awareness of everyday things in my professional life and at home. I have grown mentally lately - even my math skills have improved. Recently it caused me to realize at work that an assessment formula we’ve been using is incorrect, and I was confounded that the big boss, completely ignored the discovery. Colleagues, and my husband, are treating me like my notice of something obsolves them from doing anything connected with it. My k is building up – holding energy and working hard at fussy matters, and my K is asking me for a break – letting me know that awareness is not an assignment! My trouble recognizing that my beautiful, happy process is the same kundalini that causes people many difficulties was "no physical effects" - until huge responsibility at work some years ago caused the base of my spine to actually hum and buzz! I have had some wonderful graces since my first post, good thoughts, good energy, good reminders. And now I have had some from you, about slowing down, writing first drafts, and giving it time. I see now that I need to not be duped when the emperor isn't wearing any clothes in the lastest twilight zone episode...Kundalini doesn’t act up when I share only a hug out of a spiritual insight – it does act up, when I do more than my part. I think it’s as John said – my part is done when I’ve noticed!